Kosovar refugees who are grateful to be in the U.S. miss their homeland nonetheless
VIDEO CNN's Maria Hinojosa talks with a Kosovar family living in the U.S. but pining for the homeland Windows Media 28K 80K

In this story: Woman must leave husband behind RELATED STORIES, SITES

July 7, 1999
Web posted at: 10:37 p.m. EDT (0237 GMT)

From Correspondent Maria Hinojosa

WATERBURY, Connecticut (CNN) -- Many Kosovar Albanians had little choice but to leave their homes when they were forced out at gunpoint. But the several thousand Kosovar refugees now in the United States face the difficult decision of whether to stay in America or return to their homeland.

Seven members of the Marku family face that choice as they long for news about loved ones who are still missing.

One woman left her daughter behind when masked men told the family they had five minutes to leave their home and homeland, according to the Markus.

"I can't describe how bad it was at that moment," said Johanna Marku, 19, who was a medical student in Kosovo and now is training to become a nurse.

Johanna Marku had to come to the U.S. without her husband and her daughter

Another woman in the Marku family, Leaura Qasimi, had to leave the father of her newborn baby behind in the Balkans. She tries to think about the future, but sadness lingers.

"I appreciate what the United States of America is doing for us," Qasimi said. "I am free."

But while the Marku family lives with American conveniences, they are still not free of the psychological wounds of war.

"It's not like home," said 31-year-old Osmond Marku, who works the overnight shift in a factory making $10.50 an hour. "I'm not saying that living here is bad. It is good here, but it's not like being at home."

Home, in Kosovo, is where Johanna's husband was left behind.

"It's very different, because here there is democracy. I am free here," said Johanna. "But I mean there -- over there is my lovely, people

Even though the Markus take a normal afternoon stroll, they think of one of their daughters left behind

Now that the war is over, choices must be made. Do they stay so that the youngest son, who is often sad and withdrawn, can start school in September?

Do they stay and rebuild a life with the cousin who brought them here in the first place and who has asked them not to go back?

"Nowhere will they find a country like the United States," said the cousin, Argon. "So they are lucky, very lucky."

Should they stay in a place where even those who want to help, such as refugee counselors, can't seem to give them what the refugees really want?

"I can't take away the pain of loneliness and missing family and not knowing what is going on back there," said Myra Oliver of the International Institute of Connecticut

For now, they will stay, but like many other Kosovar refugees, their hopes and dreams are for another country far away.

"I want the best for my country, the best for my daughter and for other people to be free," said Johanna.

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