9 things that weren't scary before the pandemic but are now

Updated 2:23 PM ET, Sun March 14, 2021

(CNN)What was nice about the Before Times was that, for most people, social interactions and outings could be carefree. We miss them, and that's a big reason why we long for the pandemic to end. But when life stabilizes in the new, new normal, how will we really feel about resuming activities we used to do — like dining out or shaking hands?

The world isn't fully safe yet, but vaccinated people whose states have reopened to some extent may find themselves in a strange, nerve-wracking environment.
People with obsessive-compulsive disorder and cleaning rituals, trauma, or anxiety disorders may have an especially difficult time reacclimating.
"What was familiar no longer seems as familiar," said Lynn Bufka, the senior director of practice transformation and quality at the American Psychological Association. "For close to a year now, we've had messages of not being with others, to be distant ... then the idea that, 'Oh, there's ways that we can be with others and it's OK' — that's new information to reconcile. So, it's understandable that it feels different, at least, if not anxiety-provoking or stressful."
Anxiety can serve as a warning about situations we should pay attention to and be careful with, Bufka added. These are the experiences and places that may cause apprehension as the world reopens, and the tips experts have for handling them.

Eye contact

If you've been social distancing at home, it's likely the only people you have made eye contact with lately are your housemates, cashiers at stores and coworkers through a screen.
In a future without masks, "you might want to look down because you're afraid," said Jane Webber, an assistant professor of counselor education and doctoral program coordinator at Kean University in New Jersey. "Generally, just eye contact and a small smile I call the 'Mona Lisa smile' fills people on the other side with a really nice feeling. They will mirror what you do."
Eye contact is the easiest interaction to start with because it reintroduces us to connecting and showing we care, said Webber, who teaches about trauma, stress and coping skills.

Being among crowds

If you recently have watched a movie filmed before the pandemic, chances are any crowd scenes looked a little peculiar. While we're still far off from large gatherings, you may soon find yourself in increasingly close quarters in grocery stores or on mass transportation.
As a psychologist, Webber has taught students something called a "circle of protective space." She explained, "We'll put a rope or ribbon on the floor and (ask), 'How big of a circle do you need to feel safe in a crowd?' Most people will say, 'I need some space in front of me or on my sides.'"
Once you've decided how much space you need, strategically use your elbows or legs or an object — like a shopping bag or grocery cart — to create it. When you need people to respect your boundaries, kindly tell them, "I just need a little more space."
If you feel panicked, Webber suggested focusing on your breathing and telling yourself, "I'm going to be out of this in a few minutes." Move slowly with the crowd and toward the perimeters until you find space.

Shaking hands and hugging

In the pandemic's early days, whether to shake hands was a topic of debate. Now, people mostly just don't. Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the US National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, strongly advised breaking with this age-old cultural norm — for good. As people meet more frequently, if you encounter someone who extends a hand, the germ factor may cause you to instinctually recoil.
"We're social people," Webber said. "You (might) reach out and then you pull your hand back, and we tell people that's a natural feeling."
If in this moment you feel anxious, waving or bumping elbows instead is OK, Webber said. "Let people know that you're still a little nervous," she added. "By doing that, we've made a connection and they (will) have empathy."
The thought of a hug may be even scarier. All the same, in this year of social distancing, we have become "connection-starved," Webber said. But now still isn't the time to embrace everyone you see. If you or someone outside your household you care about is craving the warmth of affectionate touch, give yourself a "butterfly" hug by wrapping your arms around yourself, tapping each shoulder and "sending it off" to that person. If someone leans in for a hug, kindly express your concerns and initiate a butterfly hug instead.

Flirting or getting asked on a date

If you're getting coffee to go and someone asks you for a date, your brain may be ransacking your memory for how you should respond to such an unfamiliar request.
You can take it slow if you're not ready, Bufka said. Suggest that the two of you start by exchanging phone numbers, then progress with virtual dates.

New intimate relationships

Progressing from flirting to the first date may feel like a lost art. Also, the pandemic may have added some unusual questions to your getting-to-know-you list: Has this person been vaccinated? What does she think of the Covid-19 vaccine and masks? How has she behaved during the pandemic? Is she asymptomatic?
Those questions are actually exactly what you should ask to learn whether your love interest shares your values and whether you want the relationship to go further, Bufka said. Your date's answers would indicate whether you both agree on the level of risk, which precautions to take and which risks are OK.
Approach the conversation gently, humbly and without judgment, Bufka advised. Share which behaviors you've been trying to prioritize during the pandemic and why, and that you're curious about what your date has done. If you're thinking of getting serious, "being able to have a conversation like that is something you'd want to be able to do," Bufka added.
If you're nervous about physical intimacy, acknowledging that is OK. "Like, 'Gosh, it's been a year since I've kissed somebody. I kind of forgot how to do it.' You can take it a little more lighthearted," Bufka said. If you're not yet vaccinated, be hones