Of marriage and divorce

By CNN's Avril Stephens

Lady Diana Spencer entered the royal family as Prince Charles' bride with the Queen Mother's approval

LONDON, England (CNN) -- The Queen Mother moulded the image of the royal family into one that would have to cope with the intrusions of radio and television.

Coming from a Scottish aristocratic family as the ninth of 10 children, she had the needed credentials -- including shrewdness, toughness and a strong will.

She was a reluctant royal, twice turning down her future husband's proposals of marriage.

But after marrying George, the Duke of York -- known as Bertie -- at Westminster Abbey in April 1923, and becoming Queen Consort at their coronation following the abdication of King Edward VIII, the Queen Mother went on to shape the character of King George VI's reign.

She also instilled a doctrine of duty into the modern monarchy -- a theme taken up by daughter Queen Elizabeth II and grandson Prince Charles.

The Queen Mother blamed her brother-in-law's 1936 abdication for her husband's premature death 16 years later and was never to be reconciled with Edward or his American wife, Wallis Simpson, who acquired the titles of Duke and Duchess of Windsor.

She was said to detest Simpson, calling her in a 1940 letter to the Colonial Secretary, Lord Lloyd, the "lowest of the low" and was instrumental in securing the couple's exile from Britain.

But The Guardian newspaper quoted her as saying in 1987: "I didn't hate her. I just felt sorry for her by the end."

The Queen Mother (seated) with (from left) Princess Margaret, Prince Andrew and Princess Anne, in December 1990

She was a firm believer in the sanctity of marriage, and her and George's 29-year union was a picture of conjugal bliss.

A year after the king's death she still wore black and was only shaken out of her grief by the cajoling words of then-Prime Minister Winston Churchill, who convinced her that she could not exist in a permanent state of mourning like that of Queen Victoria following the death of her beloved Albert.

The Queen Mother was to endure further family problems when three of her grandchildren's marriages ended in divorce, as did her daughter Margaret's, after often very bitter public break-ups.

Despite it being commonly held that Queen Elizabeth II's husband, Prince Philip, forced Charles to marry Lady Diana Spencer in 1981, it was the Queen Mother who was the brains behind the courtship and marriage of her favourite grandchild, and one of the factors in the timing of its acrimonious end.

Many thought the Prince of Wales would avoid, at all costs, ending the marriage during the lifetime of his beloved grandmother.

But Princess Diana's appearance on the BBC's Panorama TV programme, in which she described her marriage as having been "crowded" because of Charles' relationship with Camilla Parker-Bowles, hastened the end.

The Queen Mother was reported to have found Diana a great disappointment and described her at the height of the marriage troubles as "that silly creature," according to a monthly newsletter The Royal Report.

But when Diana, Princess of Wales, was killed in a Paris car crash, the Queen Mother mourned with Diana's children, Princes William and Harry, as well as the nation, at the funeral service at Westminster Abbey in 1997.

Another disappointment to the Queen Mother was Sarah Ferguson, who had earlier won her approval in her marriage to Prince Andrew, Duke of York. However, the Queen Mother was reportedly "deeply upset" by the publication by a tabloid newspaper of holiday photos of a topless Duchess of York embracing American businessman John Bryan.

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