A teen mom copes with an unplanned pregnancy

January 9, 1996
Web posted at: 12:35 a.m. EST

From Correspondent Monica Santiago

ROSWELL, Georgia (CNN) -- At age 16, Sunshine Bailey found out she was going to be a mother.

During the next nine months she navigated the complex set of questions that all unwed teens face: Would she have the baby? Would she keep the baby? What would she tell her boyfriend? How would she tell her parents? How would she take care of the baby? Would she stay in school?

Like many teen-agers, Sunshine decided to keep her baby. Unlike many others, she decided to marry her boyfriend and finish her education at an alternative high school.

"I never liked traditional high schools," Sunshine said. "Most of the people were always partying, or they were drinking and smoking and I never got into all that, so when I moved here I met a lot of people that were in the same situation I was. They were pregnant or had children, and I made a lot of friends."

Matthew's father, Matt Bailey, 18, was Sunshine's first boyfriend. A month after their son was born, they were married.

"We wanted to wait until after he was born so that we knew we were getting married for us and not for him," Sunshine said. "I didn't want to look back on it and say the only reason I married (him) was because I was pregnant." (111K AIFF sound or 111K WAV sound)

"When she first told me it was like, disbelief, 'Nah, maybe the test is wrong.' It was a real scary time because I didn't know what to expect and I didn't know what was going to happen," Matt said. (145K AIFF sound or 145K WAV sound)

Sunshine's burden was eased somewhat by her mother, who was willing to help raise her grandson. While Sunshine juggles school and work, her mother looks after Matthew, now 9 months old.

"I knew my parents would help, but we don't really want to push them on him. We're the ones that took the chance, we should have to pay the price," Sunshine says.

"They made a mistake but, you know, who are you to cast stones? When you look back on your life, you've probably made a few mistakes, too," said Sunshine's mother, Janice Ledford. (68K AIFF sound or 68K WAV sound)

"It was really tough because we felt like she had lost a part of her childhood," said her father, Doug Ledford. "The only thing I could really say is, 'They're still your daughter and even though it's gonna hurt, and it may be a crushing blow, life does goes on.'" (238K AIFF sound or 238K WAV sound)

Sunshine appreciates the support her parents have given her. "I think we're very lucky. Our parents were both very understanding and they've helped us a lot."

Even with all the help, Sunshine has learned early that it takes a lot of responsibility to raise a baby.

"You have to remember that you're not the only one that matters anymore. When you do something, you've got to think about the consequences. What's going to happen to you? And what's going to happen to the baby? And you're not as free anymore," she said. "I wish that I were older when he was born."

And what will Sunshine tell her son about the circumstances of his birth?

"I'm never going to hide it from him, that I was pregnant before I was married," she said. "But I'm gonna sit him down and have a talk with him and tell him what happened so that maybe he would be more cautious and wait until he was married."

But Sunshine realizes that no matter what she teaches him, he may ignore the advice. "I may end up being a grandmother at 34 or 36, but I guess that's what I get. It'll be payback time."

A teen mom copes with an unplanned pregnancy

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