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Friday, February 23, 2007
News in Brief: Ping-pong rules adjusted for girlfriend
EDEN PRARIE, Minnesota -— After having won three consecutive ping-pong matches by increasingly wide margins Saturday, David Richter, 27, adjusted the rules in favor of girlfriend Amy Lindon, 28, to avoid another lopsided victory. "I didn't want her to feel bad, and I actually didn't even want to beat her by so many points anymore," said Richter, who let Lindon hit the ball even if it bounced twice on her side, did not penalize her for serving illegally, and on one occasion tripled her overall score. "Toward the end, I was giving her points just for swinging the paddle in the direction of the ball." Richter won 21-7.
American Voices: ESP lab closing
A Princeton University lab studying extrasensory perception (ESP) is closing. What do you think?

"Yes! The Duluth Tarot Institute is back on top!"
- Matt Sharma, Motorcycle Mechanic


"This does not bode well for Yale's Department of Goblin Studies or for Brown's Center for Skunk Ape and Yeti Research."
- Bradley Terwilliger, Gardener


"This will come as a huge blow to the students who relied on this lab to provide insight to their futures as investment bankers, consultants, and Secretaries of Defense."
- Nina Parks, Bartender


Get more from The Onion
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Worth 1,000 words
 A dog riding a toy motorcycle takes part in the “Rose Monday” street parade in Cologne, Germany.The image at left is a real news photo, no kidding. Facts and figures aside, what kind of caption would you write for this photo if accuracy were no object?

Here's what CNN.com is looking for:
• Be funny: We'll feature the best caption as a post on Warp CNN, the bread and butter of all things funny on the news.
• Keep it short: Aim for 20-50 words.

You know you want to be the top dog of the next caption challenge, so send us your best stuff by posting a comment below.

(If you're wondering what is really going on in this picture, here's the real caption: A dog riding a toy motorcycle takes part in the “Rose Monday” street parade in Cologne, Germany.)
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Westminster dog show finalists form elite Iditarod team
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Iran/Iraq, take 3: Brixton Doyle


This is the third of three I-Report cartoons on the relationship between Iran and Iraq. You can see the others here: Jim Brenneman and Lucas Turnbloom.
Iran/Iraq, take 2: Jim Brenneman
Cartoonist Jim Brenneman calls this one "The Runaway Train." His is one of three I-Report pieces on the same topic this week. Check out the others here: Brixton Doyle and Lucas Turnbloom.

Iran/Iraq, take 1: Lucas Turnbloom
Three I-Report cartoonists tackled the same subject this week -- here's Lucas Turnbloom's take:

Sunday, February 18, 2007
Caption challenge winner
For maximum freshness, place cap firmly back on cactus after each use. -- Kyle McKayCongratulations to Kyle McKay of Chapel Hill, North Carolina! Your votes make Kyle the newest member in the caption challenge Hall of Fame. Check out the winning caption:

For maximum freshness, place cap firmly back on cactus after each use.
Kyle McKay, Chapel Hill, North Carolina
FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS
Jim Brenneman
A former Marine and current cartoonist who penned this, this, this and this

Jake Novak
CNN producer by day, comedian by night

[ Your name here ]
Think you're funny? Prove it. Send your best 'toon to the Warp

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