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Preview: South Park for PC

January 18, 1999
Web posted at: 3:30 PM EST

by Nash Werner


(IDG) -- WARNING: This video-game preview contains foul language, PC favoritism, and references to Chef's Chocolatey Balls. Continued reading can lead to ill-mannered behavior and bad temperaments. Proceed with caution.

What could possibly be more fun than cuddling up with Chef beside the fireplace for some good old-fashioned ~#!@%? Well, how about Acclaim's South Park game for the PC? Yep, now believes that playing this upcoming shooter will be a lot more fun than getting buck-wild with Chef--no matter how tasty his Chocolatey Balls are.

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In coming to the PC, the South Park game will gain new options and control schemes not available in the Nintendo 64 version. Multiplayer games over a LAN or the Internet will allow individual players to have their own screen rather than a dinky quarter-screen, making deathmatches more immersive. And, of course, you'll get to aim with a mouse instead of that nasty little analog stick.

South Park: The Game's story takes place in the show's all-too-familiar Colorado town. Like some twisted version of Deep Impact, the townsfolk, mutant turkeys, and space aliens go crazy upon hearing news of a giant meteor heading straight for Earth. Playing one of the four South Park youngsters, you must somehow save the world, the town, and yes, even Mr. Garrison.

As you go, you'll nab a variety of weapons--though they're not exactly standard Half-Life-issue. Think snowballs, dodgeballs, a Toilet Plunger Launcher, a Sponge Dart Gun, a Super Sniper Chicken,
Hey! #!@%?   
Dr. Mephisto's Warpo Ray, a Cow Launcher, and a top-secret weapon based on alien technology known only as the Dancing Gizmo! And it gets better: Each weapon has an alternative firing feature that does more damage, affects more enemies, or basically just looks funny. For example, instead of just throwing a snowball, you can have one of the children urinate on it first--creating one very yellow snowball.

South Park PC is basically the N64 version (available in stores now) on crack! We're talking higher resolution, quicker frame-rates, and Internet multiplayer capabilities. Though it won't be available until late January/early February, the PC version is looking really good.

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