5. A shady dude at the departure gate offering to sell you back your just-confiscated bottle of shampoo for $50
4. Lots of returning service men and women from Iraq looking for John Kerry
3. Thousands of people crowding in the terminal thinking it's the line for the PlayStation 3
2. O.J. Simpson trying to sell his latest manuscript to the airport bookstore
1. Dozens of ex-Republican Congressmen on their way home... for good