(CNN) — Beantown vs. the Emerald City. Snow vs. rain. Tea vs. coffee.
Why wait for the Super Bowl? Let's start the Boston-Seattle smack talk now.
Sunday's preeminent football game is more than just the Patriots against the Seahawks. It also pits two northern coastal cities against each other in a clash of cultures: East vs. West, Pilgrims vs. loggers, tweed vs. flannel, "wicked pissah" vs. "hey, the mountain is out."
Which burg is better? We've come up with a highly unscientific scorecard.
Let's break it down:
Beverage of choice
Sure, the Boston Tea Party helped free us from British rule and all, but how could we survive without our daily coffee?
Score: Seattle 1, Boston 0
Major sports championships
No contest here.
Score: Seattle 1, Boston 1
"Singles," that ode to Seattle's early-'90s grunge scene, hasn't aged as well as the Matt Damon-Robin Williams bromance. How do you like them apples?
Score: Boston 2, Seattle 1
They're both worthy, but Nirvana may be the most influential rock band of the past 25 years.
Score: Boston 2, Seattle 2
Junior was amazing, but he never hit .406.
Score: Boston 3, Seattle 2
Famous native son
What would you rather listen to: someone shouting "the British are coming!" or "Purple Haze"?
Score: Boston 3, Seattle 3
Baked beans are tasty. But they never led the NBA in scoring, won an MVP award and brought tears to the eyes of moms everywhere.
Score: Seattle 4, Boston 3
Defining TV show
Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.
Score: Seattle 4, Boston 4
Once the tallest structure west of the Mississippi River, the 605-foot-tall Space Needle is built to withstand winds of up to 200 miles per hour and has a revolving restaurant on top with views of Mount Rainier. The Bunker Hill Monument has 294 steps.
Score: Seattle 5, Boston 4
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Score: Seattle 6, Boston 4
Place to find smart people
Harvard gave us Teddy Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, Henry David Thoreau and Neil deGrasse Tyson. Microsoft gave us Windows Vista.
Score: Seattle 6, Boston 5
Local food to eat with a spoon
Both cities serve a mean clam/fish chowder, but let's be honest: Boston's is the original -- and more fun to pronounce. Get your chowdah heah!
Score: Seattle 6, Boston 6
Four months after it opened to traffic in 1940, the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapsed in 40-mph winds. But Bill Buckner and the infamous '86 Red Sox were one strike away from winning the World Series.
Boston 7, Seattle 6
By our scoring, venerable Boston comes out on top -- barely -- over its upstart West Coast rival. Let's hope the actual Super Bowl is this close.