CNN —  

Man, what a decade!

What’s that? it’s only been a year???

Over the past year, President Donald Trump has talked and talked and talked. He has talked at photo ops at the White House. He has talked at impromptu press conferences while abroad. He has talked at campaign event after campaign event.

And I have watched or read it all – poring over the transcripts to find the most, um, notable quotes. Below, we’ve gathered the best of the best – or worst of the worst, depending on your point of view – lines of 2019.


1. “I could be the most popular person in Europe. I could be – I could run for any office if I wanted to, but I don’t want to.” January 2 (Cabinet Meeting)

The President celebrated the new year with a 90+ minute Cabinet meeting – and cameras were rolling the entire time. He answered question after question as his Cabinet sat silently.

2. “President Obama fired him and, essentially, so did I. I want results.” January 2 (Cabinet Meeting)

Trump is talking about former Defense Secretary James Mattis, who resigned in protest in the wake of Trump’s decision to pull US troops out Syria. Trump didn’t “essentially” fire him. At all.

3. “We’re talking about sand and death. That’s what we’re talking about.” January 2 (Cabinet Meeting)

The President of the United States offers his thoughts on Syria.

4. “I had a meeting at the Pentagon with lots of generals – they were like from a movie, better looking than Tom Cruise and stronger – and I had more generals than I’ve ever seen.” January 2 (Cabinet Meeting)

This is so revealing. All of life is a casting call for Trump. These generals were good because they were good looking and strong. Even more than Tom Cruise!

5. “I said, this is the greatest room I’ve ever seen. I – I saw more computer boards than, I think, that they make today.” January 2 (Cabinet Meeting)

“Computer boards.”

6. “I’m a professional at technology.” January 10 (South Lawn)

“Computer boards.”

7. “When during the campaign I would say, ‘Mexico’s going to pay for it,’ obviously I never said this and I never meant they’re going to write out a check.” January 10 (South Lawn)

This is a clear-as-day attempt to rewrite history by Trump during an impromptu news conference on his way to the southern border. He repeatedly said that Mexico would need to make a distinct $5 billion or $10 billion payment to the United States for the wall. And when he asked crowds at his rallies in 2016 who was going to pay for the wall, they shouted back “Mexico!” not “Mexico by way of theoretical gains we will make as a result of a restructured international trade deal!” I mean, come on.

8. “The buck stops with everybody.” January 10 (South Lawn)

Is that how that goes? The buck stops with everybody? (Remember: Trump hardly ever takes the blame for anything – especially the things that are his fault.)

9. “Well, I haven’t actually left the White House in months.” January 15 (Jeanine Pirro interview)

He had, actually. Lots of times. Hell, he was in McAllen, Texas, two days before he said this.

10. “I would, I don’t with care. I mean, I had a conversation like every president does. You sit with the president of various countries. I do it with all countries.” January 15 (Pirro interview)

Pirro asks Trump here whether he would be willing to “release the conversation that you had with President (Vladimir) Putin in Helsinki.” Here’s the thing: He can’t do that because, per The Washington Post, “there is no detailed record, even in classified files, of Trump’s face-to-face interactions with the Russian leader at five locations over the past two years.”

11. “I was obviously a good candidate. I won every debate. I won everything I did, and I won, and I won easily.”

When Trump said this, the 2016 election had ended 797 days ago.

12. “I guess they’re well over 30 million dollars now on this Russian collusion hoax, and everybody knows it’s a hoax. They’ve spent all this money. Nothing. No phone calls, no meetings, no nothing.” January 31 (Daily Caller interview)

Trump was not that far off-base on the price tag – $25 million had been spent at this point on special counsel Robert Mueller’s probe since it began in May 2017. Where he REALLY missed the fact boat was in claiming that the Mueller probe had produced zero tangible results. To date when Trump said this, the investigation had produced 199 criminal counts against 37 people and entities. Seven people had pleaded guilty and four had been sentenced to prison. One – Paul Manafort – had been convicted by a jury of his peers. That’s not nothing.

13. “I ran a great campaign. I ran a campaign that now they say was better than that gentleman’s [Andrew Jackson’s] campaign in the 1800s and we did a great job.” January 30 (Daily Caller interview)

They say that, do they? (For more on Andrew Jackson’s campaigns, read this!)

14. “I hope that she’s healthy, I hope she’s happy, and I hope she lives for a long time.” January 30 (Daily Caller interview)

Trump’s response here to a question on Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg following her illness was – dare I say it – presidential.

15. “The world is not doing well and we’re going great.” January 30 (Daily Caller interview)

Trump on the global situation: America :) Rest of world :(

16. “It looks like Elizabeth Warren has not caught on like they thought she would. She fell into a trap. It’s called the Pocahontas trap.” January 30 (Daily Caller interview)

“The Pocahontas Trap?” Is that a Disney flick?

17. “My intelligence people, if they said in fact that Iran is a wonderful kindergarten, I disagree with them a hundred percent.” February 3 (Super Bowl interview)

In this quote from Trump’s interview on CBS News before this year’s Super Bowl, Trump questioned his intelligence community’s assessment of Iran. Worth nothing: His “intelligence people” didn’t say Iran was a kindergarten, they simply said they believed the country to be in compliance with the nuclear deal Trump pulled out of in May 2018.

