Sex during pregnancy: A time of excitement and intimacy

September 14, 1999
Web posted at: 11:22 AM EDT (1522 GMT)

In this story: Are orgasms safe? Comfortable positions Range of feelings Sex doesn't have to stop RELATEDS

By Sandor Gardos, Ph.D.

(WebMD) -- This article is the second of a two-part series on sex during pregnancy.

In the first article of this series, we discussed the changes in a pregnant woman's body that can affect the way she feels about sex. Now, we'll address the safety of orgasms, sexual positioning and the partner's feelings.

Are orgasms safe?

Unless you have been told to avoid orgasms, there is absolutely no reason to stop having them, whether through sex with a partner or by masturbating. In fact, many women report that they have orgasms more easily, frequently and intensely when they are pregnant. Masturbation will not hurt your baby. You may even use a vibrator, although it is advisable to use it near your clitoris, rather than inside the vagina. Mutual masturbation with your partner can also be a great alternative if either of you does not feel like having intercourse or is unable to have it. Occasionally, women may feel contractions during orgasm that they worry may be the beginning of labor. These contractions are short-lived and are no cause for concern. They are not the same as labor contractions, which grow more frequent and intense as labor progresses. However, if you experience contractions that seem to be lasting too long (more than an hour), contact your doctor.

Comfortable positions

As pregnancy advances, many women find that avoiding pressure on the abdomen and more shallow penetration during intercourse makes sex more enjoyable. Even if intercourse is not possible or comfortable, however, other activities can still be intensely pleasurable. Although some positions may be uncomfortable or difficult, this is a great time to share and experiment with new ways of sexual (and nonsexual) expression. It may be necessary to modify sexual positions, or find new ones. The "missionary position" (with the man on top of the woman) may be awkward if you are pregnant, but many couples find side-by-side, woman-on-top and rear-entry positions to be more comfortable. This is especially true during later stages of pregnancy, when it is not recommended that women lie on their back or stomach.

Range of feelings

Because our standards of sexual attractiveness do not usually include pregnant women, most women probably feel themselves unattractive or undesirable at some point during their pregnancy. However, many men and women delight in the bodily changes and enhanced sensitivity. This was the case with Mark and Marilyn. The San Francisco couple found Marilyn's pregnancy to be a highly sensual time. "We could hardly believe how interesting a time it was for us sexually," says Mark. "It felt as though we were brand-new to each other." Marilyn agrees. "I was so sensitive that I could get a 'thrill' from his lightest touch."

On the other hand, men can experience conflicting emotions during their partner's pregnancy. Some men are fine until their partner becomes obviously pregnant, at which point they may lose interest in sex. There are even some men who are so worried about harming the baby that they develop erectile difficulties. Men may need reassurance that the fetus is well cushioned within the uterus by the fluid that surrounds it and that the tightly closed neck of the uterus provides a firm barrier between it and the outside world. And, in case you are wondering, the baby has no idea what you are doing!

Sex doesn't have to stop

Pregnancy need not and should not be the end of sexuality. Intimacy, eroticism and sexual satisfaction can increase and continue throughout all stages of pregnancy, even if intercourse must be avoided. If you are sensitive and aware of the changes in both your body and feelings, as well as accepting of the need for adjustment, this can actually be a time of special excitement and intimacy.

RELATEDS AT :

Sexuality and pregnancy
Sexuality

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RELATED SITES:

Healthy pregnancy from the FDA
The National Women's Health Information Center

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