M O V I E R E V I E W
'American Werewolf' scores a zero
January 17, 1998
Web posted at: 3:22 p.m. EDT (1522 GMT)
From Reviewer Paul Tatara
(CNN) -- I remember back in 1981 when John Landis' "An
American Werewolf in London" came out. I was a
chowder-headed high schooler, and my buddies and I thought
the movie was a real blast.
It had a little bit of everything -- snide comedy, horror,
special effects and a great-looking nurse with a British
accent who liked to take her clothes off.
Striking nearly 20 years after the iron has cooled, director
Anthony Waller now brings us "An American Werewolf in Paris,"
which is just like the first one except that it isn't funny,
isn't particularly frightening and contains questionable
(although computer-generated) special effects. The nurse is
nowhere to be seen, but they did manage to include a cute
naked woman. This one's French, just like the title.
Oh, to be 18 again. I saw that original film again a couple
of years ago and it's not much to talk about, but there are
still a few fun elements to it.
The problem with "An American Werewolf in Paris," though, is
that it's absolutely nothing to talk about. Zero.
Zip. It just happens, then you go home.
Looking for love?
Tom Everett Scott, who was so agreeable as Tom Hanks' alter
ego in "That Thing You Do," stars as Andy, an American
college student who's traveling through Europe with his two
highly unlikable friends. They're trying to garner what they
call "sex points" by sleeping with as many women as possible.
Andy isn't participating, though, because he's deeper than
that. He's lookin' for love, gosh darn it, not just sex.
I hope you memorized that, because it constitutes the entire
character. You don't think he's going to turn into a
werewolf, do you? Well, yeah, but not so fast, smarty-pants.
First he has to stumble upon the pretty, sometimes naked
young woman. That would be Julie Delpy, who I usually enjoy
to some degree, but, in this case, seems to be delivering a
classic "take the money and run" performance. In most movies
it's a requisite that the romantic leads "meet cute." "An
American Werewolf in Paris" has moved a step beyond this
formula by having Scott and Delpy "meet bad."
Get a load of this. Scott, in an attempt to impress his
simpleton friends, prepares to take a bungee jump off the
Eiffel Tower after it's shut down for the night. That's what
I said. After strapping the cord to his legs, he spots Delpy
standing on the Tower's railing, preparing to dive to her
death -- not a bad idea when you consider she's a werewolf
... or when you consider the script, for that matter.
Delpy leaps just as Scott reaches for her, so he goes over,
too. He catches her by the ankles in mid-freefall and drops
her lightly to the ground just as his bungee cord snaps him
back into the air, where he hits his head against a steel
girder. He winds up in the hospital. I guess this is the
Gameboy-rattled '90s version of having them smack their
shopping carts into each other at the grocery store.
Scott eventually gets bitten after tracking Delpy down, and
winds up morphing into a wolf-thingy whenever the movie
starts to drag, which, realistically speaking, should have
been about every three minutes.
Sprouting fangs
There's some supposedly frightening foolishness about
werewolves in Paris (aside from the tower sequence, the movie
could just as easily have been set in Minneapolis) being
hipsters who've come up with a drug that allows them to
sprout fangs whenever they want, instead of having to wait
for a full moon.
They also dance to au courant music, although I don't know
why anyone should care. I never wondered if Lon Chaney Jr.
was getting down to Glenn Miller during his off hours.
I don't have to tell you that things eventually get
incredibly messy, but that's exactly what I'm talking about.
I don't have to tell you anything at all about this
movie.
I knew I wasn't the only one losing interest when the guy in
front of me at the theater proceeded to have a lengthy
conversation on his cell phone while the story played itself
out. Only in New York would the person on the other end not
wonder what all the screaming was about. I would suggest,
however, that if you're an 18-year-old chowder-head, you
might want to go see it so you can look back in 2015 and
wonder what the hell you were thinking.
"An American Werewolf in Paris" contains blood, French
nudity, dismemberment and that song by Smash Mouth that was
actually good the first 673 times you heard it. Rated R.
100 minutes.