18. “And a lot of people, including me, thought soccer would probably never make it in this country, but it really is moving forward rapidly.” February 3 (Super Bowl interview)

Paging @MeninBlazers!!!! This was part of Trump’s answer to whether he would allow his son, Barron, to play football.

19. “Roger is somebody that I’ve always liked, but a lot of people like Roger. Some people probably don’t like Roger, but Roger Stone’s somebody I’ve always liked.” February 3 (Super Bowl interview)

“Roger is a stone-cold loser.” – Donald Trump in 2008

20. “Even the Mueller report said it had nothing to do with the campaign.” February 3 ( Super Bowl interview)

The Mueller report hadn’t come out yet.

21. “What a location. I’m in the real estate business, what a location.” February 3 (Super Bowl interview)

Donald Trump on North Korea. Yup!

22. “I love this state, and I love the people of this state. We’ve had a great romance together. You know that. Been a great romance.” February 11 (El Paso rally)

Donald Trump and Texas sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love then comes … ah, you know the rest.

23. “This is like the Academy Awards used to be. Used to be. They’ve gone down a long ways since they started hitting us a little bit, right?” February 11 (El Paso)

There’s so much here. First, Trump was comparing his rally to the Academy Awards because of the amount of press that was covering it. (But I thought he hated the media?) Then he’s saying that the Oscars, like everything else, aren’t as good as they used to be. And finally, he is attributing the decline of the Oscars to the fact that some of the actors have taken shots at him. He truly contains multitudes.

24. “So, someday, with all of us – this is all of us – and those hats are beautiful, by the way. Someday.” February 11 (El Paso)

This an unedited “sentence” from the President of the United States. Someday.

25. “Where do these people come from? Where do they come from? They go back home to Mommy. They get punished when they get home.” February 11 (El Paso)

When a protester interrupts a speech, that’s when Trump’s real bullying tendencies emerge.

26. “Is there any place that’s more fun to be than a Trump rally? Is there any place?” February 11 (El Paso)

Remember: Trump views himself as an entertainer first and everything else second. So his measure of success is whether people are having fun.

27. “But I really don’t like their policy of taking away your car, of taking away your airplane flights, of, ‘Let’s hop a train to California,’ of … ‘You’re not allowed to own cows anymore.’” February 11 (El Paso)

The “Green New Deal” to which Trump is referring had been introduced into Congress the week before by, among others, New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. You can bet Trump is going to keep making it a major talking point in his effort to paint Democrats as totally out of touch with the average person in 2020.

28. “The fact is that the real collusion was between Hillary and the Democrats and the other side with Russia. That’s where the collusion is.” February 11 (El Paso)

Trump says this a lot. It’s based on a theory that the entire Mueller probe began because of an anti-Trump dossier produced by former British spy Christopher Steele and funded by the Democratic National Committee and the Clinton campaign. But we know for a fact that’s not why the probe started; it started because George Papadopoulos told an Australian diplomat in Britain that he knew the Russians had dirt on Clinton. Read more about all of it here.

29. “Some of the most dishonest people in media are the so-called ‘fact-checkers.’” February 11 (El Paso)

Oh, that is rich. Important note: Donald Trump made over 8,000 false or misleading claims in his first two years in office, according to The Washington Post’s Fact Checker. By October 2019, that number had risen to 13,435.

30. “Pretty soon we’re going to be saying keep America great. Keep America great.” February 11 (El Paso)

Trump has already said, repeatedly, that “Keep America Great” is his preferred 2020 slogan. Also, he’s been running for a second term since the day he won in 2016.

31. “How about the word ‘caravan?’ Caravan? I think that was one of mine.” February 11 (El Paso)

In which Donald Trump claims to have invented the word “caravan.”

32. “By the way, there is nothing better than a good old-fashioned German shepherd.” February 11 (El Paso)

Yup. He said this.

33. “I wouldn’t mind having one, honestly, but I don’t have any time. I don’t have – how would I look walking a dog on the White House lawn?” February 11 (El Paso)

Words fail.

34. “Yeah, Obama had a dog. You’re right. Both parties should come together to finally create a safe and lawful system of immigration.” February 11 (El Paso)

This is not edited. He really said these sentences back-to-back.

35. “We’re going to do it one way or the other. We have to do it – not because it was a campaign promise, which it is.” February 15 (Emergency wall declaration)

So, the President was declaring a national emergency on the southern US border because “we have to do it,” not because he said we had to do it on the campaign trail. But ask yourself this: If it was such an emergency, why did Trump wait more than two years into his term to declare it one?

36. “They say walls don’t work. Walls work 100%.” February 15 (Emergency wall declaration)

No one has ever penetrated a wall. Can’t happen. It’s 1,000 feet high and made of sheer ice! Wait

37. “I was a little new to the job, a little new to the profession, and we had a little disappointment for the first year and a half. People that should have stepped up did not step up. They didn’t step up, and they should have.” February 15 (Emergency wall declaration)

Important thing to always remember about Trump: Nothing is ever his fault. He is always the undeserving victim of other peoples’ malice, incompetence or both.

