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By Tam Gray, Michele Orecklin And Jessica Yadegaran

TIME magazine


"If the dress doesn't fit, we must acquit. If it's on the dress, he must confess."
Rep. James Traficant Jr., in a pithy summary of the political landscape

"I'm never affronted by the due process of law. I might be bankrupted by it, but I'm not affronted."
Harold Ickes, former presidential aide, on whether he was upset after testifying before a grand jury in Washington

"One of my role models, Xena, the Warrior Princess, comes from here."
Madeleine Albright, the Secretary of State, days after naming Dean Acheson as an exemplar; in New Zealand, home of Lucy Lawless, who portrays Xena

"I wouldn't pay a dime for it...There's not a piece of memorabilia worth a dime."
Mark Mcgwire, on the value of the ball he would hit to break Roger Maris' home-run record

Sources: New York Times (Traficant); USA Today (Ickes); New York Post (Albright); AP (McGwire)

The Aria

Monica Lewinsky began singing before a grand jury last week, but what was the tune? Was she Madama Butterfly's forlorn Cio-Cio-San or a vengeance-bent Salome? A song not on her playlist? Try Devil with a Blue Dress on.


Geoffrey Fieger
Kevorkian lawyer is Dem nominee for Michigan Gov. Would the doc get to downsize government?

Jerry Seinfeld
Warm welcome on Broadway may open opportunities. Jerry in Oklahoma? In The King and I?

George Bush
CIA Building named for him. Fitting for one who needed a decoder to be understood

& Losers

Mike Barnicle
Columnist charged with stealing George Carlin's jokes. Good Lord, is that a hanging offense?

Modern Library
Judges of Top 100 novels admit flaky selection procedure produced spurious results

Saddam Hussein
Ceases cooperation with U.N. inspectors. Note to Bill: Wag the Dog now out on video

Bad Guys

Hide And Seek
Law enforcement has been tracking Eric Robert Rudolph for six months. So what? At least seven onetime members of the FBI's Most Wanted List have been on the lam more than 20 years, notably alleged murderer Joseph Maloney, on the run almost 31 years.

Sign Language

Written In The Stars
Many observers think Aug. 17 will be a hard day for Bill Clinton, but that's not what the stars say. "It looks like it's going to be a piece of cake," says Jerome Rainville of the American School of Astrology. "Clinton has no planets opposing him, and Mercury and Venus are in alignment. On the 16th he will be getting good advice. He will have Sun sextile Jupiter, which gives vision and ideas. On the 17th he will be very cool, not uptight at all." What about Ken Starr? "Things look difficult. He's got Mars conjuncting his natal Saturn. He'll feel tired, obstructed, like he's not getting anywhere. Starr has a Saturn sun; he's a person who needs recognition. Clinton is a Leo, and Leo is like the Sun. It blinds us."

Bill Clinton
Born: Aug. 19, 1946
8:51 a.m. C.T.
Hope, Ark., U.S.A.

Contest Corner

A Winner! About 500 people accepted our challenge two weeks ago to write a parody of a nursery rhyme that dealt with a subject in the news. In a close competition, Cheryl Georgeson of Lincoln, Neb., prevailed, and will collect a coveted Notebook T shirt. Her entry parodied "Mary Had a Little Lamb":

Clinton had a little fun
Intern fun, it was dumb
Clinton had a little fun
It was against the rules.

The intern told a friend each day
Her calls were taped along the way
Hearing what she had to say
Starr's mouth began to drool.

Clinton swore an oath that he
Had no sex with Lew-in-sky
Then she got immunity
Oh, fate can be so cruel!

Can't escape the public eye
A stand-up guy, he'll testify
Did he ask someone to lie?
If so, it wasn't cool.

Clinton had a little fun,
A little fun, a smoking gun
Current odds are 10 to 1
In the impeachment pool.

Announcing Notebook Contest #2, In Which Readers Are Asked To Consider The New Alfred Hitchcock Postage Stamp, Shown Here, And Then Design A Stamp, Depicting Some Current Figure Or Event, That The Postal Service Might Reasonably Issue In The Year 2050. Fax Your Entry To (212) 467-1010, E-Mail It To Letters@Time.Com Or Mail It To Time Notebook Contest #2, Room 2321b, Time & Life Building, New York, N.Y. 10020.


40: Percentage of respondents in a January 1998 poll who believed the Lewinsky matter was "of great importance to the country"

22: Percentage who think so now

$52,000: Secretary of Defense William Cohen's decorating bill for his Pentagon office, $14,000 of which was spent on "Aries blue" carpet

$22,000: The amount he went over budget

$350,000: Anthony Edwards' salary per episode of ER, the No. 2-rated show last season

$1 million: Paul Reiser's salary per episode of Mad About You, rated 27th

$400 million: Amount Disney offered the NHL for the rights to broadcast hockey games on ABC and ESPN for the next five years

45: Percentage increase the offer is over the amount Fox paid in 1994

24: Percentage NHL TV ratings have dropped since 1996

Sources: New York Daily News; Nielsen; Pew Research Center; New York Post; Bloomberg News
In TIME This Week

Cover Date: August 17, 1998

Investigating The President
If He Must, Do It With Flair
Over To You, Bill
No, There's A Trap Waiting
Billy Martin: Monica's Minister Of Defense
Pundits' Jamboree

John Glenn
Back To The Future
The Soul Of A Senator
A Realm Where Age Doesn't Count
Milestones In Space

The Motown Motormouth
If The Going Gets Rough, Gephardt's Got A Scrapper

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