CNN  — 

President Donald Trump traveled to Wisconsin on Saturday night to rally his supporters, and – pointedly – to miss the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner, which he has yet to attend as President.

Trump, continuing a trend of late, made a slew of questionable claims, bashed the media and loudly proclaimed his rightness about, well, everything. I went through the transcript and picked out the most, uh, outstanding, lines from his Green Bay rally. They’re below.

1. “The strength of our nation is found in the heart of our people, so true.”

This is a very common Trump speech pattern. He reads a line from the teleprompter. And because he hasn’t read the speech in advance, he responds by agreeing with his own words that he is seeing for the first time with a “so true.” And away we go!

2. “We’re going to get to the bottom of a lot of things happening in our country.”

So true.

3. “And we’re now the number one economy anywhere in the world and it’s not even close.”

This is, generally, true!

4. “By the way, Saturday night, is there anyplace that’s more fun than a Trump rally?”

I might be able to think of one or two places. …

5. “Can you imagine? Sleepy Joe? Crazy Bernie.”

Why did Trump suddenly start talking about his potential 2020 opponents? Oh, I have no idea. But the crowd LOVED it.

6. “I think Pocahontas, she’s finished, she’s out. She’s gone. No, when it was found that I had more Indian blood in me than she did.”

Trump is referring to Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren with this taunt. And, yes, the crowd LOVED it.

7. “But can you imagine any of these people up here doing what I’m doing? They’d be 200 people show up if they were president. If they were president, nobody would show up.”

It’s fascinating that Trump understands the job of being president as getting lots of people to show up to rallies.

8. “The people that get it wrong the most are the weather forecasters and the political analysts.”

He’s not wrong!

9. “People are standing out 24 hours ago, 32 hours ago outside. Who stood out there for 24 hours?”

This comes from the Green Bay Press Gazette: “A line of supporters wound around the Resch Center; some people said they’d waited outside overnight.” So true.

10. “We had 69,000 people sign up to come in. What does this place hold? Like 10,000 or 12,000 or whatever. Whatever it holds. We set the record.”

What record? Also, I have no idea how Trump came up with this 69,000 number. Here’s how a local TV affiliate described the crowd: “This was a free event that anyone could attend, but Secret Service detail said only the first 10,000 people are being let into the center.”

11. “I don’t know what the hell it holds, but we just set the record.”
According to the internet, the Resch Center holds 10,500 people. But Trump has the record. Bigly.

12. “That’s always dangerous. He said, ‘Yes, it is, sir.’ It’s always dangerous. Yes. You ask like, ‘No, sir.’ I’m dead. They will take – they will take that answer. That’ll be headlines.”

Let me translate this for you people who don’t speak word salad: Trump brought the owner of the Resch Center onstage and asked if it was a record crowd. (Because that is very important to how he does his job.) The owner said it was a record. Trump was relieved because it would have been bad headlines if it was not a record.

13. “Now, this is the record. We set records everywhere.”

It is VERY important for you to know that Donald Trump set a record. VERY.

14. “The greatest political hoax in American history, it really has been.”

For the record: The Mueller probe resulted in 199 charges against 37 people and entities. Seven people pleaded guilty to a variety of crimes while five were sentenced to prison. So, not really a “hoax.”

15. “The USMCA like the song ‘YMCA,’ right?”

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States!

16. “Can you believe I’m a politician? I can’t even.”

Honestly, same.

17. “You know, Canada, we love the song,’Oh Canada.’ Let’s sing, ‘Oh Canada,’ right. We love the show.”

WHAT. IS. HAPPENING. (And, no, there isn’t much context to add here. He just started talking about Canada.)

18. “But who knows, I always say, ‘Who knows?’ Because who the hell knows?”

[nods head slowly]

19. “Don’t forget, we are the piggy bank that everybody is robbing. We’re the ones. We’re the piggy bank that everybody is stealing from and robbing and taking advantage of.”


20. “This I don’t – I tell you what, you know, people say, ‘Oh, he wants to take over the country. He wants to extend.’ ”

I think Trump is ruling out changing the constitutional limit on a President serving two terms here. So there’s that.