38. “Go ahead, ABC – not NBC. I like ABC a little bit more, not much. Come on, ABC – not much, pretty close.” February 15 (Emergency wall declaration)

(Trump while taking questions). ABC > NBC. But, IT’S CLOSE!

39. “But, you know, I never did politics before. Now I do politics.” February 15 (Emergency wall declaration)

“Now I do politics.” – The President of the United States

40. “I believe he would have gone to war with North Korea. I think he was ready to go to war. In fact, he told me he was so close to starting a big war with North Korea.” February 15 (Emergency wall declaration)

Wait, so former President Barack Obama told Trump he was planning a “big” war against North Korea? Interesting! I am sure that conversation happened exactly as Trump said it did!

41. [Trump comes out on stage, claps, and then bear-hugs an American flag] March 2 (CPAC)

Not a line, but this happened during Trump’s two-hour-long speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference.

42. “But I found some very old laws from when our country was rich – really rich. The old tariff laws – we had to dust them off; you could hardly see, they were so dusty.” March 2 (CPAC)

Ah, those rich – and dusty – days. Man, they were great. Tough on the allergies. But great.

43. “You know I’m totally off-script right now. And this is how I got elected, by being off-script. True.” March 2 (CPAC)

It IS true. Voters seemed to believe that Trump’s often rambling, hard-to-understand speeches.

44. “When the wind stops blowing, that’s the end of your electric. Let’s hurry up. ‘Darling’ – ‘Darling, is the wind blowing today? I’d like to watch television, darling.’” March 2 (CPAC)

“When the wind stop blowing, that’s the end of your electric.” – The President of the United States. (Also, Trump is mocking the “Green New Deal” here.)

45. “I won’t use a certain words because it’s not politically – but everybody knows the word I’d love to use. Should I use it? I won’t do it.” March 2 (CPAC)

Trump has even turned his infamous love for cursing into some sort of anti-elites mantra. Amazing.

46. “If you tell a joke, if you’re sarcastic, if you’re having fun with the audience, if you’re on live television with millions of people and 25,000 people in an arena, and if you say something like, ‘Russia, please, if you can, get us Hillary Clinton’s emails. Please, Russia, please.’” March 2 (CPAC)

HA HA HA … oh wait, on the same day Trump “jokingly” asked the Russians to get Hillary Clinton’s deleted emails, the Russians began a cybercampaign to get Hillary Clinton’s deleted emails.

47. “And unfortunately, you put the wrong people in a couple of positions, and they leave people for a long time that shouldn’t be there. And, all of a sudden, they’re trying to take you out with bullshit. OK? With bullshit.” March 2 (CPAC)

I assume Trump is referring to then-Attorney General Jeff Sessions recusing himself from the Russia probe. Or maybe former FBI Director James Comey for launching the probe. Or deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein for forming a special counsel to look into it. Maybe all of the above. Either way: It’s total bullshit!

48. “I have one of the great inventions in history. It’s called TiVo. I think it’s actually better than television, because television is practically useless without TiVo, right?” March 2 (CPAC)

Agreed. How else does anyone watch “Succession?” (Also, Trump may have gotten a *little* off-topic during his CPAC speech.)

49. “Number one, I’m in love, and you’re in love. We’re all in love together.” March 2 (CPAC)

Trump is talking about why he is speaking for so long and so far off-script. It’s because of love, obviously.

50. “I have pretty good vision. At least for my age, I have good vision. I guess for my age, I have great vision.” March 2 (CPAC)

From good to great in two sentences: The life of Donald Trump.

51. “And I said, ‘Bring the cameras. I’m going to make a movie. This is the most incredible thing.’” March 2 (CPAC)

Trump was in Iraq to meet with generals. His first thought? Bring in the cameras. Let’s make a movie.

52. “I did 32 big, fat rallies. And those rallies brought us to a tremendous Senate victory so that we can continue onward with our judges and our approvals.” March 2 (CPAC)

So, Trump is saying he deserves credit for the 2018 midterm election! The same 2018 election in which Republicans suffered a near-total loss: Democrats made a net gain of 39 seats in the House, picked up 7 governor’s mansions and hundreds of seats in state legislatures across the country.

Republicans DID win the Senate, and those 32 “big, fat rallies” probably helped – but with 26 Democratic seats up for reelection and only nine for Republicans, the 2018 Senate map was one that Republicans should have capitalized on – not just survived.

53. “By the way, I’m watching those doors. Not one person has left, and I’ve been up here a long time. … But not one person. So if you hear tomorrow, when they read ‘people left’ – nobody left early. There hasn’t been one person that’s left.” March 2 (CPAC)

He is totally and completely obsessed with crowds. And crowds staying. And loving him. This feels like a good place to end the CPAC portion of our tour.

54. “When you mentioned Rush or Mark – Mark Levin, or Steve Doocy, and Ainsley in the morning, and Brian and Laura, Jesse, Jeanine – I hope Jeanine’s back soon.” March 27 (Sean Hannity call)

An unintentionally revealing moment in which Trump lists a slew of (mainly) Fox News hosts and refers to them by their first names. Which proves just how much TV – and Fox in particular – he watches. Also, Jeanine Pirro, who Trump hopes is “back soon” had been suspended for questioning the patriotism of Minnesota Rep. Ilhan Omar (D), who is Muslim.

