Annie MacDonald was waiting in a long line at a small bank in the coastal city of Zihuatanejo, Mexico when she first laid eyes on Steven Berger.
It was March 1981, St Patrick’s Day. Annie, in her mid-20s and hailing from Ottawa, Canada, was finishing up a three-week adventure around Mexico, traveling with her friend Ellen.
As it happened, Annie wasn’t supposed to be in Zihuatanejo that day. Ellen had traveled on to Mexico City, but Annie wasn’t feeling well, so she’d decided to stay in the beachside spot for a few days longer.
Steven, an American middle school teacher in his early 30s, was on a solo trip, visiting from Denver, Colorado.
“Steven has long joked that he thought I was attracted to him and began talking to him because he was exchanging American dollars at the bank – which were worth so much more than Canadian dollars,” says Annie, laughing.
This wasn’t the case, she insists – besides, it was Steven who initiated the conversation.
“There was this really cute, hot girl, about three people in line in front of me, and she was wearing this dress that looked a little bit like it could be from Afghanistan, where I had just been,” Steven tells CNN Travel. “Now this could be revisionist history, of course. But I remember saying something like, ‘Oh, is that from Afghanistan?’ And then the rest is history.”
“Steven was wearing a navy velour T-shirt,” adds Annie. “Not exactly a fashion statement, as he’d freely admit.”
Annie’s long, orange caftan wasn’t from Afghanistan, but Steven’s question got the two talking about their travels, and what had brought them to Zihuatanejo.
“We were just kindred spirits right from the beginning,” says Annie.
Almost without realizing, the two strangers ended up spending the whole day together, swimming in the clear seas, relaxing on Zihuatanejo’s sandy beaches, and chatting in between dips.
Annie had four days before she was set to reunite with Ellen and fly home. She and Steven spent every day together, relaxing and chatting on the beaches and occasionally sneaking into a swanky resort in nearby Ixtapa to lounge by the pool.
It was, Annie says, “a whirlwind romance.”
She remembers feeling “euphoric.” Steven says he was “ecstatic.”
But although Annie was swept up in the excitement of falling for Steven, she still felt out of sorts physically.
In between their beach visits, Annie and Steven would hunt out lime Jell-O, hoping it would settle Annie’s stomach.
“Steven and I had lots of time to chat as we wandered from one tiny neighborhood shop to another,” says Annie.
On these walks, the two talked about “everything.”
“It seems inconceivable now, but we also talked seriously about either his moving to Ottawa or my relocating to Denver,” Annie adds.
The four days came to an end and Annie was due to fly home. As they said their goodbyes, Steven gave Annie a parting gift – a gold chain he’d bought during a stint teaching in Iran. She immediately put it around her neck.
A diagnosis
Back in Canada, Annie regaled her family and friends with stories of Steven.
“Of course, they all thought I was crazy and that nothing could possibly come of this romance,” recalls Annie.
Still plagued by the symptoms that had bothered her in Zihuatanejo, Annie also booked a check up at the doctors. She ended up admitted to hospital and diagnosed with non-A, non-B hepatitis.
The treatment plan was straightforward, but the doctors had further concerns.
“While I was in the hospital, I developed – or the staff noticed – a lump on the left side of my neck which wasn’t consistent with the hepatitis diagnosis,” says Annie.
The medical team wanted to investigate the lump further, but Annie wasn’t worried.
“I was quite frankly blissfully unaware,” she says. “Or in a state of denial.”
Instead, Annie’s focus was on an upcoming business trip to Alberta, Canada.
“I was thrilled as I was able to take a few extra days and fly down to Denver to visit Steven, to see if there was really anything to this whirlwind romance,” says Annie.
“It felt wonderful to reconnect,” says Steven of their Denver reunion. “But it never felt to me we were apart.”
Since parting in Mexico, the couple had spoken regularly on the phone and sent cards and letters through the mail.
For Annie and Steven, the reunion made it clear their connection was more than just a vacation romance. But Steven was worried about the lump on Annie’s neck. Although Annie figured it was nothing, Steven felt certain it didn’t spell good news.
A month later, on her 27th birthday, Annie was diagnosed with stage three non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a form of cancer.
With Annie confined to a hospital bed, Annie’s mother rang Steven to tell him the news.
“We’re going to be in this together,” Steven told Annie when they were eventually able to speak directly. “We’re crazy in love.”
Steven says his approach was – and is – to be in the moment, whatever its challenges.
“I didn’t really think, ‘I wish it were this and not that,’” he explains. “My philosophy was to accept the situation and go on from there.”
Still, Annie’s diagnosis was upsetting. After he received the phone call from Annie’s mother, Steven went on a drive, alone, and cried.
Annie was given a leave of absence from her job for the rest of the summer so she could navigate her chemotherapy treatments, which took place every three weeks, and the side effects.
Steven visited Ottawa as soon as he could, on July 4. Over the course of a long weekend, Steven met Annie’s family and friends for the first time.
It was a trip both surreal and special. Annie planned several dinner parties – “if he’s going to come, I’m going to introduce him to everybody,” she remembers thinking.
“All four of her brothers approved of me,” says Steven.
“That also happened to be the time when my hair began falling out in clumps from the chemotherapy I’d started, but he took it like a champ and didn’t mind the wig I now needed to wear all the time,” says Annie.
Annie knew she and Steven had become serious very quickly. Perhaps, she thought, this wasn’t a “normal” progression of romance.
But Annie felt that her life was no longer “normal” anyway. And her friends and family were delighted at how happy Steven made her, and very appreciative of his unwavering support.
“All they were concerned about, quite frankly, was that I would survive the cancer and be okay,” says Annie. “For [my friends] and for my family and for myself, that meant having Steven in the picture. He was part and parcel of my survival, effectively.”
Navigating illness and long distance
A month later, in August 1982, Annie traveled to Denver, squeezing in the trip in between chemotherapy cycles.
“However, the day I was supposed to fly [back to Canada] the American air traffic controllers went out on strike, leaving me stranded,” she recalls.
Fortunately, Annie was able to arrange a last minute chemo session at the hospital in Denver.
Steven, who’d supported Annie from afar during earlier treatment cycles, now had a front row seat to the realities of chemotherapy.
“If I, my parents, family, and friends had any doubt what a prince Steven was, his being at my side for the next 36 hours while dealing with the nasty side effects of the chemo sealed it for all of us,” says Annie.
Afterward, Annie and Steven road-tripped to Ottawa together, camping in tents along the way.
Annie and Steven say it was simply “obvious,” that they would get married. There was no formal proposal, and Annie picked out her own ring.
While Annie’s loved ones wholeheartedly supported her engagement to Steven, Steven’s family had hesitations.
“Not only did I have the Big C, cancer, but I was also Catholic and Canadian, not exactly a winning combination to his Jewish family,” says Annie.
Steven says his parents were mostly concerned about their son’s wellbeing.
“They saw it as – you’re going to marry somebody who might die in the next six months,” he says.
In time, Steven’s family came round. As they got to know Annie, they understood how important she was to their son.
“I had a warm and loving relationship with them,” says Annie. “I give them kudos for that. Because I know that was not easy for them, not easy at all – it was a tough situation.”
Annie’s final chemotherapy treatment was in December 1981. A couple of months later, in February 1982 – less than a year after meeting in Mexico – Annie and Steven got married in a small ceremony, surrounded by family and friends. Annie took Steven’s name, becoming Annie Berger.
Annie’s friend Lezlie found her a long silk headband, which teamed with her wig, made Annie feel amazing.