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Jodi Arias Testimony Recap
Aired March 11, 2013 - 20:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JODI ARIAS, CHARGED WITH MURDER: The camera, it slipped out of my hand. Travis flipped out again, screaming that I was a stupid idiot. He body-slammed me again on the tile.
I ran into the closet.
So he`s freaking out. I`m freaking out. He had already almost killed me. I wasn`t thinking when he almost killed me before that I was going to possibly die.
I grabbed the gun and I turned around and pointed it at him so that he would stop chasing me.
As he was lunging at me, the gun went off. I didn`t mean to shoot him or anything. I didn`t even think I was holding the trigger.
He said (EXPLETIVE DELETED) kill you, bitch.
No memory of stabbing him.
I just couldn`t believe what had happened and that I could take anything back! I couldn`t rewind the clock. I thought he was not alive.
I wished that it was just a nightmare that I could wake up from.
I couldn`t imagine calling 911.
I just wanted to die. I just wanted to go home.
I was on the fence about suicide. I wanted to kill myself, but I also knew that if I don`t kill myself (INAUDIBLE) arrested. So it`s one or the other.
I began to tell him things that I thought would comport with what the forensics would show.
I was very ashamed with what had happened.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
NANCY GRACE, HOST: Tonight, Jodi Arias on the stand in her own defense, Arias accused of stabbing Travis Alexander 29 times and then shooting him, she says in self-defense, a chance to defend herself on the witness stand, playing to the jury every chance she gets. But with no one to challenge her, Arias spews graphic and disturbing claims against Travis ranging from physical abuse to being a pedophile.
But while Arias talks the talk on direct, where`s the beef? Do you believe her? Or will Arias say anything to save her own skin? This is Jodi Arias on the stand in her own defense.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Did you kill Travis Alexander on June 4th, 2008?
ARIAS: Yes, I did.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Why?
ARIAS: The simple answer is that he attacked me and I defended myself.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Did -- at any point in time during that day, June 4th, 2008, did you make a conscious decision that, I want to kill Travis Alexander?
ARIAS: No. That was never a thought.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When you went to Mr. Alexander`s home on June 4th, 2008, was it ever your intent to leave him lying dead in the shower?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: While you were there at his home on June 4th, 2008, did you ever decide that you wanted to kill Mr. Alexander and leave him dead in the shower?
ARIAS: No. That was never my thought that I recall.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Did you want to kill Mr. Alexander on June 4th?
ARIAS: No. That was not a goal of mine.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Did you want to leave him like that?
ARIAS: That`s not how...
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Look at that picture. Did you want to leave him like that?
ARIAS: No, I didn`t.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Then why was he left like that?
ARIAS: That`s how things happened that day. That`s not what I...
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Then why did it happen?
ARIAS: It escalated after he attacked me. And I don`t remember the specifics, I just remember panicking. And I remember thinking he`s angry. And I remember him coming after me, and he was coming after me and he was coming after me and he wasn`t stopping.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Did you have any other choice?
ARIAS: When I was cornered, I didn`t feel like I did.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: After June 4th, you sent Mr. Alexander text messages, you sent him e-mails and you left him a voicemail. Do you recall those issues being brought to light throughout your testimony?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Why did you make those -- why did you contact him at all, regardless of the fashion?
ARIAS: I was -- I knew I had done something that I felt was wrong, and I was very scared about everything that was going to happen subsequent to that and how things were going to unfold. And I did those things after the fact to try and make it look like I hadn`t been there. I knew that likely wouldn`t hold up for long. I mean, we slept together that day. You know, all that stuff can be found out.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What in your mind did you do that was wrong?
ARIAS: I feel like maybe it should have been me, that maybe that I had made it out of there and I didn`t have a choice, but I -- maybe I did have a choice. I could have let him do what he was going to do and not fought back. And like I said, when I was at the Hoover Dam and I was leaving that message and I wasn`t thinking -- I don`t even know what state of mind I was in, but I wasn`t thinking that he died. I was just -- I knew that something awful had happened. And then following with the e-mails and those things, I knew what had happened was wrong. And my philosophy then is that it`s not OK to kill somebody under any circumstance.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You said he grabbed you.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Where did he grab you?