55. “Nobody has been tougher, nobody, on Russia than me. And everybody – my enemies say that, when they are reasonable enemies, when they are fair.” March 27 (Sean Hannity call)

Not true! (Also, Trump non-sequitur-ed to this “Russia line” DIRECTLY after praising a bunch of Fox News people. The mind works in mysterious ways!

56. “Look at the fact that we would have been powered by wind, which wouldn’t have worked, by the way, because it only blows sometimes, and lots of problems come about.” March 27 (Sean Hannity call)

So, if Trump wasn’t president, we would be running on wind power right now? Also, he’s right – the wind does “only blow sometimes.”

57. “Hillary wouldn’t let you drill, there would be no oil, there would be no gas, there wouldn’t be anything to compete.” March 27 (Sean Hannity call)

So, if Hillary Clinton was president right now, we’d have no oil or gas. Just wind. And you know the wind “only blows sometimes.”

58. Can you imagine? Sleepy Joe? Crazy Bernie.” April 27 (Green Bay rally)

Why did Trump suddenly out of nowhere start talking about his potential 2020 opponents? Oh, I have no idea. But the crowd LOVED it.

59. “I think Pocahontas, she’s finished, she’s out. She’s gone. No, when it was found that I had more Indian blood in me than she did.” April 27 (Green Bay rally)

Trump is referring to Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren with this taunt. And, yes, the crowd LOVED it.

60. “But can you imagine any of these people up here doing what I’m doing? They’d be 200 people show up if they were president. If they were president, nobody would show up.” April 27 (Green Bay rally)

It’s fascinating that Trump understands the job of being president as getting lots of people to show up to rallies.

61. “The USMCA, like the song ‘YMCA,’ right?” April 27 (Green Bay rally)

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States! Whether on “The Apprentice” or pushing his NAFTA replacement, you have to admit Trump has a flair for salesmanship.

62. “Can you believe I’m a politician? I can’t even.” April 27 (Green Bay rally)

Honestly, same.

63. “In Michigan, they gave me an award six years, seven years ago, I had no idea. It was the Man of the Year in Michigan.” April 27 (Green Bay rally)

There’s no evidence Trump was ever named “Man of the Year” in Michigan.

64. “I have to tell you, that runway is like an ice-skating rink. And the first step I said, you know this sucker is slippery. I think it was put in by the Democrats. I don’t know, whoever the hell got that thing.” May 8 (Panama City rally)

He’s talking about the ramp up to the stage. Must have been put in by the Democrats.

65. “You got hit with a little hurricane called Michael. That was not a nice hurricane, I can tell you that, but it’s going well and I’m thrilled to be here with really truly incredible men and women of the Florida panhandle.” May 8 (Panama City rally)

You got hammered with a hurricane. But that’s over now. And I am here now. Like, that’s literally what he is saying here.

66. “And I think that the people of Puerto Rico are very grateful to Donald Trump for what we’ve done for them.” May 8 (Panama City rally)

“That’s Puerto Rico and they don’t like me.” – Donald Trump, literally 10 seconds before he said this.

67. “They call themselves ‘the elite.’ Did you ever see the elite? This is the elite. They’re not elite. You’re elite.” May 8 (Panama City rally)

This is a classic Trump pitch – and it’s at the core of his appeal: Trump and other “regular” people are in a cultural war against “elites” in government, media and everywhere else.

What’s that? You’re right! It is strange that a billionaire who never lived outside of New York City before he moved to the White House has successfully become the voice of the common man.

68. “I say, ‘You have better houses. So do I. You have better boats. You have better every – you have better everything. You’re smarter.’ You know? I say, ‘No, we’re the elite.’ So let’s let them be the elite, but we’re the super-elite.” May 8 (Panama City rally)

The super elite: The elite, but with bigger houses. And boats.

69. “We have a young man, Buttigieg – Boot-edge-edge. They say, ‘Edge-edge.’ He’s got a great chance, doesn’t he? He’ll be great. He’ll be great. Representing us against President Xi of China. That’ll be great. That’ll be great. I want to be in that room. I want to watch that one.” May 8 (Panama City rally)

Remember that Trump’s natural state is as a bully. it’s where he’s best and most comfortable.

70. “The report comes back. It’s perfect. It’s beautiful. There’s no collusion. Nobody even talks about collusion.” May 8 (Panama City rally)

The Mueller Report, which was released on April 18, did not establish collusion or coordination between Trump’s campaign and the Russians. But it also made clear that there were a number of instances in which Trump looked to have engaged in obstructive behavior. So…

71. “They want to knock down all buildings in Manhattan and rebuild them without windows.” May 20 (Pennsylvania rally)

Um no, “they” don’t. What New York City has proposed is retrofitting buildings of 25,000 square feet or more to make them more energy efficient.

72. “Our country is full. We don’t want people coming up here. Our country is full. We want Mexico to stop. We want all of them to stop. Our country is packed to the gills. We don’t want them coming up.” May 20 (Pennsylvania rally)

This probably goes without saying but: Our country is not “full” (and it’s not even clear what that would look like). Also: There’s a very big difference between saying that we don’t want any more immigrants to this country and saying we can’t fit any more immigrants in this country.

