Skip to main content /SHOWBIZ
CNN.com /SHOWBIZ
CNN TV
EDITIONS






2001 movies: Reviewer Paul Clinton's 10 worst

By Paul Clinton
CNN Reviewer

(CNN) -- The plot for the Broadway success (and 1968 film) "The Producers" notwithstanding, no one in entertainment has ever set out to make a bad play or movie. But year after year, they keep getting made.

Bad movies do serve one purpose: Without them, we might not know how good the good ones really are. Topping this year's list are three blockbusters that all went bust.

"Planet of the Apes"

Directed by Tim Burton
Starring Mark Wahlberg, Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Clarke Duncan
(20th Century Fox)

"Get your stinking paws off me." Oh yeah, everyone was excited about Tim Burton's take on the remake (excuse me, "reimagining") of "Planet of the Apes." But because there were such high hopes for this epic, the resulting stink bomb was almost a personal insult to millions of fans. Despite great special effects, wonderful costumes, extraordinary makeup and excellent scenery, the movie itself was awful. It all comes down to story, and "Apes" didn't have one. Nothing -- but nothing -- made sense, and the ending was jaw-droppingly idiotic. This film made a monkey out of everyone involved.

"Pearl Harbor"

Directed by Michael Bay
Starring Ben Affleck, Kate Beckinsale, Josh Hartnett
(Touchstone)

Michael Bay's "Pearl Harbor," er, bombed. This megabudget production tanked equally as a war movie and as a romantic drama. Overfilled with special effects and the beautiful, scrubbed faces of Josh Hartnett, Ben Affleck and Kate Beckinsale, this epic film felt emotionally hollow and foundered at the box office. Bay and producer Jerry Bruckheimer ("The Rock," 1996; "Armageddon," 1998) are poster twins for Hollywood's obsession with things that go boom. This time they went bust.

"A.I. Artificial Intelligence"

Directed by Steven Spielberg
Starring Haley Joel Osment, Jude Law, William Hurt
(Warner Bros/Dreamworks)

Some chemistry experiments just don't work. Case in point: Steven Spielberg and Stanley Kubrick. Despite Spielberg's obvious respect for the late, legendary Kubrick, their styles and sensibilities don't jell. Some reviewers swooned over "A.I.," but the public stayed away in droves, and I couldn't agree more. Despite the work of gifted actors such as Jude Law and Haley Joel Osment, this science fiction morality play about the nature of being human never got off the ground. As a filmmaker, Spielberg usually reinforces our innate emotional responses. Kubrick, on the other hand, either completely challenged them or totally ignored them. One is hot, the other is cold, and this film is a lukewarm mess.

"Freddy Got Fingered"

TEST 2001 movies: Tales of Two Pauls
Click on each link to see our two CNN reviewers' favorites and least favorites from the year in films.
Paul Clinton's best of 2001
Paul Clinton's worst of 2001
Paul Tatara's best of 2001
Paul Tatara's worst of 2001

Directed by Tom Green
Starring Tom Green, Rip Torn and Julie Hagerty
(20th Century Fox)

"Freddy Got Fingered" is not just one of the worst films of 2001 -- it's one of the worst of all time. Just watching this atrocity might lower your I.Q. by 10 points. Writer, director and star Tom Green is a case study in adolescent arrested development. Any body part on any creature -- living or dead -- is an object to be licked, crawled into or smeared all over his snickering face. Apparently this man will do anything to shock or disgust his audience. He confuses attention with approval, or maybe it's disapproval with success? Either way he's a loser.

"3,000 Miles to Graceland"

Directed by Demian Lichtenstein
Starring Kevin Costner, Christian Slater, Kevin Pollack, Kurt Russell
(Warner Bros.)

"3,000 Miles to Graceland" is a wasted trip. Whoever glued this thing together must have been sniffing the glue, too. Kevin Costner has spent the last few years nose-diving in one lousy project after another (a major exception being 1993's underrated "A Perfect World"), and this flick is a case in point. This uninspired story about a bunch of losers who attempt to rob a Las Vegas casino while impersonating Elvis during an Elvis convention is insipid from start to finish. Featuring a ridiculously high body count and enough stage blood to float a boat, this mindless caper flick leaves the audience feeling black and blue.

