CNN —  

Amid one of the most perilous moments of his presidency to date, President Donald Trump took questions – and monologued – on Wednesday afternoon at the United Nations General Assembly meeting.

As is often the case when Trump feels cornered, he lashed out at many of his favorite hobby horses – Democrats, the media and so on and so forth. And, as usual, he took major liberties with established facts surrounding the activities of both himself and former Vice President Joe Biden related to Ukraine.

I went through the transcript and pulled out the lines you need to see. They’re below.

1. “The meetings I had on up bilat or close were pretty staggering. I think we set a new record but you’ll have to check that out.”

Yes, the first thing Trump said was how he probably set a record for meetings with foreign officials at UNGA. And away we go!

2. “We have a tremendous trade deal with Japan. And that doesn’t get covered because you waste your time on nonsense.”

The “nonsense” to which Trump is referring is a transcript released by his White House of a phone call in which he very clearly pressures the Ukrainian president to look into debunked corruption allegations against the former vice president of the United States, who, by the by, is the frontrunner for the 2020 Democratic nomination.

3. “I think we’ll make this little announcement to you because, important, you know, the so-called whistleblower, the one that didn’t have any first-class or first-rate or second-tier information, from what I understand, you’ll have to figure that out for yourself.”

Er, what? What Trump was going for – I think – is to make the point that the whistleblower who raise the issue did not have first-hand knowledge of, among other things, the President’s call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. Worth noting here that while that’s true, the whistleblower’s description of the call between the two men – as relayed in the complaint – is a very accurate depiction of what went on, according to the transcript of the call released Wednesday.

4. “I fully support transparency on the so-called whistleblower information even though it was supposedly second-hand information, which is sort of interesting. And other things have come out about the whistleblower that are also maybe even more interesting.”

What other things? Trump doesn’t say! Also, remember that Trump has described the whistleblower as “partisan” although he also had acknowledged he didn’t know who the whistleblower is.

5. “But also insist on transparency from Joe Biden and his son Hunter on the millions of dollars that have been quickly and easily taken out of Ukraine and China. Millions of dollars, millions and millions and dollars taken out very rapidly while he was vice president. And I think they should have transparency for that.”

Four Pinocchios. There is no evidence of wrongdoing by either Joe or Hunter Biden.

6. “It’s all a hoax, folks. It’s all a big hoax.”

“I will say that we do a lot for Ukraine. We spend a lot of effort and a lot of time. Much more than the European countries are doing and they should be helping you more than they are. … There’s a lot of talk about Biden’s son, that Biden stopped the prosecution and a lot of people want to find out about that so whatever you can do with the Attorney General would be great. Biden went around bragging that he stopped the prosecution so if you can look into it … It sounds horrible to me.” – Donald Trump to Zelensky, according to a White House transcript of their phone conversation

7. “I’ve been up from early in the morning until late in the evening.”

Ahem.

8. “CNN reported that senators Robert Menendez, Richard Durbin, and Patrick Leahy wrote a letter to Ukraine’s prosecutor general expressing concern at the closing of four investigations they said were critical. In the letter they implied that their support for US assistance to Ukraine was at stake and that if they didn’t do the right thing, they wouldn’t get any assistance. See, doesn’t that sound familiar? Doesn’t that sound familiar?”

Let me quote CNN’s Abby Phillip on this: “I”m going to repeat this, because it’s very important: What Trump is talking about right now … accusing Senators of threatening Ukraine … is WILDLY misleading. Senators questioned why Ukraine stopped cooperating with a lawful US investigation into HIS former campaign manager.”

The letter in question is here – so you can read it yourself.

9. “So Senator Chris Murphy literally threatened the president of Ukraine that if he doesn’t do things right, they won’t have Democrats’ support in Congress. So you can look all of this up.”

I did look it up! What happened is this: Murphy traveled to Kiev earlier this month with Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wisconsin). They met with Zelensky and, according to Murphy, he made clear that the Ukrainian government should not involve itself in American elections. “[Zelensky] wasn’t surprised that I brought it up … his response was pretty simple: that they have no intention of getting involved in an American election,” Murphy said of the meeting.

10. “We’re going to have much bigger trade deals with a lot of countries that have a opportunity to come and they all want to do business with the United States, especially now.”

Bigger is always better.

11. “And the Democrats did this hoax during the United Nations week. It was perfect. Because this way it takes away from these tremendous achievements that we are taking care of doing, that we’re involved in, in New York City at the United Nations.”

To be clear: The reason we know if the existence of the whistleblower complaint is because Michael Atkinson, the intelligence community inspector general, alerted the relevant congressional committees to it. Know who appointed Atkinson to his role? I’ll give you one guess. Yup! Donald Trump. In 2018!

12. “Impeachment for that? When you have a wonderful meeting or you have a wonderful phone conversation?”

“I will say that we do a lot for Ukraine. We spend a lot of effort and a lot of time. Much more than the European countries are doing and they should be helping you more than they are. …There’s a lot of talk about Biden’s son, that Biden stopped the prosecution and a lot of people want to find out about that so whatever you can do with the Attorney General would be great. Biden went around bragging that he stopped the prosecution so if you can look into it … It sounds horrible to me.” – Donald Trump to Zelensky

13. “So many leaders came up to me today and they said, ‘sir, what you go through no president has ever gone through, and it’s so bad for your country.’”

