Ten Speed Press, $12.95

Review by Malisa Caroselli

June 29, 1999
Web posted at: 5:25 p.m. EDT (2125 GMT)

(CNN) -- If you're looking for a self-help book that is truly entertaining, makes you laugh out loud and doesn't preach rigid daily exercises with large doses of self-reflection, this is the book for you. These homespun wisdoms are directed mostly at woman and offer honest insight into one woman's perspective on life, career, marriage, motherhood and relationship with self. It is also a great read for any husband who's wondering how his once free-loving, spontaneous and generally happy wife is coping with turning 40 in the '90s.

Mary, the author and protagonist, is a transplanted New Yorker: a middle-aged mother and wife struggling to make ends meet while remaining sane and keeping the passion alive in her 16-year marriage. She lives in Los Angeles and owns a small photography business that derives most of its income from shooting wedding albums for the wealthy.

Her writing style is direct and clean, and her humor is razor-sharp. She gives helpful hints on how to pick a future husband ("Make sure he adores you, doesn't have kids and has a job") how to get on with the in-laws ("Don't worry about liking them, because you won't and visa-versa") and what to expect when you are pregnant (how it's really going to feel to deliver a football through a hole the size of a swivel stick).

She can laugh at herself, speaking honestly about the fear of picking out a bikini in a department store.

She fights through the racks with the cute group of 16-year-olds who think their size-6 bottoms double as parachutes to cover their "massive" butts.

Mortified, she scurries white-knuckled to the dressing room with her size 14 in hand only to have her self-esteem bowled down again because she realizes she hasn't shaved her bikini line in decades. But being upbeat, she figures if anyone is looking that closely, then So What! Big Deal! That can only mean that they weren't looking into her eyes at her soul, her inner self being the most attractive part of the whole package, and she concludes that it's as good a time as any to give up on vanity and what people think of you and just live for yourself and those you love. A truly liberating moment for any woman with middle-aged spread and cottage cheese on her thighs.

The tone of her advice is a mix between Baz Luhrman's "Just Wear Sunscreen" speech and a smart-assed bag lady, encompassing delightful chapters on home hair-dyeing kits to cover the gray, riding roller coasters to eliminate stress and birthing your child at home with a midwife.

This is a collection of daily journals, astute observations and wisdom compiled over four years. There is no beginning, middle or end -- it's not that neat. But is life ever? Instead there are chapters on growth of a woman into self-acceptance and humility. She has covered just about every major life phase that can be experienced. From her days as a stoned hanger-on of the '60s to an overscheduled minivan-driving, PTA-associated soccer mommy.

I felt like I had lost a confident and dear girlfriend once I reached the last page. Get it, read it, laugh and ponder. Believe me, it is a lot cheaper than therapy.

Malisa Caroselli works in TV animation on "King of the Hill" as a Associate Producer. In her free time she participates in both a writing group and book club.