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Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Caption challengers, jump right in
Soldiers jump upWhy are these guys leaping up and down? Are they merely excited, or did they gain the superpower of levitation after sitting too close to the TV? We want to see what funny caption you can come up with for this actual I-Report photo sent in by Ann Tatman-Tyree of Savannah, Georgia.

Post a comment below and we'll feature the best caption as a post on Warp CNN, the most trusted name in news satire. And if you don't, we'll start leaping into the air out of anger rather than glee.

Guidelines:
• Be funny: We want to be elevated into midair just like these guys through the sheer amusement you've brought us.
• Keep it short: Aim for 20-50 words.

(Just in case you really want to know about the particulars behind this image, Ann's husband, Lt. Gill Tatman-Tyree, is the one on the right. He's joining with Lt. Mike Urso, left, to celebrate the promotion of Lt. Scott Parsons, center, from second lieutenant to first lieutenant. They're stationed at Balad Airbase in Iraq and will return home at the end of April.)
Although less well known than “global warming”, “gravitational weakening” is quickly becoming a force (or lack there of) to reckon with.
Yay! More oil!
If you look closely in this picture you'll notice, nothing is moving, these soldiers are STUCK in "Limbo Iraq". They need us to bring them home.
Who needs Superman when you have Military Man!!
In Iraq today, the first low-altitude, no-parachute drop proved successful beyond all expectations.
Today, the military announced competition for "Dancing with the Stars".....it's called "Dancing in our Wars".
Like the game hot potato...this one is called, "HOT G.I.!!!"
Wow! It's now official...Here's three of our True American Idols..Oh Happy Day..
Hey! You can't keep good men down.
Three servicemen from Balad Airbase Iraq sustained mild injuries after brief exposure to weaponized viagra. Full recovery expected.
Despite their best efforts, the choreography to "Y-M-C-A" continued to elude them.
"Ouch, this concrete is Hot" !!!
HEY!!!! MOM THAT NEW WOOLITE FABIC SOFTNER REALLY WORKS- WERE FLOATING
Hey Scott,I think the chutes should've opened by now.
"Look Ma's, No shoes, or binding underwear or ....."
we wish we joined the air force. due to our low asvab scores, this is as close as we could get.
HOT..HOT..HOT..Ouch! HOT..HOT..HOT...
Their tighty whites are just a tad to tight today their trying to stretch them out
American Idol winner, Sanjaya, is coming to perform for the troops!
NASA wannabees
Iraq'n let's roll
My caption:
"Y...S....I, it's fun to be between Y...S....I"
(YSI = You Secterian Iraqis)
what timing! the shadow even looks like a ..it's a plane,.. it's a man ..it's superman
Elated to hear "I ain't no holler back girl" for the first time in months!
Hay! Hay! Hay!...look, we are three real action figures...
Look, ma. No Kevlar.
Thanks to the Democrat's lack of support, this is how we now test for roadside bombs!
Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! And it's a plane! And it's SUPERMAN!
Unfortunately for these three lieutenants, the first item to lose Congressional funding in Iraq was their trampoline.
The Pentagon, today released more evidence that the war on gravity is working.
Yeeeeeaah! The war is over!
..they said we can go home when pigs fly.. okay, so service men can fly. Can we go home now?
YES!!!, I can afford those new Nike Air Jordanians!!! (Love Ya Bro, see ya soon)
Troops discover the benefits of Nike Zero-G combat footwear.
Oh what a feeling, Toyota!
well dang it all if the anti-gravity bomb worked too well, now even our boys over there can't stay on the ground
Just after this photo was snapped, the mood turned somber for these three troops when their Commanding Officer informed them that he had said "Jump", not "Simon says, jump".
New marching techniques utilized by US military present Iraqis the uniquely American joy of "doing your own thing".
The new phone books are here!! The new phone books are here!!
Hey, there's a plane ! Get us out of here !!
Are you gelin'?
It was a sad day when brothers Mike and Larry learned that there is no such thing as wonder triplets.
Hang on, we just found a whole mess of Weapons of Mass Destruction!
Simon says, "Who wants to go home?"
Yippeeeeeeee! They have boosted the reenlistment bonus!!!!
The new still-in beta-test wireless wedgie gets a firm uplift from these
volunteers.
I wanna be an Airborne Ranger
Congress cuts Iraq funding, pulls rug out from under troops.
They misunderstood the recent news and thought they said their tours would be "cut" by 3 months.
Bush follows Congress's order to have no more troops "on the ground."
While still claiming to support the troops, the Democrat-controlled Congress voted to suspend gravity for Iraq.
If you look at the shadow, you will see a perfect image of the B-3 Split Tail Bomber, previously classified.
Hey guys- according to this map, land mines have been planted there!
This is a sweet pic haha, shows the other side of soldiers. Keep it up boys.
Iraq will make ya JUMP! JUMP! Uh huh, uh huh...
Due to the inability of Al Qaeda in Iraq to annihilate American serviceman, Osama Bin Laden has authorized the use of jedi mind powers to levitate and immobilize them.
Bush to his generals, "I'll bring the troops home when pigs learn how to fly!"

