Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Paris before and after
Now that Paris Hilton is settling into her expected 23-day stay in jail for transgressions against mankind, one can only hope that her stay in the pokey will erase, or at least dilute, the delusional and masochistic qualities that seem to swarm in her DNA.

Rewind the clock to Sunday and the MTV Movie Awards. In fact, note it in the history books. I can't swear by it but I think it may have been the first -- and hopefully only -- time in recorded history that someone who was headed to the lockup first walked the celebrity red carpet at an event, went to the event, then checked themselves into jail. Because, incredibly, that's exactly what Paris did. But not before making our heads spin in disbelief like the Aflac duck who walks out of a barber shop apoplectic after listening to Yogi Berra-babble.

On the red carpet, here's what Paris told us: "I feel like the media portrays me in a way that I'm not." (Watch Paris on the red carpet)

Huh? How's that?

Oh, you mean the sex tapes? Or the party tapes featuring Paris spewing ugly racial and homophobic epithets? Or did she mean the let's-humiliate-Lindsay Lohan "firecrotch" tape? Or was it the new season of "The Simple Life" in which the opening episode featured her and Nicole Richie as camp counselors at a so-called "Fat Camp" where they squealed in seeming delight as they administered enemas to overweight campers?

Now let me ask a question. Or two. If YOU were already facing public humiliation and disgrace, would you not want to slink away and do everything possible NOT to bring attention to yourself? Would you really want to go in front of some of the most aggressive reporters in the business and subject yourself to questions? Would you then want to THEN go into an event (the MTV Movie Awards) that was being broadcast nationwide, a show that was guaranteed to zoom in on you repeatedly while the host of the show made relentless and biting fun of you, a host (Sarah Silverman) known for taking no prisoners?

And served a softball, Silverman cranked her bat like a propeller and knocked it out of the park. After announcing that Paris was going to jail, a roar of cheers went up from the crowd as Paris squirmed in her seat. And then came Silverman's crack of the bat. "As a matter of fact, I heard that to make her feel more comfortable in prison, the guards are going to paint the bars to look like penises."

As we count down the days till Paris gets out of lockdown, we will wait to see if a new and improved Paris will emerge from the pokey. Wanna bet?
Good work Dave!
You spelled out what people have been thinking for weeks now. There will be no change to her (or the other girls like her for that matter) when she emerges from prison. At least, and thankfully she is actually in jail, which can only serve as a wake up call for these women to set an example and use their public image for good.
New and improved Paris? Come on. This whole scenario is perfect for her. Look at the press she is getting. Because she has absolutely no talent, Paris Hilton NEEDS these type of events in her life to keep those huge appearance fees rolling in. Actually, 23 days in the lock-up is a small price to pay for the mileage she will get from it when she gets out.
Frankly, as dumb as she acts, I think Paris is a very smart cookie. She's laughing all the way to the bank....or the lock-up.
She is not new, will never improve, and IMHO will continue to crave the spotlight for the remainder of her useless life.
Picking on Paris is a lot like someone picking on the class dork. Everyone might get this sort of mob mentality and go with it in the moment, but if you step back for a minute, its kind of mean, and totally banal. If we're going to pick on someone why don't we pick on someone who actually deserves ridicule? Like the bully, instead of the bullied? Picking on Paris is about as fresh as making Borat references. And, its sort of mean.
I find this rude and disgraceful. Maybe she wants attention but that doesn't mean you need to give it to her in a rude manor. That's sinking to her level. Maybe she is a little off balance, but that is who she is, and why certain people like her. Sarah Silverman was rude to do that on national television. So thats what i think.
I don't think she'll come out any different than when she went in. I mean, come on. She's been milking the media for every ounce of publicity she can get, as is evidenced by her appearance at the MTV Awards show. Nothing is "sacred" with Ms. Hilton.

Others may go to prison and feel humbled; visit a third world country and feel blessed for what they have; or visit a homeless shelter and feel a desire to lend a helping hand. I don't see that happening with Paris. Quite frankly, who REALLY cares? Too much time and energy is spent following the Paris Hiltons, Lindsay Lohans, and Nicole Ritchies of our society, and not enough time and energy is spent where it's really needed (i.e., global warming, homelessness, HIV/AIDS, Africa, education, etc.)

It's my hope that Paris will "grow up" during her short stint in the penal system, and that the media in turn will grow up and start to focus on what really matters - doing something good and worth while to benefit their fellow human being(s).
Why is anything about this chick news? Why are we doing a day one/day two diary of this person who really has not contributed anything worthwhile to the human race? I will forever be in awe of the apparent lack of anything else newsworthy going on in the world that brings this kind of uselessness to the presses. I feel for the rest of the people of the world who do more than waste precious oxygen the rest of us could be using. There are much more interesting people/stories/usefulness that could be taking up the gigabytes.