"Glitter"

Directed by Vondie Curtis Hall
Starring Mariah Carey, Max Beesley, Eric Benet, Valarie Pettiford.
(20th Century Fox)

Mariah Carey has had a tough year, what with her mini-nervous breakdown and all, but some investigative journalist should look into how soon after screening "Glitter" she decided to seek asylum in a spa for the emotionally exhausted. Or would that be the highly embarrassed? Actually, Carey mainly plays herself, and she's a whole lot better actress then her sister diva Whitney Houston -- but that's not saying much. This mixture of "Purple Rain" (1984) and "A Star Is Born" (pick a year) -- and a little of Carey's real life -- is flat and off-key. Thankfully, Carey sings on the soundtrack and she's keeping her day job.

"Town & Country"

Directed by Peter Chelsom
Starring Warren Beatty, Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton, Andie McDowell, Jenna Elfman Garry Shandling
(New Line Cinema)

"Town & Country" had more famous people on board than the Titanic, and almost as many went down with the ship. The film cost an estimated $90 million to make, and took in $6 million at the box office. A sucker may be born every minute, but few of them went to see this film. Years in the making and starring Warren Beatty, Diane Keaton, Garry Shandling, Andie MacDowell, Jenna Elfman and Nastassja Kinski (there are more, but most are in the witness protection program), this movie is a paint-by-numbers exercise in disaster. It's also proof positive that there is more to a movie then just who is in it -- the story counts! Duh! Glossy and vapid, this film will make your toes curl.

"Sweet November"

Directed by Pat O'Connor
Starring Keanu Reeves, Charlize Theron, Jason Isaacs
(Warner Bros.)

No respectable worst-films list would be complete without at least one movie starring Keanu Reeves. This year, he gave us "Sweet November." Starring the aforementioned Reeves and the achingly beautiful Charlize Theron, this sappy, meaningless piece of gooey dreck is just another variation of the old chestnut "boy meets girl -- girl dies -- boy is sad but a better person for having met her." If that isn't enough to make you lunge for the Pepto-Bismol, how about this -- Reeves actually sings in this movie. Run for the hills and take the children with you!

"The Royal Tenenbaums"

Directed by Wes Anderson
Starring Danny Glover, Gene Hackman, Anjelica Huston, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Stiller, Luke & Owen Wilson
(Touchstone Pictures)

Being an award-winning and famous actor or actress does not make one immune to overacting. In fact, some may argue it only increases the odds. Many critics have put "The Royal Tenenbaums," the new film from Wes Anderson ("Rushmore," 1998) on their 10 Best lists. Why? Admittedly, this film has an impressive roster -- Gwyneth Paltrow, Gene Hackman, Angelica Huston, Bill Murray, Danny Glover, Ben Stiller, Luke and Owen Wilson (the latter of whom also co-wrote the film) -- but so what? They're all reduced to one-dimensional cartoon characters. Everyone is so busy being odd, eccentric and weird that he or she lives in his or her own little universe. This is just a bunch of strange wackos in search of a story.

"Swordfish"

Directed by Dominic Sena
Starring John Travolta, Halle Berry, Don Cheadle, Hugh Jackman
(Warner Bros.)

The only thing notable about "Swordfish" is the fact that Halle Berry bares her breasts for a few seconds for the first time on film. If this is enough to make you spend nine bucks on a movie, you need to get a life. John Travolta sports the same haircut he wore in "Pulp Fiction" (1994), but this does not a film make. Like an MTV video on speed, "Swordfish" swims at lighting speed, but not fast enough. Laden with special effects and razor-sharp edits, ultimately this mindless flick is not only ludicrous and preposterous, but it's also downright insulting. When Travolta is very good, he's astounding. When he's very bad, he makes you question: How does this talented man pick his projects? With a Ouija board, or a dart board?



 
 
 
 



RELATED SITES:

 Search   

Back to the top