ARIAS: On the upper arms or -- and he spun me around and then grabbed my right arm.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: (INAUDIBLE) Did he grab both your arms?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK, at the time he grabbed both your arms, could you see his face?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Did you see anger in his eyes?
ARIAS: Yes. He looked pissed off.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Were you scared he was going to hit you?
ARIAS: I wasn`t thinking of that. He`d only done that one time, so I was scared he was going to throw me or something (INAUDIBLE) done before.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You said he grabs your arm, one of your arms, and spins you around?
ARIAS: He grabbed both of my arms, spun me around and then grabbed my right arm and twisted it behind my back.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When you say behind your back, did it hurt?
ARIAS: I don`t remember feeling pain.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What did he do when he had your arm behind your back?
ARIAS: He pressed his groin up against my butt. He kind of does the thrust briefly and then he starts pulling my pants down.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Did you believe that he wanted to have sex with you again?
ARIAS: Yes. I could feel that (EXPLETIVE DELETED).
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: At that point in time, did you want to have sex with Mr. Alexander?
ARIAS: Well, yes, actually I did, because it was better than him getting mad. I was actually relieved.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Relieved. And it was better than him being mad. What do you mean by that?
ARIAS: Because typically, when he had sex, it was his way of destressing, to use his term, and then he would -- calms down after that.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What was -- you said you were relieved to find out that he just wanted sex. In your mind, what was the more damming alternative? What was the more concerning alternative to just having sex?
ARIAS: I didn`t want his anger to escalate to levels that it had in the past.
I walked in and Travis was on the bed masturbating. And I got real embarrassed even though we had been intimate, like, more times than I could count. It was just kind of awkward walking in on him like that.
And I was headed toward the dresser, but then I stopped and I was trying to think of something funny or witty to say, like, Do you still need my help, or something. And he started grabbing at something on the bed, and I realized they were papers.
And as he was grabbing the papers, one -- one kind of went sailing off the bed and it fell in that chaotic pattern that paper falls, and it landed face up near my feet. And it was a photograph.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What was in the photograph? What was the photograph of?
ARIAS: It was a picture of a little boy.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Could you guess how old for us the little boy was?
ARIAS: Oh, 5-ish, 5, 6. I`m not a good judge of age.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Did you recognize the little boy?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Was the little boy dressed?
ARIAS: He was dressed in underwear, like briefs. I was frozen there for a minute -- well, maybe not a whole minute. But I didn`t know how to react. It kind of seemed like one of those dreams where something is really off, but you just can`t -- can`t figure it out. And so I left the angel there on the dresser and I turned (INAUDIBLE) and he called my name and I just ran. I didn`t stay. And I got in my car and started driving home again.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GRACE: When we come back, Jodi Arias in her own words, the stories shocking.
GRACE: Now you`ve just seen Jodi Arias take the stand and quickly admit she killed Travis Alexander. But that`s just the beginning. Pay close attention to her testimony. Do you see any explanation of self- defense here? What do you believe that jury is thinking?
Arias testifies she drives hours for oral sex, gets baptized as a Mormon, then makes a bee-line straight out of full-immersion baptism straight back for more anal sex while still wearing her church baptism clothes. Arias also claims she felt like, quote, "a prostitute," and quote, "a used piece of toilet paper." Oh, really? Listen to this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ARIAS: I hate to put it this way, but I felt a little bit used. But I knew I had gone there on my own willingly. So...
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What do you mean, though, that you felt used?
ARIAS: Well, you know, he gets a hotel room. I show up. We hang out. We have sex. He`s not really there presently, like, he`s not mentally present. I`m getting a lot of attention, but only while we`re engaging in sexual activity. And then we check out and he takes off. And I kind of felt like -- like a prostitute, sort of.
We were in my bedroom. We were not on the bed, but we were standing next to it. And we were kissing. And I was in my church clothes, he was in his church clothes. The kissing got more passionate, more intense, and then he spun me around and he bent me over the bed. And he was just on top of me. I didn`t think anything was -- I thought he was just going to keep kissing me.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What happened when he bent you over the bed? Were you face down on the bed or face up?