73. What’s going on with Fox by the way? What’s going on there? They’re putting more Democrats on than you have Republicans. There’s strange is going on at Fox. Something every strange.” May 20 (Pennsylvania rally)

By “strange” Trump means “Fox isn’t kowtowing to me and my policies at all times.” (For more on the Trump-Fox News tension, watch this.)

74. “They were spying on our campaign. I’ll tell you what, if that ever happened to the other side this thing would have been over two years ago and you know it would have been treason. They would have called it treason and that’s what it is.” May 20 (Pennsylvania rally)

Trump is referring to the surveillance of a former aide – Carter Page – as part of the FBI’s counterintelligence probe into possible Russian interference in the 2016 election. And this “spying” was totally lawful – approved by a FISA court and re-approved three times. Just saying.

75. “I had such an easy life. People say, I had such an easy life. Who the hell knew it was going to be this difficult, but I love it.” May 20 (Pennsylvania rally)

Wait, being president is hard? I had never thought of that!

76. “And don’t forget Biden deserted you. He’s not from Pennsylvania. I guess he was born here, but he left you folks. He left you for another state.” May 20 (Pennsylvania rally)

Biden left his home state of Pennsylvania when he was 10 years old! Not really sure that counts as having “deserted” the people of Pennsylvania, though.

77. “And I said: ‘Well, I didn’t know she was nasty.’ I wasn’t referring to she’s nasty. I said she was nasty about me.” June 4 (Piers Morgan interview)

This is Trump trying to clear up a comment he made about the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle. Informed of Markle’s past comments about him by The Sun, Trump said this: “I didn’t know that. What can I say? I didn’t know that she was nasty.” What Trump is trying to say is that he meant what Markle said about him was “nasty” but that she herself wasn’t (or isn’t) “nasty.” Got it? That’s one of us.

78. “In London you have stabbings all over. I read an article where everybody’s being stabbed. They said your hospital is a sea of blood all over the floors.” June 4 (Piers Morgan interview)

Totally responsible rhetoric here from the President of the United States! Very normal! (Side note: I couldn’t find the article Trump read that said “everybody’s being stabbed.”)

79. “Here’s the thing. I’m not even sure – first of all, I didn’t know anything about it, but I’m not even sure it happened.” June 4 (Piers Morgan interview)

Trump is talking here about the request made by someone in the White House military office to have the USS John S. McCain moved out of the President’s sight during his recent visit to Japan. He’s “not even sure it happened” which is weird because the Navy released a statement over the weekend saying this: “A request was made to the US Navy to minimize the visibility of USS John S. McCain, however, all ships remained in their normal configuration during the President’s visit.”

80. “I think I can say I really got to know her because I sat with her many times. And we had automatic chemistry. You understand that feeling.” June 6 (Ingraham interview in Normandy)

Trump kicked off the interview by touting his “automatic chemistry” with Queen Elizabeth II. Which, maybe?!

81. “This is one of the true, in terms of war, in terms of, probably you can also say, in terms of peace, because this led to something very special.” June 6 (Ingraham interview in Normandy)

A real, unedited sentence from the President of the United States.

82. “I think [Pelosi is] a disgrace. I actually don’t think she’s a talented person. I’ve tried to be nice to her because I would have liked to have gotten some deals done. She’s incapable of doing deals. She’s a nasty, vindictive, horrible person.” June 6 (Ingraham interview in Normandy)

… said the President of the United States about the speaker of the US House while in a foreign country – and with thousands of grave markers in the background of his TV shot.

83. “We have Pelosi, we have Crying Chuck Schumer, who’s a disaster, by the way. He’s a total political, you know, jerk.” June 6 (Ingraham interview in Normandy)

“If I made any statement about anybody it would be like a big headline, why would he do that when he’s overseas?” – Donald Trump, literally two minutes before saying this.

84. “There are those that say they have never seen the Queen have a better time, a more animated time.” June 6 (Ingraham interview in Normandy)

In which Trump suggests that the Queen of England has never had a better time – ever – than she did hanging out with him over the past few days.

85. “Now, people haven’t used tariffs, but tariffs are a beautiful thing when you’re the piggy bank, when you have all the money.” June 10 (CNBC phone call)

In sum: Tariffs are beautiful. But only when you are a piggy bank. And have “all the money.”

86. “We are not fools anymore. We are not the foolish country that does so badly.” June 10 (CNBC phone call)

Trump 2020 slogan: Won’t get fooled again!

87. This country is allowing this French wine which is great, we have great wine, too, allowing it to come in for nothing. It is not fair. And you know what, it’s not fair. We’ll do something about it.” June 10 (CNBC phone call)

French wine is great.

88. “We are – if you look at China, China, as great as they are and they are great, they are near the capability of our geniuses in Silicon Valley that walk around in undershirts and they were not $2 billion a piece.” June 10 (CNBC phone call)

Wait, people walk around in $2 billion undershirts? Or they don’t? Either way – our geniuses are better than China’s geniuses, I guess?

