Families are at war over a wedding tradition India banned decades ago

Updated 8:17 PM ET, Sat July 31, 2021

(CNN)Vismaya Nair had been married for just over one year when she was found dead in the bathroom of her husband's family's home in India's southwestern Kerala state.

Initially, police had no reason to view the 24-year-old student's death on June 21 as suspicious, until her family made a complaint under the country's "dowry death" law.
The law allows charges to be brought against people for causing the death or suicide of a woman within the first seven years of her marriage in which the family had promised a dowry -- gifts given to a groom's family when a couple marry.
Dowries have been banned in India for more than 60 years, but the practice persists -- and not only in rural and more traditional parts of the country.
Kerala -- where Nair died -- boasts some of the highest literacy rates for both men and women in India, and is generally considered a progressive state -- but it still "exhibits stark and persistent dowry inflation since the 1970s and has the highest average dowry in recent years," according to a World Bank report released in June.
Vismaya Nair at her wedding in May 2020.
Harshita Attaluri, an inspector general of police in Kerala, said investigators have yet to establish whether Nair died by suicide or was murdered.
Police arrested Nair's husband, Kiran Kumar, under India's dowry death law. He remains in custody but hasn't been charged.
Kumar's lawyer, B. A. Aloor, said Kumar did not commit any dowry-related crime.
"There is nothing on record to show that this gentleman either committed a murder or a dowry death," he said.

"There is nothing on record to show that this gentleman either committed a murder or a dowry death."B A AloorKumar's lawyer

Traditionally, a dowry referred to gifts in the form of cash or goods that parents gave their daughter to provide her with more financial security in her marriage.
But now experts say families are transferring cash, gold, cars, real estate property or other assets to the groom's family as a condition of the marriage.
And some families are deeply unhappy with the deal.

An illegal practice

India's dowry system dates back in some form for thousands of years, when women who were unable to inherit property under Hindu laws were provided with a dowry registered under her name during marriage.
Over time, the practice became associated with violence against women linked to the coercion of dowry from her family. Crimes included physical abuse and harassment, as well as deaths related to dissatisfaction over the amount of dowry received. So, it was criminalized under the 1961 Dowry Prohibition Act with a fine and prison sentence of at least five years.
But the law was ineffective, say experts, so in the 1980s lawmakers introduced sections into India's penal code allowing authorities to charge men or their family members with a "dowry death." The charge carries a prison sentence of seven years to life.
But despite the tougher penalties, the practice of dowries still remains deeply entrenched in society as an integral part of marriage.
According to the World Bank, a dowry was given in 95% of the 40,000 marriages that took place in rural India between 1960 and 2008.
The information was based on the 2006 Rural Economic and Demographic Survey -- the most recent source of dowry data covering 17 major states.
Recent crime figures suggest dowries are still being paid.
In 2019, the country recorded more than 13,000 complaints over dowries and more than 7,100 dowry deaths, according to the National Crime Records Bureau of India.
Of the 3,516 dowry deaths that were tried in court in 2019, only 35.6% led to a criminal conviction. Experts say it can be difficult for families to prove that harassment over a dowry led to a woman's death.
Thousands of cases are still working their way through courts; at the end of 2019, more than 46,000 cases were still to be tried. Activists say the large number of cases shows the laws in place are highly ineffective, and have been for a long time.
"Legally it is banned, but it is a socially accepted practice," said Sandhya Pillai, a trustee of Sakhi Women's Resource Centre in Kerala. "Nobody feels that it is not OK to give or take dowry, irrespective of the law."

'She loved to dance'

Nair's brother Vijith Nair said his sister was once a "bright, bold, and active girl."
"She was a very active woman, not only was she studying medicine but also she used to be part of the National Cadet Corps and represented the state in national camps," he said, referring to her involvement in the youth wing of the Indian Armed forces.
"She loved to dance, she loved to travel and fly."
That changed after she married, he said.
"She was restricted from using social media, from calling her parents, from flying, all because of this one thing -- this dowry."
Vismaya Nair with her brother, Vijith Nair.
He said her husband, Kumar, didn't seem happy with the car his family gave him. "We gave him a good car, but he didn't stop demanding for a bigger and more expensive car," Nair said.
The police inspector Attaluri said Kumar was embarrassed by the make and model of the car he received and not happy with his wife's dowry, which included an amount of gold.
Nair said his family wanted his sister to be financially secure.
"We gave this much for her -- what I earned working, my father's life savings from 20-plus years of working, we gave it all for her life security," he said. "And only one year passed (after her marriage), and we lost her."
Kumar's lawyer said allegations of a dowry dispute were "false and baseless." CNN has attempted to reach Kumar's family for comment.

An ongoing battle

Nair was not the only woman to die in suspicious circumstances in Kerala in June -- the families of three other women have also filed complaints with police over dowries.
On the same day as Nair's death, 22-year-old Archana died from immolation, according to the complaint lodged with police that only identifies her by one name. Police registered the case under the criminal section of the death of a woman within seven years of marriage.