ARIAS: I was face down. My head was turned to the side.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What happened?
ARIAS: His hands were wandering and he lifted up my skirt and -- and he pulled down my underwear, and he was pressing against me.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What do you mean pressing against you?
ARIAS: His whole body.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Did he have an (EXPLETIVE DELETED)?
ARIAS: I could feel (EXPLETIVE DELETED).
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And what happened next?
ARIAS: He unzipped his pants and I guess he pulled them down. I didn`t see. But he began to have anal sex with me and...
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You said that he had anal sex with you. Based on what you said before, this wasn`t something that you were expecting to happen.
ARIAS: No, not that night.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Is this something that you wanted to happen?
ARIAS: Well, I can`t say I wanted to, but I didn`t stop him.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When he entered you, you said you didn`t stop him. Did you say anything? Did you tell him no?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Was it pleasurable for you physically?
ARIAS: That time, it was painful somewhat.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Given that it was painful, why didn`t you tell him no?
ARIAS: Eventually, I did. I probably would have just let him continue, but it was -- it became too painful.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Why do you say you probably would have just let him continue?
ARIAS: Because I knew that is what he had been wanting for a while. And I just -- I trusted him. I had a lot of trust. And he -- I just went with what he was -- with his agenda, I guess I could say.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This agenda you describe him having and this pain you were experiencing, did this go on for several minutes before you told him no?
ARIAS: I don`t think it went on too long, not several minutes, maybe a few.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And from what you`re telling us, it sounds like the only reason that you told him no or told him to stop was the pain, not your lack of interest in this activity, is that right?
ARIAS: That`s pretty accurate. I mean, I wasn`t looking forward to it, but definitely pain -- I had to -- I had to have him stop.
Shortly after he left, I felt -- I didn`t feel very good. I kind of felt like a used piece of toilet paper.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GRACE: Coming up, Jodi Arias and Travis Alexander both in their own words on a sex tape.
GRACE: It isn`t long before the Jodi Arias defense team turns to the sex tape, the Jodi Arias-Travis Alexander sex tape. Less than a month before he is stabbed to death, Arias tape-records Travis luring him into phone sex. Now, listen to her as she tries to explain why. And just what does this lurid, this XXX sex tape have to do with self-defense? Let me warn you this is graphic.
(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)
TRAVIS ALEXANDER, VICTIM: (INAUDIBLE) actually probably (INAUDIBLE) sounds like -- sounds like you`re a 12-year-old girl having her first orgasm. It`s so hot.
ARIAS: I know. Sounds like what?
ALEXANDER: A 12-year-old girl having her first orgasm (INAUDIBLE) hot little girl.
ARIAS: You`re mad! You make me feel so dirty.
ALEXANDER: You are dirty (INAUDIBLE)
ALEXANDER: (INAUDIBLE) baby, I just (INAUDIBLE) with you (INAUDIBLE) marathon.
(END AUDIO CLIP)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Were those real orgasms, or did you fake it?
ARIAS: I just faked it so that he could -- like, he was -- he was very mean to me during some of this period of time, at times, and when he wanted phone sex or something like that, he was really nice and I liked that side of him. So I wanted to prolong it and I guess you could say draw it out or enjoy it while it lasted because he would turn into Mr. Hyde soon.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)
ALEXANDER: I`m going to tie you to a tree and put it (EXPLETIVE DELETED)
ARIAS: Oh, my gosh! That is so debasing. I like it!
ALEXANDER: (INAUDIBLE) tie your arms around a tree (INAUDIBLE) blindfold you and (INAUDIBLE)
ARIAS: Oh, my gosh! You are full of ideas!
ARIAS: Oh, it does! Oh, we`ve gotten way creative (INAUDIBLE) I think (INAUDIBLE) credit, though, as far as the (INAUDIBLE) ideas. I`m game for, like, almost everything you come up with. But you really are a wellspring of ideas. You are, like, quite the source!