The chances that this actually happened are very small. And if it did happen, it’s because of Trump’s known love of being told how great and right he is.

14. “The wall is being built, by the way. It got little coverage.”

[narrator] It’s not.

15. “And we are building an incredible wall. It’s going to number one.”

Everyone will be telling the wall “You’re number one!”

16. “It’s going to be virtually impossible to cross unless you are one hell of a mountain climber.”

Paging Alex Honnold!

17. “They’ve – we had people going out, and real climbers, telling us which is the toughest to climb. But these are anti-climb panels, very tough to get across.”

There is no evidence that the Trump administration had “real climbers” test their prototype border walls.

18. “And the wall is going up. Many miles a week.”

Again, no.

19. “Well, that’s what he did, isn’t it, really, when you think about it. Look, that whole witch hunt was started – and hopefully that’ll all come out, but there have been some fantastic books written that just came out, whether you look at Gregg Jarrett are McCarthy’s book that just – just came out recently and so many other books – I mean, a lot of books are coming out. When you start reading those books, you see what they did to us. What they’ve done to this country is a disgrace. They’ve hurt this country very badly and no other president should have to go through what I’ve gone through.”

The question Trump was asked that elicited this response? “Can you explain to the American people why it is appropriate for an American president to ask a foreign leader for information about a political rival and what you would have said if you had discover that Barack Obama perhaps had asked a foreign leader for information about you before you campaigned for the presidency?” So, yeah.

20. “You take a look at that call. It was perfect. I didn’t know it. There was no quid pro quo.”

“I will say that we do a lot for Ukraine. We spend a lot of effort and a lot of time. Much more than the European countries are doing and they should be helping you more than they are. … There’s a lot of talk about Biden’s son, that Biden stopped the prosecution and a lot of people want to find out about that so whatever you can do with the Attorney General would be great. Biden went around bragging that he stopped the prosecution so if you can look into it … It sounds horrible to me.” – Donald Trump to Zelensky

21. “I’m very happy – yesterday, I guess we had a – a 53 poll and a lot of people say add 10 points to anything – anybody voting for Trump, you can add – anytime you get a poll, you can add 10 points or seven or six points, take it anyway you want.”

Riiiiiiight. The poll Trump is referring to is conducted by Rasmussen Reports. You can read more about that firm here.

22. “A – an investigation started called the Russian witch hunt, affectionately, and it was a total phony scam. It was set up by people within the government to try to stop somebody from getting elected, and after that person – namely me – won and convincingly won at 306 to 223 in the electoral college – which by the way, when you run a race, if you’re running electoral – no – if you go by the college, Electoral College, that’s a much different race than running popular vote.”

Putting aside the seemingly obligatory Trump reference to the Electoral College here, what he is describing as a “total phony scam” – the Mueller report – determined that not only did Russia seek to interfere in our election to help Trump but also that they did so because they believed Trump was better for their interests. And, oh yeah, that the Trump campaign welcomed it.

23. “And it’s like the hundred-yard dash or the mile. You train differently. And I can’t help that my opponent didn’t go to Wisconsin and should have gone much more to Michigan and Pennsylvania and other places, but that’s the way it is.”

Yes, he is still talking about the Electoral College. The 2016 election ended 1,052 days ago.

24. “We are having great polls. We have internal polls, Ohio, Iowa, Pennsylvania is looking good, North Carolina.”

So, uh, I don’t know how to break this to you but … this.

25. “He said, I can’t believe it, I never knew you could be this really nice to a person. He said, I cannot believe it. You were so nice. I didn’t think you had that in you to be so nice.”

This is Trump, quoting Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina), after the senator read the transcript of the call between trump and Zelensky. Which, well, OK.

26. “I’m nice to a lot of people. People don’t understand that. But I was.”

Same.

27. “The Mueller report. No obstruction. No collusion.”

“(I)f we had confidence after a thorough investigation of the facts that the President clearly did not commit obstruction of justice, we would so state. Based on the facts and the applicable legal standards, we are unable to reach that judgment. … Accordingly, while this report does not conclude that the president committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.” – The Mueller report

28. “I used to get great press until I ran for politics. I mean, I used to be the king of getting good press. I was very good at it and I got good. I mean, they covered me well for what otherwise I probably wouldn’t be here.”

He said the quiet part out loud.

29. “They said they don’t know if one man anywhere in the world, with all the men they know – or woman that could handle what I’ve had to handle. And I think that’s true. But I handle it. To me, it’s like putting on a suit.”

“Easy, guys… I put my pants on just like the rest of you – one leg at a time. Except, when my pants are on, I make gold records.” – Bruce Dickinson

30. “I know a lot about Venezuela. I’ve had many, many friends of mine come from Venezuela. They live many Miami. A certain section of Miami. I won’t mention the name because they’ll say I’m thinking about my business and I’m not.”

[nods head slowly]

31. “Just put this in the back of your mind. It’s all going to be fine.”

This feels like a good place to end.