Please, for God's Sake, find something worthwhile to write about.
Dave, I love you. I mean, I really love you. No where else can a reader find such a highlight in a dull day than to read your blogs. That said, on to Paris. Paris Hilton will probably learn nothing from her time in prison... proves that as much as Americans marginalize the educational system, Paris Hilton should prove a perfect example of how an "uneducated" person behaves - ignorant not only of society, but of their own self worth. I guess money can't buy happiness afterall. Kudos to Sara Silverman for speaking the truth, even on MTV.
I think this report is absolutely great. I really pitty Miss Hilton. However I dont entirely blame her, I blame in part her parents for raising a spoiled brat.
Paris Hilton, Michael Jackson...the list goes on and on. Its moments like these that keep you from going , 'HEY, how bout that war in Iraq?!'

merely a distraction from the real problems in the world. The most sickening part is she'll make money off of this. And all little girls everywhere will be riding their barbie cars with no panties on and empty coke cans in the passenger seat in hopes that one day, ONE GLORIOUS DAY, they'll go to prison just like Paris.

its a fantastic world we live in. Please note my sarcasm. Please.
why does everyone focus on the "bad" things that these girls have done? i'm sure if snippets of anyone's darkest, most intoxicated, or most irresponsible moments were compiled and posted all over the TV and magazines, the general public would see the person as "bad". she's a person. i think it's ignorant to think that she is who you see on TV and in gossip magazines. thanks for the high-school level blog. find something relevant to write about.
I suspect Paris will not learn anything. More than likely, she simply feels she does not deserve to be there, and feels sorry for herself.

A 16 year old girl I used to babysit for told me last year that she loved Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan and wanted to be them. I can only hope she has changed her mind and sees what a life without responsibility or consequences can lead to.
Paris was raised in a family of "royalty". She is use to people doing everything for her (for the most part.)
calling her life "useless" as seen in an earlier comment, is unbelievable to me. To that person, I say examine your own life first, maybe you’re disposable in someone elses eyes.
I am so tired of people analyzing Paris. She is doing her time and trying to get through this drama. It doesn’t help when people, like some who commented here, wont get off her back. I know everyone has a right to there opinion, but seriously, is putting her down necessary, or is just a reaction to your personal set backs…or maybe its just plain ol’ jealousy. at any rate…leave Paris be.
who's useless here...
this is unbelievable to me. To that person that said Paris's life is useless, I say examine your own life first, maybe you’re the disposable one in someones eyes.
I am so tired of people analyzing Paris. She is doing her time and trying to get through this drama. It doesn’t help when people, like some who commented here, wont get off her back. I know everyone has a right to there opinion, but seriously, is putting her down necessary, or is just a reaction to your personal set backs…or maybe its just plain ol’ jealousy. at any rate…leave Paris be.
I can only say that it's about time the HEIRheads find out that they are NOT above reproach, and I sincerely hope that the message to the masses get sent. Paris Hilton, and those of her ilk are NOT idols, celebs or anyone to be admired. They are brats that have been pampered and catered to for far too long. It's not the SIMPLE Life so much as it is the Life of the Simpleton....enjoy that reduced jail sentence Paris...the rest of us would have no choice but to do the full time, blame the parents AND the brats themselves...
No talent? She is probably the most know woman on earth this week. Who is the dope, I would say Dave Levine, Executive Producer and all you people who think that you know Paris Hilton well enough to call her spoiled. Lets see you live under the microscope and see how your "superior intelligence" make you into a world known celebrity.
Isn't the problem with Paris that her father decided to may a ditsy trophy wife. While he was making millions, his wife was raising some pretty awful kids. You would think he would care more about his legacy than having a "hot" wife. I guess you get what you pay for.
How about everyone just stop writing about her? I thought we'd at least get a 20-day vacation from having to read about her. No one followed Lohan into rehab. Let's not follow the whiny Hilton anymore and maybe, just maybe, no one will care when she gets out of jail.
Great article.
I just wanted to say a few words that i have been thinking lately. On monday i walk into a WAWA and all i see is Paris Hilton's face in the front cover of every respectfull newspaper. I mean, come on, there isnt anything else to write about in this world? I have lived here for 4 years and i have never felt such lack of information in my entire life! I just want to remind reporters that people who read the paper are not 13 year old kids about to hit adolesence. There is so much more going on in the world today that is more important than following around a high school drop out such as Paris Hilton.