(END AUDIO CLIP)
GRACE: Next, the time arrives. Jodi Arias finally prepares to divulge just what happened before she kills Travis Alexander.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ARIAS: Whenever he got mad, it was like -- it was like being in an earthquake. Like, it starts, and you don`t know how long it`s going to last or how bad it`s going to get. He would get angrier and start (INAUDIBLE) he would continue to swear at me in the text messages.
"You stressing me out on a daily basis is getting really freaking old. You cry over everything and you dump countless bullcrap on me. Bitter feelings are brewing in me towards you. I`m sick of having days ruined by you. If it keeps up, I fear I will have a genuine dislike for you. I`m asking you before it gets to that to stop doing it before I start seeking revenge."
I don`t ever want to get another freaking text from you again or a call unless it is an apology and a thank you for constantly having to take on your never-ceasing problems. Not one freaking more.
I am trying to save my house, build a business amid so much conflict, and you don`t care about anything that doesn`t involve you. It is very upsetting and I am tired of it.
I was just -- I felt bullied. Like, it was just miserable. If he knew what I knew about you, he would spit in your face, so would everyone else. He wanted me to text it, but I didn`t want to talk about his issues in the text messages.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What do you mean, his issues?
ARIAS: His sexual attraction to children.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You were hoping to avoid his anger about you dating or seeing other men, is that right?
ARIAS: Yes. By this point, it was just pure wrath.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GRACE: Tonight, Jodi Arias on the stand in her own defense. Arias accused of stabbing Travis 29 times, then to top it all off, shooting him in the head, she says in self-defense.
She tries to defend herself on the witness stand. But while Arias talks the talk on direct, where is the beef? Just minutes before Alexander is dead, they were taking pictures together, sexual pictures. After days of innocuous babble, finally she addresses why we are all here, murder. Her defense, it`s all a huge gap. She can`t remember a thing.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ARIAS: I was taking pictures. I was probably a few feet from the shower so that the water didn`t get on the camera. And I was showing him the photos. And we were deleting some. And at one point, when I went to delete the photos, as I moved the camera it slipped out of my hand and I went -- it didn`t like fall right away. I kind of caught it, and I caught it like a football. Like it bounced and I almost caught it, but I didn`t catch it and it landed on the mat and then it rolled onto the tile.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And where were you when this took place relative to the shower?
ARIAS: I was crouched by the shower. I might have been on the mat or on the edge of the mat.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK. So what happens after you drop the camera?
ARIAS: At that point Travis flipped out again. And he stood up and he stepped out of the shower and he picked me up. I was crouching but he lifted me up as he was screaming that I was a stupid idiot. And he body slammed me again on the tile. He told me that a 5-year-old can hold a camera better than I can. He was screaming at me and there was spit coming out, or maybe it was water, but I was getting wet. And when I hit the tile, he was -- I rolled over on the side and started running down the hallway.
And I went -- I don`t know why I didn`t run out of the room. I ran into the closet because the door was open, was my thought.
When I grabbed the gun, I grabbed the gun, I ran out of the closet. He was chasing me. I turned around. We were in the middle of the bathroom. I pointed it at him with both of my hands. I thought that would stop him. If someone were pointing the gun at me, I would stop, but he just kept running. He got like a linebacker, he got kind of low and grabbed my waist. Before he did that, as he was lunging at me, the gun went off. I didn`t mean to shoot him or anything. I didn`t even think I was holding the trigger. I was just pointing it at him. And I didn`t even know that I shot him. It just went off and he was -- he lunged at me and we fell really hard against the tile towards the other wall, like kind of near the scales or whatever those things are.
So at this point, I didn`t even know if he had been shot. I didn`t see anything different. He was -- we were struggling and wrestling. He is a wrestler. He had wrestled in high school. And he was getting on top of me. And I didn`t want him to get on top of me, because when he had done that in the past, I can`t get out of those holds. So he is grabbing at my clothes. And I got out (ph) and he is just screaming angry. And after I broke away from him, he said I`m going to [EXPLETIVE DELETED] kill you, bitch.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Did, before he lunged at you, was he yelling at you and threatening you? To your recollection?
ARIAS: He was chasing me and he was pissed off.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you remember him yelling or saying anything?