89. “I mean, look, Joe never got more than 1%, except Obama took him off the trash heap, and now it looks like he’s failing.” June 11 (South Lawn)

Be best.

90. “I have to tell you, he’s a different guy. He looks different than he used to. He acts different than he used to. He’s even slower than he used to be.” June 11 (South Lawn)

That dog whistle you hear is the President of the United States trying to put questions about Biden’s age’s (he was 76) and health into peoples’ minds during an impromptu press conference.

91. “The crime was by the Democrats, folks. They’ve committed, in my opinion, many crimes.” June 11 (South Lawn)

In any normal presidency, this would be a news story for a week. The President of the United States accusing the opposition party of committing “many crimes”!??! Without evidence, to boot! But because Trump says things like this – again, with zero evidence – all the time, it barely causes a ripple.

92. “I think [Biden is] the weakest, mentally. And I like running against people that are weak, mentally.” June 11 (South Lawn)

[dog whistle]

93. “The farmers are my best friend.” June 11 (South Lawn)

So, Trump says the farmers are his best friend. But do the farmers say the same about him? Or do they have, like, another, other best friend Trump doesn’t even know about? On a related note: We can all agree the farmer and the cowman should be friends.

94. “But I just received a beautiful letter from Kim Jong Un. I can’t show you the letter, obviously, but it was a very personal, very warm, very nice letter.” June 11 (South Lawn)

Me in 8th grade: “I DO SO have a girlfriend. She’s a model and she totally loves me. You can’t meet her. She lives in Montana. She writes me every day. But the letters are private.”

95. “It was Jackie O., and that’s good, but we have our own Jackie O. today. It’s called Melania. We’ll call it Melania T.” June 14 (Fox & Friends)

Melania T. has a nice ring to it! Trump was talking, by the way, about his decision to redo Air Force One because he didn’t like the “baby blue” color picked by First Lady Jackie Kennedy.

He said this during a rambling 50-minute phone call with Fox & Friends on the morning of his 73rd birthday. Runner-up best line from that interview? “I don’t have time to celebrate.”

96. “I just was given a meeting with my pollster who – I, frankly, don’t even believe in pollsters, if you want to know the truth. You just run a campaign and whatever it is, it is.” June 16 (ABC George Stephanopoulos interview)

Follow this logic: Trump just came from a meeting with his pollster but he doesn’t even believe in pollsters. So – how, why, uh, what? Also, does anyone else remember that Trump would start almost every campaign rally during the 2016 primary by going through the most recent polls where he was ahead? Yeah, me too.

97. “But I just had a meeting with somebody that’s a pollster, and I’m winning everywhere.” June 16 (ABC interview)

OK. So, Point 1: Trump doesn’t believe in pollsters. Point 2: He just met with a pollster and he is “winning everywhere.” THIS ALL MAKES SENSE TO ME!!!!

98. “I don’t – there’s nothing wrong with listening. If somebody called from a country, Norway, ‘We have information on your opponent,’ oh, I think I’d want to hear it.” June 16 (ABC interview)

Truly stunning stuff here. What Trump, who is, reminder, the President of the United States, seems to fail to grasp is that a foreign county would almost certainly have a motive for passing along negative information about Trump’s opponent.

Think back to what we know about Russian interference in the 2016 election. They sought to interfere to help Trump and hurt Hillary Clinton because they thought Trump would be better for their interests. Trump’s blindness – willful or otherwise – that other countries would pass along this information as part of an attempt to manipulate an American election to produce their desired results is scary – especially when you consider that we have another national election coming.

99. “People don’t understand tariffs, but I understand them. And I also understand the power of tariffs.” June 16 (ABC interview)

This is not how tariffs work: A fact check of Trump’s misinformation on trade (among other things)

100. “I put one out this morning. And as soon as I pressed the button, they said, ‘We have breaking news.’ Every network, every station. ‘We have breaking news.’ They read my tweet. Why is that bad?” June 16 (ABC interview)

This explanation is the best one I’ve seen about why Trump uses Twitter so much. He loves to be able to drive news cycles – even if the news cycle is unfavorable to him. The power to do it is intoxicating to him – someone who spent his whole life trying to get coverage for himself from what he believed to be a biased media. Now, he can make the news with a single tweet. And he loves it.

101. “Nobody’s ever been treated badly like me.” June 16 (ABC interview)

Nobody? Ever? [Consults first page of any history book ever.]

102. “Although they do say Abraham Lincoln was treated really badly. I must say that’s the one. If you can believe it, Abraham Lincoln was treated supposedly very badly.” June 16 (ABC interview)

This is accurate – especially if your definition of “treated supposedly very badly” is “was assassinated.”

103. “George, the report said no collusion.” June 16 (ABC interview)

From the report: “We understood coordination to require an agreement – tacit or express – between the Trump Campaign and the Russian government on election interference. That requires more than the two parties taking actions that were informed by or responsive to the other’s actions or interests. We applied the term coordination in that sense when stating in the report that the investigation did not establish that the Trump Campaign coordinated with the Russian government in its election interference activities.”

104. “When you will see my financial statement, at some point I assume it’s going to be released, you’ll be very impressed by the job I’ve done. Much, much bigger, much, much better than anybody.” June 16 (ABC interview)

Remember: Trump is the only post-Watergate president not to release a single page of his past tax returns.

