B. December 5: Christmas Party at the White House
On Friday, December 5, Ms. Lewinsky returned from Department
of Defense travel in Europe.(721) She asked Ms. Currie if the
President could see her the next day, but Ms. Currie said he was
busy meeting with his lawyers.(722) In the late afternoon, she
attended a Christmas party at the White House with a Defense
Department colleague.(723) Ms. Lewinsky exchanged a few words with
the President in the reception line.(724)
The Christmas reception encounter heightened Ms. Lewinsky's
frustration. On the evening of December 5, she drafted an
anguished letter to the President.(725) "[Y]ou want me out of your
life," she wrote. "I guess the signs have been made clear for
awhile -- not wanting to see me and rarely calling. I used to
think it was you putting up walls."(727) She had purchased several
gifts for him, and, she wrote, "I wanted to give them to you in
person, but that is obviously not going to happen."(728) Ms.
Lewinsky reminded the President of his words during their October
10 telephone argument:
I will never forget what you said that night
we fought on the phone -- if you had known
what I was really like you would never have
gotten involved with me. I'm sure you're not
the first person to have felt that way about
me. I am sorry that this has been such a bad
experience.(729)
She concluded the letter: "I knew it would hurt to say goodbye
to you; I just never thought it would have to be on paper. Take
care."(730)
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