It is a shame that people like Paris, Nicole or Lindsay are becoming role models to our young girls all over the world. I am sick and tired of the attention that the media pays to people like them. What are we teaching our next generations? Sex tapes, eating disorders and low self esteem?
Sentencing Paris to jail time will do nothing but aggravate her inflated self-image. Some real rehabilitation might have been achieved had she been sent to Africa to do some volunteer work. Unfortunately, that would be missing the point of Paris, wouldn't it? As much as I think she is a waste of humanity, there IS something about humanity that wants to follow her life.
What has Paris contributed to society? NADA folks! Perhaps she can use her wealth for something useful like education or environmental awareness. I doubt anything good will come of this. She will go back to partying, clubbing and basically doing nothing for anyone but herself. Her parents should be ashamed!
after watching the miserable sarah silverman make mean and completrely distasteful 'joke' about paris .. i actually started feeling sorry for paris..
need anyone be reminded that they are not perfect? There are hosts of folks out there making sex tapes. and whether or not you agree with, it doesn't make her a horrible person.

Paris is a 20-something. As a 20-something, she's bound to make mistakes. The only difference is that she's in the media. think about an incident you weren't particularly proud of, and then think about having it broadcast over the world.

writing pieces, and making jokes about 'penis bars', makes you no more better than the firecrotch comment.
Maybe she will understand one day that "SHE" is not above the law. I think she should serve more time!
It is amazing to me, as a US citizen living in China, to watch the masochistic (spelling?) antics of that woman.
not to sound like a prick but...people who can't spell words like "manner" or "pity" should shut the f*ck up. Your opinion doesn't matter. You read the article. Nobody made you read the article. Reading an article about Paris Hilton and then bitching that someone wrote that article is grade A retarded.
Have you nothing better or more interesting to do than pick on a little girl? Paris is making many of the mistakes that little girls her age make, but on a larger scale. You've never made fun of someone, driven under the influence, or broken a law? Hmmm...I doubt that, how about you take that education of yours and write about something with meaning. Or maybe, you enjoy writing as a hypocrite.
Don't even wish for as second she will change. She has too much going for her, money, looks, fame, to go down the path of self awareness. What's 23 days compared to the post publicity she is getting? And yes she is one smart cookie. She will milk it for all its worth by appearing to be contrite. Awww c'mon, give us a break. Its bad enough she is useless and brainless, but don't expect the rest of the world to be. Its such an insult to millions of others who fight battles everyday just to have the right to live!
HAAA paris Hilton change?? That's like saying a fish will turn into a goat...eventually..well no it wont!! and Paris Hilton isn't going to become this all of a sudden caring brillant person who gives to the poor and wayy..she's gonna go back to buying crap she doesnt need that costs well over a few thousand dollars, going to still be America's number one sell-out, oh and lets not forget her on and off friendships with the other whores who can't figure out better things to do with themselves...

god what the BLEEP is going on with our SOCIETY??!?!?!?!??!!
How is she going to change?

Would she learn the difference between being jailed for a real crime or just being jailed like she was 10 years ago for lost ambitions on her behalf by her family.

A lot of people have recognize her from one of the most feared private prisons for teens this earth have seen - CEDU. She was jailed there like many others like her due to the crime of being a teenager.

When she escaped from this facility she was caught and brought to a similar facility in Utah, where she was hidden for the world until she suddenly emerged and began to live her life.

Was it "I have done the time, so now I will commit the crime"?

It seems hard to be locked up alone for 23 hours per day and being search in a very private spot, but this was also standard at CEDU and for her entire stay, which in such places are numbered to a specific time, she only had possibility to write letters to her family. Now she at least can talk in a phone.

I dont think that she has something to learn. I think that she should move to Europe and live a more relaxed life, where such a behavior is quiet common by teenagers. In Denmark where I live we have no age-limit on alcohol drinking and a limit on 16 year for alcohol purchase. Her behavior would not lift a eye-brow.

So my advice to her: Leave the country and live your life!
Alright people, what we are forgetting here is the fact that Paris has never had to take responsibility for anything in her life. Mommy and daddy made sure of that. They never seemed to be around that much, being the New York socialites that they are, and it seems the only time you really see them with their child is when she has gotten herself into a dilemma that seemed to require more than the family lawyers presence. And it is because of the way she was brought up that she has this deluded sense of self importance with an obese dose of delusional superiority above the rest of society living out our mundane lives. This is a child, I say child because adults have responsibilities and are usually productive members of society, and acting out in the only way she knows how to get a reaction from anyone especially her parents. She never had the parental attention she wanted and needed. Throughout her life you can see and in some cases watch the various things she has done to get their attention. So in that regard I feel sorry for her because she is the product of parental neglect. It doesn’t matter how much money you have or don’t have, if you are a parent who has neglected your child you better believe you’re going to see some deviant behavior as a result of your actions. I don’t believe this will reform Paris because as soon as her parents see that she is alright they will run off yet again until she does something else. Hopefully she’ll learn from her mistakes before something even worse happens to her.
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