General, "But sir, what happens if our troops have learned how to fly........."
Halliburton has finally made a product we can use--FLUBBER!!!!
Unfortunately, there were some unexpected side effects from last nights chili eating contest.
Who wants to extend in Iraq? I do! I do! I do!
Which one of you three wants to go home?
Due to recent budget cuts, Army and Air Force aviators were challenged on finding new ways to conduct their aerial missions.
Now that we've "won the war", we're going to Disneyland!
...It's raining men! Ah Fallujah it's raining men! Amen!
The Pentagon announced today that lack of funding has made it necessary to fly sans airplane until Bush signs the Defense Appropriations Bill now before Congress.
"Whoa! Easy there Rosie. It's our trampoline too."
"Alright! We get to stay an extra 3 months! Awesome!"
Bush announces that he has just listened to the voice of the American public.......
Please hurry with that shipment of Dr. Scholls!! We're NOT gellin!!!!!
High Five!!! We just went from 12 months to 15 months tour duty status!!!!
The newest U.S. secret weapon in Iraq was uncovered today: The Anti-Gravity Disco Ball. We'll boogey our way to victory.
Testing the Army's New Lightweight Infantry.
Disco isn't dead, it moved to Iraq....


American Soldiers learned today that Toyota had won the contract to build their new Hummer's...
"Stay in the air-men, we'll be safe from landmines"
Is it true who ever jumps the highest can go home today?
Tatman-Tyree, Urso, and Parsons experience the intestinal effects of Spicy Iranian delicacy. Three Army officers learn that the mixture of lam and spices so loved by the locals could make an officer anything but a gentleman. The three experienced "lift off" shortly after a dinner celebating Parson's promotion.
Thank God we are not in the British Navy!!
Latest military testing proven successful using New Mexico Pinto beans to elevate soldiers.
The US Military's long anticipated secret new weapon, the "soldier propulsion pack" shown in use here, is still in its experimental and testing stage.
YAY! We love 15 month deployments!
Go go gadget umbrella...no not the skates!
CIA nearly perfects anti-gravity boots. Researchers still need to solve adverse gas emissions that cause euphoria in soldiers.
"Who would like to drop the Bunkerbuster on Osama?" Pick me! Pick Me! I'll do it!!! No, Pick Me!!
Up, UP, Team Avengers Eagles, we will have this insurgency cleaned out in no time!
We just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
Alright, It's MRE pizza day.
Ouch...ouch... ouch...
This pavement is hot!
We will fight this country's battles, IN THE AIR, on land and sea....semper fi!
Who said you can't avoid IED's?
Reaching new heights never imagined.
Some soldiers still have a hard time grasping the gravity of the situation in Iraq.
These soldiers just received notification that BOTH Bush and Cheney will be deployed to Iraq for a 2-year tour of duty.
Your tour of duty is now over, what is the first thing your going to do when you get back to the States?

We're going to Disneyland!
Soldiers react to the announcement that DNA testing has conclusively proven that none of them are the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter.
Pilot Training.
Today the army unveiled it's top secret marionette corp.
Surge, smurge! We're outta here!
"....The Brown's are in the Play-Offs..."
Baghdad, we have a problem...
Calgon.....take me away......
Beam us up Scottie. There is no intelligent life on this planet.
Larry, Moe and Curly finally succeed in making the world's first shadow puppet of the Giant Squid.
Simon says, defy gravity.
You would think, with all that great research done by our administration prior to going into Iraq, we would know there was a weaker gravitational pull over there.
We been transferred to Germany
Hey mom! We're got a three day pass to the green zone.
And they say Area 51 doesn't exist?
This is to Airman Smartypants who was no doubt the one to make the comment about these Army soldiers having low ASVAB scores--you Airman Smartypants are not fit to lick a pair of Army boots let alone tie them on.
Air Jordan.....
Sanjaya wins!!!
U.S. troops finaly leave Iraq.... for 1.5 seconds.
My son is a paratrooper in Iraq these guys are "Superheroe Wannabees"
but...superheroes in their own right.I told my son..never let the drycleaners fold your parachute. He did laugh.
I scream you scream we all scream for Icecream
Upon departure, John McCain's flight crew realized they had left behind three of the senator's security detachment!
Give me a "U"! Give me a "S"! Give me an "A"! What does that spell?????
FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS
Jim Brenneman
A former Marine and current cartoonist who penned this, this, this and this

Jake Novak
CNN producer by day, comedian by night

[ Your name here ]
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