Kelly Clarkson has something to say about her weight and mental health

Updated 1:49 PM EDT, Tue October 24, 2017
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Kelly Clarkson
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Story highlights

Clarkson is opening up about her battle to conform to fame's expectations of beauty

She said she was always in the gym but it punished her body

(CNN) —  

Kelly Clarkson may have looked good to some years ago when she was dieting and working out to stay thin, but she is now saying she didn’t feel good.

The singer is clarifying some comments she made to Attitude magazine about battling her weight.

“When I was really skinny I wanted to kill myself,” the publication quoted her as saying . “I was miserable, like inside and out, for four years of my life. But no one cared, because aesthetically you make sense.”

Clarkson, 35, first burst on the music scene after winning the first season of “American Idol” in 2002.

With fame also came the pressures of maintaining a certain look. The magazine quoted Clarkson as calling that period of her life “a very dark time for me.”

“I thought the only way out was quitting,” she said. “I like wrecked my knees and my feet because all I would do is put in headphones and run. I was at the gym all the time.”

On Tuesday Clarkson tweeted to say that being thin was a result of her unhappiness, not the cause.

“Just to clear something up. I wasn’t ever miserable because I had to be thin,” Clarkson tweeted. “I said I was miserable & as a result I became thin.

The singer also denied that she was suicidal over her weight.

“NOT TRUE I’ve never contemplated suicide because of my weight,” Clarkson tweeted. “I said people had no idea I was unhappy oddly enough because I appeared healthy.”

These days the singer is in a happier place with a new album and after having given birth to her children, River, 3, and Remington, 1, with hubby/manager Brandon Blackstock.

Clarkson, whose new album, “Meaning of Life,” drops this week, is comfortable enough in her skin to quickly shut down body shamers on social media.

Related: Kelly Clarkson is not here for your body shaming

When someone tried to troll her this summer by tweeting “You’re fat,” Clarkson tweeted back “and still f***ing awesome.”