105. “If you’re going to cough, please leave the room. You just can’t, you just can’t cough. Boy, oh boy. OK, do you want to do that a little differently than uhh-” June 16 (ABC interview)

White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney coughed during Trump’s answer about his “fantastic financial statement.” Two thoughts: 1) Trump is a noted germophobe and 2) He is effectively trying to executive produce ABC’s interview of him.

106. “I think that Kim Jong Un – and you’ve heard many bad things about him, but you’ve heard from me different things.” June 16 (ABC interview)

This seems to suggest that Trump doesn’t believe Kim is a bad guy – and that many of the reports of the atrocities by Kim are, uh, “fake news?”

107. “[Kim] could have almost an instantaneously wealthy behemoth.” June 16 (ABC interview)

My college jazz fusion band was named “Instantaneously Wealthy Behemoth.”

108. “One person has a higher percentage than your favorite president, Donald Trump. Do you know who that president is? He’s got a higher percentage than me and it’s devastating. His name is George Washington.” June 18 (Trump Orlando kickoff rally)

First, Trump is saying his record of appointing federal judges is behind only that of America’s first president. Second: “Your favorite president, Donald Trump.”

109. “Our political opponents look down with hatred on our values and with utter disdain for the people whose lives they want to run. That’s the way they’ve been doing it.” June 18 (Trump Orlando kickoff rally)

If you are looking for an encapsulation of why Trump won in 2016 – and why he could win again in 2020 – this is it. This is Trump at his anti-elite, populist best – railing against a system that he argues hates and disdains the average person.

110. “A vote for any Democrat in 2020 is a vote for the rise of radical socialism, and the destruction of the American dream.” June 18 (Trump Orlando kickoff rally)

Pretty low-stakes then, right?

111. “We will lay the foundation for landing American astronauts on the surface of Mars.” June 18 (Trump Orlando kickoff rally)

Like I just said: Mars Awaits!

112. “Well, it was a very nice letter, and it was actually a happy birthday letter if you want to know the truth, it was my birthday. And he sent me a beautiful letter, happy birthday, which was nice.” June 24 (The Hill interview)

North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un is no dummy. He knows that the way to Trump’s heart is through flattery and obsequiousness. Hence, a “beautiful” birthday card.

113. “But there is something going on in that brain of his.” June 24 (The Hill interview)

Zero subtlety from Trump here when it comes to suggesting that Biden has something wrong with him.

114. “I took over Obama’s policy. It was a policy of separation. I’m the one that put them together.” June 24 (The Hill interview)

OK, so here’s what is happening: Trump is asked about the deplorable conditions for children in some of the detention facilities along the border. He quickly blamed former President Barack Obama and then pivoted to his stump speech about the lowest unemployment rates for lots of minority groups. Empathy, thy name is not Donald Trump.

115. “I’ll say it with great respect, No. 1, she’s not my type.” June 24 (The Hill interview)

Of all the offensive and out-of-touch things Trump has said since he became a candidate for president in 2015, this has to be in the top five. Trump was responding to allegations made by advice columnist E. Jean Carroll that he raped her in a dressing room at Bergdorf’s in the late 1990s. Trump has denied the incident occurred, saying he “never met this person.” What the President is saying in this quote is that he would never rape someone like her because she isn’t his type. Sit with that for a minute.

116. “You fly over and you say, ‘Does it ever stop?’ It’s big. It’s beautiful. It’s clean.” July 1 (Japan press conference)

Japan: It’s nonstop. It’s big. It’s beautiful. And clean! This is the stuff of travel brochures (do those even exist anymore?)

117. “I think Canada is happy, but they’re not happy like we’re happy, but they’re very happy.” July 1 (Japan press conference)

“Canada: Not happy like the US is happy” has potential as a future slogan for our neighbors to the north. Trump said this during a press conference in Osaka, Japan, on Canada Day.

118. “So we spend a lot of time with a lot of countries. We do business with a lot of them. Australia is an example.” July 1 (Japan press conference)

“Richard Gere’s a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who’s a hero. The music he’s created over the years, I don’t really listen to it, but the fact that he’s making it, I respect that.” – Hansel

119. “Okay, Jimmy Carter – look, he was a nice man. He was a terrible president.” July 1 (Japan press conference)

Modern day presidential.”

120. “We have the cleanest water we’ve ever had. We have the cleanest air. You saw the reports come out recently. We have the cleanest air we’ve ever had.” July 1 (Japan press conference)

[narrator voice] We don’t.

121. “You have a lot of strategies. I have five different strategies. I could change any moment.” July 1 (Japan press conference)


122. “We can have a lot of fun tonight. I have nothing to do. Nothing. Nothing.” July 17 (North Carolina rally)

… one of the most powerful world leaders said this at the outset of a campaign rally in North Carolina.

123. “That was one hell of a night. I think it was maybe, you know, there are those that say one of the most extraordinary and exciting evenings in the history of television and the history of anything.” July 17 (North Carolina rally)

Donald Trump on his election night: “One of the most extraordinary and exciting evenings in the history of television and the history of anything.” The history of anything!!