ARIAS: He was calling me names because I dropped his camera.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you remember what those were?
ARIAS: Well, I remember him calling me a [EXPLETIVE DELETED] idiot. I remember him telling met that a 5-year-old can hold a camera better than me.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you remember saying anything to him as he lunged at you?
ARIAS: I don`t think so. I just was crying and running. And I pointed it at him, assuming that he would get the idea that -- to stop. He just wouldn`t stop.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What do you mean he wouldn`t stop?
ARIAS: After the gun went off, I thought, crap, because now he is really going to be pissed. I didn`t know that I shot him. I thought I shot a hole in the wall or something, and I`m thinking he`s really going to be pissed at me now. So now he is telling me he is going to kill me. I think I -- after he said that -- he had almost killed me before.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And what?
ARIAS: There`s a lot of that day that I don`t remember. There were a lot of gaps. I don`t remember the poses of the pictures. I remember them now that I have seen the pictures, but I didn`t remember them until I saw them. I remember taking pictures, I just don`t remember the pictures themselves, even though we looked at them. And now I see them, I remember them.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Once you broke away from him, what do you remember?
ARIAS: Almost nothing for a long time. There are some things that have come back over years. But nothing -- I don`t know if those are things that I`m thinking of from before or if it is that day. It`s confusing. There is like a huge gap. Like, I don`t know if I blacked out or what. There is a huge gap.
GRACE: Coming up, you just heard Jodi Arias describe shooting murder victim Travis Alexander, but inconsistencies linger. And what does Arias do after killing Alexander?
GRACE: On the stand, Arias says she shoots Alexander first, but has no memory of stabbing him, much less 29 times. But according to the medical examiner, Arias actually stabbed Alexander 29 times first, then shot him. Arias now describes how she throws away the gun, quote, "somewhere in the desert."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you remember stabbing Travis Alexander?
ARIAS: I have no memory of stabbing him.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you remember dragging him across the floor?
ARIAS: No. I just remember trying to get away from him.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you remember placing him in the shower?
ARIAS: I`m sorry, that`s a no.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You told us that after running away from him, you don`t have any clear memories of what happened after that until hours later, right?
ARIAS: I have a few memories, but nothing super clear.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Tell us about those memories.
ARIAS: I have a vague memory of putting the knife in the dish washer, but I put the knife in the dish washer before. So I don`t -- I am pretty sure it was that day.
I remember I was in the bathroom. I remember dropping the knife and it clinked (ph) to the tile. It made a big noise. And I just remember screaming. I don`t remember anything after that. Not immediately.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you remember where he was when you were screaming?
ARIAS: I think he was next to me on the floor. I don`t know.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you know where you were?
ARIAS: I was in the bathroom.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What else do you remember?
ARIAS: Not much.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Not much meaning nothing?
ARIAS: I just -- it`s not -- I remember more the feeling of that time, not pictures and things that I can bring back.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Tell us about the feeling.
ARIAS: It was like mortal terror. It was like he -- I pissed him off the worse I had ever seen him pissed off, and then I tried to stop him and then I piss him off more. And I thought (EXPLETIVE DELETED), I really, really pissed him off. And he was angry at me. And he wasn`t going to stop.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What do you mean by he wasn`t going to stop?
ARIAS: He wasn`t going to stop. He wasn`t stopping. He was --
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When you say he wasn`t going to stop, did you fear that he was going to kill you?
ARIAS: For sure, when he said kill you, yes. He almost killed me before, and now he was saying he was going to.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So when he said that to you, you believed him because of the past incidents?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Objection. Leading.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Sustained. Rephrase.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Why did you believe him when he said "I`ll kill you, bitch"?
ARIAS: Because he had never said that before, and he had taken me almost to that point without that threat, and now he was clearly making that threat. I couldn`t -- I just couldn`t believe what had happened. I couldn`t take anything back what had just happened. It was like I couldn`t rewind the clock.
I remember driving -- I thought I was driving west because I remember the sun was in my eyes for a while. I didn`t know where I was going. I didn`t have my GPS anymore. I hit a lot of stop lights, so I don`t know that I was on the freeway. I hit a lot of stop lights, and then eventually I was in the desert. I don`t know where. It got dark.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When you were pulling away and driving away, did you have the gun with you?
