This senior-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid;
Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
The anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents.

--Shakespeare, Love's Labours Lost

The daisy hangs limply from your hand... she loves you not. Bummer. But you didn't need a stinking flower to tell you that. The fact that she tried to hot glue you to your mailbox was what truly spelled the end. So you're left with a tattoo that says, "Rita Forever" and a bag of hacked up of bits that was your heart.

Almost half of American women, 46 percent, agree that a good night's sleep is better than sex. Sixty-eight percent of men disagreed with that notion.
-- Harlequin Romance Report 1996

CNN Interactive Stories

Read the fine print and take out the trash, dear: Couple's prenuptial agreement covers all - Feb. 14, 1996



A bouquet of Valentine's Day trivia - Feb. 14, 1996



11 beers a week, 5-10 sex partners? You're an average guy - Feb. 14, 1996



Don't be lonely, log on! - Feb. 11, 1996



Lisa Marie Presley Jackson files for divorce - Jan. 18, 1996



Congresswoman says she was duped by her husband - December 11, 1995



Blondie, Dagwood see marriage counselor - October 19, 1995



'Til 1995 do they part - a year-in-review feature on celebrity couples who split up in 1995

The rumble in the jungle is that
40 percent of Americans say that they
have been caught snoring.
Thirty percent hog the covers and
22 percent talked in their sleep.
-- Harlequin Romance Report 1996

Ways to get through Valentine's Day
and ways to exact revenge on the ex:

• Leave your dirty socks in your ex's mailbox.
• Get together with your friends and have an ex-boyfriend bash, complete with pictures for the dart board.
• Make a prune bouquet and leave it on her doorstep.
• Return your engagement ring in a bucket of lard.
• Make his favorite cake with your toenail clippings as garnishes in the icing that make a smiley face design.
• Mail her week-old fish.
• Return his favorite jacket with oatmeal in the pockets.
• Speak high school French on her answering machine until
• it fills up.
• Tell her it's over by writing messages on her eggs with a
• grease pencil.
• Videotape yourself giving him a kiss-off message and leave it in his VCR.

Fifty-five percent of Americans
say that they watch TV in bed.
-- Harlequin Romance Report 1996

(Ed. Note: No figures are available on how many Americans surf the web in bed.)

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