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Thursday, June 21, 2007
Captioning cuteness creates quite a challenge
Cat and bunnyAwwwww, isn't it cute? They're circumventing the food chain. David Witherly of Clinton Township, Michigan, sent this photo of "champion mouser" Achilles spending time with a bunny that Witherly has named Lightning. The whole point here (and there is a point) is to test your resolve. Can you, Warp CNN caption challenge participant, focus on the photo-describing task at hand even as the sheer cuteness of this photo taunts and distracts you?

Post a comment below and we'll feature the best caption as a post on Warp CNN, the most trusted name in news satire. And if you don't, Achilles will be highly displeased with you. You don't want to mess with this cat. Witherly tells us he's got something of a reputation for bringing home trophies from his neighborhood hunts, despite his apparent fondness for this particular rabbit.

• Be funny: They may be cuddly and adorable together, but don't hold back.
• Keep it short: Aim for 20-50 words. Good things come in small packages, including bunnies and Warp CNN photo captions.

(The back story goes like this: Witherly was out trimming some high grass when he came across the little bunny. He set the creature in a planter while he finished his yardwork. When Witherly came back to send the rabbit back into the wild, he found that Achilles had taken quite a non-edible liking to Lightning. Since then, the two have become friends. Witherly says Achilles spends much of his day lounging with Lightning in a similar manner as shown. He sent us a number of photos that show the pair hanging out together, so we're inclined to believe him.)
Attributable to early cloning and stem-cell successes, the patrons of Earls’ Pet Emporium are afforded a unique two-in-one offer.
Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my cat!
Unfortunately, only Animal Planet was willing to pick up the “terrifying” sequel to Alien. Sigourney Weaver was unavailable for comment.
Once thought to be only vile gossip or meaningless rumors, our undercover news team captures a rare glimpse into the unscrupulous underworld of feline massage parlors.
Sensing an increasing need to stay finely attuned to his environment, Fred opted for auxiliary rabbit ears.
Out of work for nearly a decade and age taking its toll, Morris unwisely resorts to buying discounted hair pieces to break back into show business.
For Mildred, it wasn’t merely an unfortunate inconvenience and it certainly wasn’t funny, her abnormally large, topiary-like mole was the bane of her existence, all nine lives worth.
Conservatives gathered this week to protest the union between this cat and this bunny, claiming “it weakens the cultural, religious, and natural roots of society.”
Well little buddy, you are soooooo lucky that I'm a Vegan
Yeah, it's a hairy job, but even as a young bunny Lightning knew that deodorant testing was the smell of big money.
Ah..can someone please get this enormous tick off me?
Faced with the challenge of a hunt vs. undying friendship, and knowing how it is to suddenly be orphaned, Achilles postpones his hunt and takes on his prey as his own.
Well, my wife, Kitty, said that Junior was mine, but I'm beginning to have my doubts.
Becoming ever more obvious, Achilles could no longer deny the hare growing on the middle of his back.

Jen Tucker
Summerville, SC
Despondent over his loss to the Tortoise in the big race, Lightning went on a bender, and when he came to his senses found that these incriminating photos had been posted all over the internet.
I like to keep my snacks close for those sudden urges.
First it was ears on mice, now rabbits on cats? What is the world of animal testing coming too?!
"But, Mom says it's all the rage again. Rabbit collars are back! Honest!"
Recent slave labor investigations turned up this horrifying photo of a young rabbit who was lured away from his home and subsequently forced to work as a live heating pad for a pampered, arthritic cat.
You touch my bunny and I'll eat your lunch.
"What, do I have a hare out of place??!!"
From the cat "Come on! I tried to chase him in to the trap. But you try it when he's that cute!"
Not your normal "hare ball".
"Shhhhh, Be vewy vewy qwiet!" "I'm hunting wabbit!!"
"And THEY said it wouldn't last!"
Do you think we can teach the republicans and democrats anything about partisanship . . . .they are such animals!
This hagover is killing me. What the...!
Achilles heel! tamed by beast Lightning.
"That's strange. All of a sudden I have a craving for hasenpfeffer."
Never one for lonely nights, Achilles finds friendship with an unlikely companion, leading to rumors of potential unity among all enemies. Both sides of the house immediately take credit for the collaboration till it’s revealed it is merely a cute picture. Both sides immediately distance themselves, subsequently stating that the ‘images are distasteful’.
No, I'm not into Harey Squishna.
"I've always wanted a bunny fur collar"
Claude didn't want to prove it, but intuition told him, his charmed life would quickly become harried if he ever lost his lucky rabbit’s feet
Keep your friends close, but your meals closer.
"Somebunny"loves me!
Hare today, gone tomorrow.
Some bunny loves me.
It pays to be nice to the Easter Bunny!
Once again trying to prove his stance on tolerance, Pres. Bush shared this photo of family friends at a cabinet gathering. Later, the group was shocked to overhear the couple admitting they were actually Obama supporters.
Do to the fact that construction sites are virtually everywhere, nature has been strained to make an alternative to the ever popular bunny hole..."What's up doc?"
Yes, we're all familliar with the "biggest vegetable contest" in which competitors battle out to have the biggest squash or pumpkin, but now we see a new spin on it "smallest snack contest"
Wow, that weird grass I found in the shoebox under the bed has really got me acting strange.
You're Nobody Till Somebunny Loves You!
Claude hoped never to learn for sure, but intuition that his charmed life would take a quick and harried turn for the worst necessitated zealous, unremitting, protection of his four lucky rabbit’s feet
Our love may be forbidden, but we just don't care!
Despite impressive gains in adorability, the hare-assment continued...
"No... just a fe-lying."

from Mimi Cirillo
New Jersey
Just three more, and I'll have me some new slippers.

Paul Thurman
It's not a tumor!
Yes, that's right I'm a diva..You all just envy my ability to wear rabbit with such a flair..
Quick, hide here. The Vice President is riding around with his shotgun again.
So...Lightning, buddy, what d'ya say we chase some babes? You catch a doe, I'll catch a ray of meow. So, we'll have a doe, ray me..yow!

Are we cool, or what?!
Hey, Lightning, you're really soft. Really, really soft.

Yeah, I'm just a softie!
Rub a little right there...yeah, a little more...aaaahhhh!!
I know hybrids are all the rage but this is ridiculous!
It's one of those moles with a big hare growing out of it.
yes my dear rabbit sleeep sleeep. The faster you fall asleep the sooner I can eat you!
Eveyone, even Achilles (the champion mouser) needs somebunny to love.
I think it's time to call Maury!

" I am NOT the father! "
Don't get me wrong Jack! Some of my best friends are rabbits.
But doctor, it keeps on growing...do you think it's time to get it lanced?
I told you I had a growth...NOW will you take me to the vet?????
It has been said that lightning never strikes in the same place twice; unless of course it produces a wierd mutational growth that multiplies itself like bunnies-year after year after year.
In an effort to avoid a messy anti-fur protest, Veronica decided to wear her new rabbit coat while it was still on a rabbit.
Achilles...does He or doesn't He? Only His haredresser knows for sure. (A spinoff of the old TV ad for a hair product that was supposed to make your hair look great). And let's face it, snuggled there in it's own cat-fur bed that hare looks great!
That's right. Just a little closer...
When faced with altering their pets, many people choose the "add a new species" option
Sorry, Jennifer, it's not the easter bunny... it's just a very, very strange looking mole....
Jim Brenneman
A former Marine and current cartoonist who penned this, this, this and this

Jake Novak
CNN producer by day, comedian by night

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