Have you got $1.27 million, 40 days and a liver to spare?
Would you say you have expensive tastes?
Do you prefer a very large diamond in your martini rather than an olive?
UK-based travel company Holidaysplease is offering a luxury world drinking tour in which you can learn and demonstrate the art of conspicuous consumption.
Starting and ending in London -- although pickups are possible elsewhere -- the ultimate hedonistic, money-no-object vacation takes in the world's best hotels, swankiest restaurants and most exclusive bars in 10 upmarket destinations.
En route, drinkers take in the universe's most ludicrously expensive niche beverages.
Half a mil for champagne
In Monaco, members of the bottomless budget brigade will mingle with other surreally high net individuals at the high end Hotel Hermitage Monte-Carlo and party at Flavio Briatore's Billionaire Sunset Lounge in the hotel Fairmont Monte Carlo, quaffing selections from the $565,000 "in-house Armand de Brignac Dynastie" champagne collection.
The $565,000 "in-house Armand de Brignac Dynastie" champagne collection.
It all comes complete with fawning waiters and diamond-filled ice buckets.
"We spend the first three nights in London in the five-star Corinthia Hotel and hang out in the Playboy Club, Park Lane, Mayfair," says Byron Warmington of Holidaysplease.
Hef once said: "Life needs to be lived with a sense of style."
As a taste of things to come, surrounded by grinning Bunnies, guests will sample the glam high life and swallow what's reported to be the second most expensive drink in the history of mixology.
The Legacy cocktail includes 1788 Clos de Griffier Vieux Cognac, which comes in at $21,000 for a 40 ml shot.
It also includes ancient Kummel liqueur, vintage orange Curacao and four dashes of circa 1900 Angostura bitters.
The glass it comes in isn't an antique.
Slum it with $5,000 wine in Germany
The next day, at Covent Garden's Belgo Bierodrome, guests get to sample one of the world's all-time dearest beers -- Vieille Bon Secours, brewed by Caulier in Belgium's Wallonia region.
Then, to please those into rare Rieslings, it's off to Frankfurt for a bottle of Egon Muller (only $5,000) and a personalized "executive" Mosel factory tour.
Members don't just drink well --they sleep well on this trip, too.
France is the next stop with an extended tasting at Cognac's Grey Goose distillery.
In Lyon, there's R&R with a $24,000 bottle of Henri Jayer Richebourg Grand Cru '78.
A complimentary VIP tour of the Cote de Nuits is thrown in.
The whole ludicrously self-indulgent trip is all-inclusive.
Aspirin is complimentary. And limitless.
Holidaysplease also offers a six-month, 12-country gourmet odyssey with tables booked at all 107 of the world's Michelin three-star restaurants.
People you could be drinking with
A couple from Phoenix, Arizona, have reportedly already booked the drinking tour, as have two British drinkers with deep pockets and credit to burn.
After Bordeaux, there's a renal rest stop in Dubai (staying at the Jumeirah Beach Hotel), then it's onto Singapore and The Long Bar at Raffles Singapore for a bargain-priced but relatively downmarket fifty-buck Gin Sling.
At Melbourne's The Crown Entertainment Complex guests will be handed a Winston, which mostly comprises a 19th-century Cognac coming in at $170,000 a bottle.
"The Winston was the culmination of multiple parties," says Joel Heffernan, executive mixologist at Crown Melbourne's Club 23 bar and creator of the cocktail.
"The Folle Branche grape variety used to make the vintage cognac doesn't exist anymore. I wanted to pay homage to that grape.
"It's named after Churchill as he and Eisenhower allegedly drank 1858 Croizet Cuvee Leonie while planning the D-Day invasion.
"It's the Cognac that makes the drink special."
The drink makes a signature Churchill Downs Kentucky Derby Mint julep look like a can of Mountain Dew.
It's served with garnishes that include chocolate nutmeg dust, poppy seed essence, rose essence and a little coconut.
And it takes two days to make.
No over-the-top, absurdly decadent vacation is complete without a stay in Las Vegas where drinkers will be served an iconic Ono Champagne cocktail-for-two at the Aria Resort and Casino Las Vegas.
It's made with Charles Heidsieck Champagne Charlie 1981 and super-rare Louis XIII de Remy Martin Black Pearl Cognac, Sence Rose Nectar, freshly squeezed orange juice and apricot puree.
It's sometimes served in a gold-rimmed Baccarat Champagne flute.
In some places, anyone who orders one also gets a rather nice gold necklace and Mont Blanc cuff links.
There's more wining and dining at astronomical prices before a visit to New York's Algonquin Hotel Times Square, Autograph Collection, and a thirst-quenching $20,000 diamond-filled martini, served by the man with the steadiest hands in the city, food and beverage director Alex Aubry.
"I ordered a carat in my martini. Not a carrot."
"Awaiting you when you arrive back in London will be the ultimate goody bag," says Warmington.
"Three of the most collectable bottles on the planet -- $13,500 Legacy by Angostura rum, $170,000 64-year-old limited edition Dalmore Trinitas whisky and Penfolds Ampoule red wine, of which only 12 bottles were made."
If you could buy that bottle in a liquor store it would set you back an estimated $18,500.
"Many people quote once-in-a-lifetime holidays but we think this genuinely is," says Warmington. "It's all about the fun of lavish parties, the culture of the wine tours and the extravagance of sipping a cocktail that literally costs hundreds of dollars per sip.
"This holiday is unique. And will provide the ultimate dinner party story."
Unless your guests one-up you and bring along a $6.2 million bottle of Isabella's Islay single malt in an English crystal decanter with 8,500 diamonds and quite a few rubies encrusted on it, too.