May 10, 2000
Web posted at: 4:00 p.m. EDT

(CNN) -- Adolescents struggle with identity and acceptance making them particularly vulnerable to the lure of peer pressure and outside-the-family influence. The Internet provides a seemingly safe place for teens to gather and talk about their problems. But the world of cyberspace is anything but safe. In a place where imposters flourish and whole identities can be manufactured on a whim, the young and the trusting are easy marks.

In an attempt to educate parents and teens about the danger of Internet, Katie Tarbox relates how she was duped by a pedophile who masqueraded as a young and caring presence on the Internet. In "Katie.com," she tells of the yearnings and mistakes that led her to a meeting and a hotel room. It was there her trusted friend showed his true face, that of a predator.

Chat Moderator: Good morning, Katie Tarbox. Welcome to CNN book chat.

Katie Tarbox: Hi everyone, thank you for coming! I'm excited about doing this.

Chat Moderator: Could you begin by telling us about your book, "Katie.com," and why you decided to write it?

Katie Tarbox: "Katie.com" is about my experience with the Internet, and how I met a man who I thought was 23. After we met, he then molested me in a hotel room. He turned out to be 41. We prosecuted him under new Internet laws.

More than just a book about that, it's about a girl growing up in a highly technological and oversexed society. I decided to write this book because I don't think that pedophilia, especially via the Internet, is understood in this country.

Question from Sunny1-CNN: Katie, how old were you when this happened?

Katie Tarbox: When I first met this man, named Mark, I was 13.

Question from Sunny1-CNN: Katie, what was missing in your life that made you look for companionship on the Internet?

Katie Tarbox: I don't think it was really anything missing, just the fact that I was 13 and a normal teenager. Everyone feels isolated and alone at that age.

Question from Bushwacked: Did you think it was wrong for a 13-year-old even to be communicating with a 23-year-old over the Internet?

Katie Tarbox: At first, I did think it was wrong, but one of the things that a pedophile does to his victim is that they talk to them a lot. I felt great about the relationship.

Question from Hello: Did you really think you loved the guy?

Katie Tarbox: I'm not sure I can call it love, but I cared about him in the "13-year-old" way, in the way that 13-year-olds know love.

Question from Genie3: Katie Tarbox, were you the one I read about, whose mother encouraged you to write this book?

Katie Tarbox: My whole family has been so supportive. We feel it's important to get out a clear message about cyber predators. They're real.

Every time you turn on a chat room, you invite predators into your home. We didn't want that to happen to anyone else. My family has been very encouraging.

Question from Gorebash: You prosecuted him under Internet laws? Weren't there state and federal laws that would apply as well? Or were there none?!

Katie Tarbox: The Internet laws that we prosecuted him under were federal laws. State laws wouldn't apply because it was an interstate crime. They were new laws.

Chat Moderator: Describe your reaction when you met Mark in Dallas and realized he was a fake.

Katie Tarbox: At first I was very startled by the fact that this was an adult. But he started talking to me about the things that we normally talked about, and made me feel comfortable with the situation. I didn't realize he was a fake until after he molested me. I thought, "Who have I been talking to for the last six months?" I was devastated.

Question from R2d2: Then why did you trust someone you could not see?

Katie Tarbox: Back in 1995, cyber-predators were unheard of. I had always trusted adults. I thought it was a kind of strange relationship, but the way he talked and communicated with me made us so close. It seemed natural to trust him.

Question from Sunny1-CNN: Katie, is your book meant for teens? And how old are you now?

Katie Tarbox: I'm 18 years old now. It's really a book for both parents and teens. A great thing about the book is that both can enjoy it, and it opens lines of communication. It's something they can talk about together.

Question from Genie3: Katie, do you feel that the man was any more guilty than you were?

Katie Tarbox: For two years, I actually thought I was guilty for it. I viewed it as me sending him to jail. It took me a long time to realize that I was just 13. That's a very naive age. It took me a while to realize that a 13-year-old can't be responsible for a sexual encounter with a 41-year-old man.

Question from Girlfriend: Did you ever want to pursue anything sexual with this man?

	RESOURCES
CNN Chat Calendar How to Connect Message Boards Time Zone Converter Discussion Standards

Katie Tarbox: I didn't want to pursue anything sexual with this man. I saw him as a very close friend. Maybe in my messed up 13-year-old mind, maybe I thought later in life. But at 13, I saw him as a friend.

Question from Gorebash: Are the problems/causes/events that led to the encounter with this guy more Internet-oriented, or part of a greater problem with society and teens and self-confidence and such?

Katie Tarbox: I think a lot of the issues we're dealing with are not Internet related. They're issues of teens feeling insecure about themselves. The Internet has a lot of relationships that build our confidence, but build it in a fake way. That's what happened here. So, the two go hand in hand.