ARIAS: I don`t remember bringing the gun with me, but I remember throwing it.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Throwing it where?
ARIAS: In the desert. I don`t know how full my realization was, but I knew that it was really bad, and that my life was probably done now. I wished that it was just a nightmare that I could wake up from. And then just find out that everything was still the same way.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Did you still love him?
ARIAS: Yes. I did.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you still love him now?
ARIAS: Yes, it`s a different love, but yes, I do.
GRACE: Coming up, Arias` long, strange journey after she kills Travis Alexander.
GRACE: Under oath, Arias admits she leaves a voice mail for Alexander to try and cover her tracks, recording the voice mail over and over, so it would sound just right. You listen.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ARIAS: Anyway, right about the time you are starting to gear up, I know Leslie called you, I already talked to her, so, you can call her back if you want, but it`s not necessary. My phone died, so I wasn`t getting back to anybody. And what else, oh, I drove 100 miles in the wrong direction, over 100 miles, thank you very much. So yeah. Remember New Mexico? So it was a lot like that, only you weren`t here to prevent me from going into the three digits, so fun, fun. I`ll tell you all about that later.
Also, when we were talking about your upcoming travels my way, I was looking at the May calendar, duh, so I`m all confused. Heather and I are going to see "Othello" on July 1st, and we would love for you to accompany us. I don`t know when Team Freedom (inaudible) is, though, but you know, it`s on the list, so we could do, we could do Shakespeare, Crater Lake and the coast, so if you can make it. If not, we`ll just do the coast and Crater Lake. But let me know. And I will talk to you soon. Bye.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ARIAS: I knew that my life was pretty much over, but I was -- I didn`t want anyone to know that that had happened or that I did it. So I started taking steps at what I could do in the aftermath of it to try to cover up that I was there. So I did a whole bunch of things to try to make it seem like I was ever there. Maybe I should leave a voice mail. So I left, I called his phone to leave a voice mail.
I didn`t really know what I was going to say. I just thought at this point I told Ryan I got lost, and I told Leslie the same thing. And his voice mail picked up. And I started trying to say that too, but I was, I was crying, and I was trying to make -- to sound cheery. But I was crying. And so I would hit pound, and I would listen to that message and it didn`t sound right. So I would delete it and I would try again. And that one -- I started crying in the message, that one didn`t sound right, so I deleted it and I would try again. And then I was talking too fast in this one or I started crying in that one.
So finally I just, frustrated because this call was a long time, and I hit pound again. I erased the message by hitting 3. And then I started recording it again. And then I listened to it that time and it`s like, OK, it`s good enough. I`m going to leave that. And so I had that message sent.
GRACE: Next, more disturbing testimony from Arias.
GRACE: Arias doesn`t initially say she killed Travis Alexander in self-defense, oh, no. She`s now actually given three different versions of what happened.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ARIAS: As the years went by, however, I began to -- it feels very fraudulent from day one, especially when there are so many nice people reaching out to you, and they believe you or they believe in you. It just feels -- it doesn`t feel right. It feels fraudulent. Feels wrong. My family also remained very supportive and told me that it doesn`t matter what happens. We love you anyway. And I realize at that point that even if I told the truth that they would still be there and they wouldn`t walk away.
So, it was around -- it was -- it evolved. It was a process that happened over a long period of time, but by the time spring 2010 rolled around, I confessed. I basically told everyone what -- what I could remember of the day, and that the (inaudible) all BS pretty much.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Why should anybody believe you now?
ARIAS: Like I said before, all of my -- I lied a lot in the beginning. And each of those lies tied back directly to two things, Travis and protecting his ego -- or I mean his reputation. And my own partially. And two, related to any involvement in his death.
So I understand that there will always be questions, but all I can do at this point is say what happened to the best of my recollection. And if I`m convicted, then that`s because of my own bad choices in the beginning.
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GRACE: Everyone, thank you for being with us. I`ll see you tomorrow night, 8:00 sharp Eastern. And until then, good night, friend.