Friday, September 22, 2006
Jake's Take: Air travel advisory
Because of the spinach E. Coli outbreak, U.S. travelers will no longer be allowed to bring animal feces on their carry-on bags.
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 Add a comment | Email this postAmerican Voices: Bloodless Thai coup
Thailand went through a bloodless coup while the President was out in the United States to address the United Nations. What do you think?
 "I'm looking forward to seeing this on the political edition of While You Were Out."- Cindy Daniels, Cashier  "This is all in accordance with Thailand's 'Whoever sits in the President's chair is the President' policy."- Chad Brackmeyer, Systems Analyst  "It's not the best solution to removing a corrupt leader, but it sure does the job better than the electoral college."- Brian Knuth, Medical Receptionist Get more from The Onion 
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Infographic
Jake's Take: Thai TV
All international TV broadcasts have been shut down in Thailand as the unrest continues. Well, if that's what it takes to get "The Apprentice" off the air, I say we start a military march on Washington right now!
Jake's Take: Thai coup
Tanks are rolling through the streets of Bangkok and are just three miles from the Capitol as an apparent coup is underway in Thailand. Considering the usual state of the traffic in Bangkok, I'd say the sitting government has about 16 hours to prepare.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
American Voices: Willie Nelson busted for pot
Willie Nelson was issued a citation Monday for possession of marijuana and psychedelic mushrooms. What do you think?
 "He got caught? Crap. All right, I guess I got to call my other guy."Doug Addams, Button Maker  "You can't arrest Willie Nelson for doing drugs. That's like arresting Aretha Franklin for being fat, or James Brown for any of the various crimes he's committed."Terry North, Osteopath  "That's the difference between marijuana and alcohol: When Willie Nelson was pulled over, he had only nice things to say about Jews."Janet Gansburg, Bond Insurer Get more from The Onion
Jake's Take: Whitney-Bobby split
Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown have confirmed they are getting divorced. Whitney is now looking for a new man to share her life with, and Bobby is looking for a new woman to bail him out of jail.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
News in Brief: Mister Rogers' neighborhood gerrymandered to serve King Friday's make-believe agenda
MISTER ROGERS' NEIGHBORHOOD, Pennsylvania -- A plan to radically redistrict Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood to further cement the control of the powerful King Friday XIII political machine is expected to pass this week and deeply affect current taxation structure, voting patterns, and services. "Meow-me-meow can't afford meow property tax as it stands now meow, and meow don't want everything I've worked for to be destroyed meow," said one resident, who asked to remain anonymous. Among the anticipated changes are sharp cutbacks in speedy deliveries, the elimination of trolley routes to such low-income districts as Someplace Else and the platypus mound, as well as the destruction of the Museum-Go-Round to make room for a massive new headquarters for The Electric Company.
Get more from The Onion
Jake's Take: Shuttle landing delayed
NASA is postponing the space shuttle Atlantis' scheduled Wednesday landing because of an unidentified object was seen floating near the vehicle. It's not clear whether it's a pair of nail clippers or a bottle of shampoo.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Jake's Take: Al Qaeda vs. the Pope
As Muslim anger against Pope Benedict XVI grows, al Qaeda is launching several plots against the Pontiff. But it will be hard for the terrorists to do any worse than what Michigan did to Notre Dame on Saturday.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Jake's Take: Cuban summit
Leaders from Iran, North Korea, Syria, and Venezuela have just wrapped up a summit meeting in Cuba. Also attending were the Joker, the Hob Goblin, and Lex Luthor.
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