124. “But Cortez, somebody said that’s not her name, it’s – they said, ‘That’s not her name, sir.’ I said, ‘No, no. I don’t have time to go with three different names. We’ll call her Cortez. Too much time, takes too much time.’” July 17 (North Carolina rally)

The New York congresswoman’s full name is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. I don’t know why Trump is shortening it to just Cortez in front of his most rabid supporters. What could it be??? (Cough.)

125. “That’s why I say, hey, if they don’t like it, let them leave. Let them leave. Let them leave.” July 17 (North Carolina rally)

To be clear: This is NOT the original message that Trump had for Omar, Pressley, Ocasio-Cortez and Rep. Rashida Tlaib (Michigan). Here’s what he tweeted on Sunday: “So interesting to see ‘Progressive’ Democrat Congresswomen, who originally came from countries whose governments are a complete and total catastrophe, the worst, most corrupt and inept anywhere in the world (if they even have a functioning government at all), now loudly and viciously telling the people of the United States, the greatest and most powerful Nation on earth, how our government is to be run. Why don’t they go back and help fix the totally broken and crime infested places from which they came.”

126. “With conducting brutal, medieval style killings, you know what medieval style is? OK. Little pieces. Little pieces. Little pieces, medieval style including the dismemberment of their victims and they enjoyed every minute of it.” July 17 (North Carolina rally)

Uh, OK. (Trump is talking about MS-13 here.)

127. “He checked her blood and found out that many, many, many, many, many, many years ago, there could have been somebody and he could have been Indian. And then the Indians got together and they said, we don’t want her.” July 17 (North Carolina rally)

Elizabeth Warren’s attempt to clear up whether she was of Native American heritage was, slightly, more complicated than Trump’s description.

128. “I have guys. I have wonderful friends. New York developers, tough guys, smart guys, they’re rich. They’re this, that. I have middle of the road. I have poor. I have everybody.” July 17 (North Carolina rally)

The President of the United States would like you to know he has “poor” friends, ladies and gentlemen.

129. “We had 14 seasons, think of that. The Apprentice. I proudly signed four bipartisan human trafficking laws securing $400 million to support victims of human trafficking.” July 17 (North Carolina rally)

These were two sentences that the President said back-to-back. And, no, I have no idea what he believed the connection to be – or if he believed there to be one.

130. “So, I wasn’t going to watch at all, and then I started thinking about it, and then I watched a little bit at the very beginning and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. So, I ended up watching more than I wanted to.” July 25 (Hannity phone call)

I laughed out loud when I read this quote about former special counsel Robert Mueller’s testimony on Capitol Hill. Not kidding.

131. “It was sort of good television.” July 25 (Hannity phone call)

Remember that Trump, at root, is a TV producer. His lens on the world is cable TV.

132. “Every time, you’ve never seen an empty seat. We go into these massive arenas and they are packed and there’s thousands of people outside. You’ve never seen an empty seat.” July 25 (Hannity phone call)

Crowd size has long been Trump’s stand-in for popularity. If 8,000 people in North Carolina turn out to see his rally, how can he be unpopular in all of these “fake” polls? The logic flaw here, of course, is large enough to fly a 747 through.

133. “Deplorable was not a good day for Hillary. Crooked Hillary. She is a crooked one. Crooked.” August 1 (Cincinnati rally)

Yes, of course, the crowd began chanting “Lock her up!” after Trump said this. On a related note, the 2016 election ended 997 days before he said this.

134. “If a windmill is within two miles of your house, your house is practically worthless.” August 1 (Cincinnati rally)

Fun fact about Donald Trump: He really hates windmills. I did a whole video about it! It’s one of the things he is most consistent about, actually. Remember this one? “If you have a windmill anywhere near your house, congratulations, your house just went down 75% in value. And they say the noise causes cancer.”

135. “We will be ending the AIDS epidemic shortly in America and curing childhood cancer very shortly.” August 1 (Cincinnati rally)

Well, this is good news!

136. “Unlike those big windmills that destroy everybody’s property value, kill all the birds.” August 13 (Pennsylvania speech)

Donald Trump vs. the windmill, part 1 billion.

137. “I was a good builder. I built good. I loved building.” August 13 (Pennsylvania speech)

I don’t really have much to add here.

138. “Don’t worry about the rain, umbrellas work very well, especially when they’re made in America.” August 13 (Pennsylvania speech)

Information for life!

139. “I love cranes. I love trucks of all types. Even when I was a little boy at four years old my mother would say, ‘You love trucks.’ ” August 13 (Pennsylvania speech)

“I love lamp.” – Brick Tamland

140. “I got sued on a thing called emoluments – emoluments. You ever hear the word – nobody ever heard of it before.” August 13 (Pennsylvania speech)

It’s in the Constitution. I mean, who’s ever heard of the Constitution, right?

141. “If [Democrats] got in, your fracking is gone, your coal is gone, you guys – I don’t know what the hell you’re going to do. You don’t want to make widgets, right? You don’t want to make – do you want to learn how to make a computer, little tiny piece of stuff? You put it with those big beautiful hands of yours, look.” August 13 (Pennsylvania speech)