21. “You’re right, USA. We love USA and that’s right.”

“I love lamp.” – Brick Tamland

22. “If you look at what’s happened with the scum that’s leaving the very top of government.”

Just the President of the United States referring to top-level staff as “scum.” Super normal stuff!!!

23. “The dirty – these were dirty cops. These were dirty players.”

Trump, presumably, is referring to longtime officials at the Department of Justice like James Comey and Robert Mueller.

24. “I mean we’re draining the swamp, but are we having a good time or what?”

Who said you can’t have fun draining the swamp? Not me!

25. “And look at all those beautiful red hats and some white ones. Some white. Look at that. Those are – that’s a lot of red hats. But you do have the white ones too, right?”

Red MAGA hats > White MAGA hats. But wait….

26. “And you have the black ones, too. You have a lot of them. You have a lot of different hats.”


27. “It’s called MAGA country. You know, I didn’t hear that term until that third-rate actor in Chicago went out.”

The President of the United States offers his thoughts on the Jussie Smollett case.

28. “Ronald Reagan used seldom Let’s Make America Great. Close, but not the same. Let’s – apostrophe S. You don’t want the apostrophe. It’s too complicated. It doesn’t work. But Ronald Reagan was good. He said let’s make – but he didn’t use it. He used it a little bit. We seriously use it, right?”


29. “And MAGA we got for free. Because my whole deal was Make America Great Again, all of a sudden people are saying and going #MAGA.”

Words fail.

30. “We have a massive television audience, do you ever see so many cameras? If somebody else were here, you’d have about like none.”

I’ve heard that this is a record crowd. So true.

31. “Because I have a couple of friends here. They’re pretty wealthy people, very successful people. And you know what? The hell with them. I don’t care.”

Oh snap, Trump friends, you got dunked on! FACE!

32. “In Michigan, they gave me an award six years, seven years ago, I had no idea. It was the Man of the Year in Michigan.”

There’s no evidence Trump was ever named “Man of the Year” in Michigan.

33. “They will take your guns away, too, by the way.”

Trump passes along this much-debunked notion that Democrats, if put in power, will collect all firearms in the country – and no one bats an eye.

34. “Now we’re sending many of them to sanctuary cities. Thank you very much. They’re not too happy about it. I’m proud to tell you that was actually my sick idea.”

There’s zero evidence that the administration is shipping undocumented immigrants detained at the border to sanctuary cities. In fact, several administration officials have made clear that the policy is not only logistically untenable but also potentially illegal. But, hey, it was Trump’s “sick idea”!

35. “To confront the border crisis, I declared a national emergency. The good news is everybody agrees.”

[narrator voice] They don’t.

36. “They are aggressively pushing extreme late-term abortion, allowing children to be ripped from their mother’s womb.”

Totally and completely false.

37. “The baby is born. The mother meets with the doctor. They take care of the baby. They wrap the baby beautifully. And then the doctor and the mother determine whether or not they will execute the baby.”

Dangerously inaccurate.

38. “We’ve got a lot of young people out there. You want to know the truth? I actually think we have more than they do.”

Hillary Clinton won voters aged 18-29 by 19 points in 2016.

39. “We’re very close, $300 million for the Great Lakes Restoration Initiatives.”


40. “You know, a lot of times, if you’re not going to brag about it, nobody else is, you might as well do it. True.”

So true.

41. “And I have to say, every leader without fail that comes to see me in the Oval Office, they all say congratulations.”

Every foreign leader who comes to see Trump tells him “congratulations.” Every one. Absolutely. This is definitely, 100% true, I’m sure.

42. “With every last ounce of heart and hope and sweat, and so we are going to make our stand.”

Speaking of making stands: Why the hell did Jon Snow approve a battle plan where he marched his forces outside of the walls of Winterfell to battle the army of the dead? Like, why not hang out inside the walls? Am I the only one who thinks this?

43. “Together with the great and proud people of Wisconsin, we will make America wealthy again.”

[emoji with cash coming out of mouth] This feels like a good place to end.