Question from Sunny1-CNN: Katie, what recommendations do you have for parents and teens about the use of the Internet?

Katie Tarbox: I think that it's important for parents to inform their kids about how a pedophile works, and that they're a big part of the Internet. They should also monitor their kids online. It's important that kids have a sense of real relationships in their life, so they're not going on the Internet to find those relationships.

Question from Girlfriend: Do you think that your parents are to blame?

Katie Tarbox: I don't really think that they were to blame, because the Internet was so new, and they really didn't know how to handle this, or even that cyber predators were out there. And, I kept this a secret from them. I don't think they were to blame.

Question from R2d2: Were there lawyers involved in the book project shortly after court?

Katie Tarbox: No, nobody approached me about writing this. I actually sought out the people to help me. I wanted to do this project.

Question from Haley-CNN: Katie, I see where some of the proceeds from your book will go to RAINN. Can you tell us briefly what this organization does?

Katie Tarbox: RAINN is the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. It's committed to supporting victims of rape and incest, and gives them somewhere to go afterwards. From my experience, it's something that is needed. I'm very excited about helping this organization.

Question from Girlfriend: Did any of your friends know about your relationship with this man?

Katie Tarbox: Just one of my friends knew about this, and she didn't approve. I thought it was because she didn't understand the nature of it.

Question from Guest56315: Just wondering, do you go into chat rooms anymore?

Katie Tarbox: I do not go into chat rooms any more. I do use the Internet in other ways, and I think it's a great tool. But I don't think it's a safe way to meet people.

Question from Sunny1-CNN: Katie, if you had told your parents about Mark, and they had told you to stop talking to him, would you have done what they told you?

Katie Tarbox: I don't want to answer a hypothetical question. Most 13-year-olds don't tell their parents everything. Fact is, we did meet, and he did molest me. I don't want to get into all the "what ifs." The facts of the case reveal a lot.

Question from Haley-CNN: What sentence was imposed on Mark?

Katie Tarbox: He went to jail for 18 months and got out last October. He's in Los Angeles now. I wish he would have gone away for longer.

There was no precedent for this, so they didn't have a sentence guideline. I'm hoping that the book will help create longer sentences for these crimes.

Question from Enhue: What all is on your web site?

Katie Tarbox: My web site has info about my book, but more importantly, it has info about how to use the Internet in a safe way. It has safe site links.

Chat Moderator: What are you hoping the reaction will be from your book?

Katie Tarbox: I want everyone to love it, of course, and understand how real this is. That's the ideal. But I think if teens read this book, and understand that they're at risk, and learn to use the Internet in a safe way, and don't start these relationships, then that's what I really hope for.

Question from Bushwacked: Knowing what you know now, Katie, how could your parents have prevented this from happening, or if you don't want to deal in hypotheticals, how will you prevent this from happening to your 13-year-old?

Katie Tarbox: Like I said before, I think it is so important for parents to monitor their kids online, and keep communication lines open, and convey how real pedophiles are, and know what they do and how they do it. They're not just a big bad wolf lurking in a playground.

Question from Girlfriend: I have noticed some nasty messages in the guest book on your web site; how do you respond to such things?

Katie Tarbox: Unfortunately, I realize that not everyone will accept this book. I think it's sad that they can't understand that this is a real thing we're dealing with. I know my motives and know that I'm committed to helping kids. I've had attacks, but they don't know me. I'm just sorry that they can't understand the good that I'm trying to do here.

Question from Sunny1-CNN: Doesn't everyone think, "This will never happen to me," when they're warned about the dangers?

Katie Tarbox: Yeah, I never thought I was at risk. They say that one out of three girls before the age of 18 will be sexually assaulted in some manner. It's time that we came together in our society and realized that we're all at risk.

I wanted to communicate that with this book. Pedophiles don't care if their victim is rich or poor, stupid or smart. We all need to realize that all teens are at risk for this.

Question from Haley-CNN: Katie, what are your plans for your future? College?

Katie Tarbox: I'm going to be going to the University of Pennsylvania this year, and I'm writing another book. I'm just hoping to enjoy college. I'll study English.

Chat Moderator: Do you have any final thoughts for us today on this subject or about this book?

Katie Tarbox: I just want to say first that I enjoyed chatting with all of you. I hope that perhaps this has made some people realize that Internet pedophilia is a dangerous thing, and we need to be more aware of it.

Chat Moderator: Thank you so much for joining us today, Katie Tarbox.

Katie Tarbox: Thank you, everyone! I had a great time. :-)

Katie Tarbox joined the chat from CNN center in Atlanta, GA. CNN.com provided a typist. The above is an edited transcript of the chat.