Comedian Paul Rodriguez on the presidential election

(CNN) – Paul Rodriguez is a well-known comedian who has performed on stages across America from the Comedy Store in Los Angeles to Caroline's in New York. He has hosted and produced comedy shows for Showtime, Fox and Univision. Rodriguez can be seen in such films as "Quicksilver," "Made in America" and the upcoming "Crocodile Dundee 3." He directed and starred in the film "A Million to Juan."

Rodriguez is a long-time advocate of the National Hispanic Scholarship Fund and has worked with other programs such as Farm Aid, the National Leukemia Telethon and Project Literacy. Rodriguez has been seen onstage numerous times with President Bill Clinton.

Rodriguez joined the Showbiz Chat to discuss America’s candidates in Election 2000.

Chat Moderator: Welcome to CNN.com Showbiz Chat, Paul Rodriguez. We are pleased to have you with us today.

Paul Rodriguez: Hello, chatters, this is Paul Rodriguez. Please be gentle with me. It's my first time in interspace.

Chat Moderator: I know you have said you like to poke fun at both sides, but what issues have been most important to you in this election?

Paul Rodriguez: I personally care more about what everybody else cares about: that is to say, my elderly mom, and what kind of life I'm going to leave for my children.

The issue I care the most about is the price of gas, because that affects my sex life. Now I only date women who are within a five-gallon radius of my house. And I live in a very ugly part of town; all the good-looking girls are at least 10 gallons away. Please help me.

Question from ForBush: Mr. Rodriguez what benefits do you see for Latinos with Gore or Bush as president?

Paul Rodriguez: I personally don't believe our life will change for the better or worse, Latino or non-Latino, whether Bush or Gore wins. We're still going to drive the same car, sleep in the same house, eat the same food and worship our own God.

The presidency does not have the power and never did, by the way, that people think it has. The Founding Fathers were brilliant in making sure that the president is less powerful than the two other branches of government.

Question from TWAbt: Hi Paul! Who would provide the best material for you if elected president?

Paul Rodriguez: Hands down, George W. Bush. They've been trying to dig up dirt on Al Gore for six years now. The most they could come up with is that he once tore a tag off a mattress. I don't trust anyone without any vices.

Question from GentlemanMichael: Mr. Rodriguez, I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed you in the movie "The Whoopee Boys." Also, was Margaret Cho really as annoying as she seems?

Paul Rodriguez: Thank you and yes.

Question from Barkus: Paul, how did you feel about the Republican Convention's courting of the Latino vote?

Paul Rodriguez: They did a lousy job. They brought in a world-famous mariachi singer named Vicente Fernandez and the commentator said, "Some unknown mariachi guy."

The fact is, Mexican-Americans are going to support George Bush in record numbers, I predict, simply because he has Mexicans in his family, which is why my mother is voting for him. It kinda makes us feel like we have six degrees of separation.

Comment from MaryAnn: Thank you, Paul, for being a Democrat who is happy with neither candidate and courageous enough to say so.

	MESSAGE BOARD
Presidential race 2000

Paul Rodriguez: I believe that this election is like one of my favorite movies, the choice is between "Dumb and Dumber."

Question from Prwatcher: Paul, are you ever reprimanded for performing at prisons? I think it's great you do that.

Paul Rodriguez: I receive so much hate mail from victims who accuse me of entertaining and coddling the scum of the earth. One letter, in particular, from a mother in Ukiah, California touched my heart after my performance at San Quentin for HBO. She said she'd always been a fan, but would never again see me or like me because as I was performing, the camera panned to the audience and she saw the person who raped and murdered her daughter. That day, I stopped going to prisons.

Question from Jen: Who do you think will win the election?

Paul Rodriguez: I don't know who will win the election, but I do know who will lose: about 300 million Americans. Unfortunately, there are two problems, in my opinion. Why would someone spend $100 million to get a job that only pays $750,000? Talk about fuzzy math, eh?

Two, the office itself has become so show businesslike that it doesn't attract the most qualified, i.e., Bill Gates, Alan Greenspan, Colin Powell, Mario Cuomo, etc.

Question from CyberMinstrel: Hi Paul, I am wondering where you grew up and what issue would you consider most important to you in this election?

Paul Rodriguez: Some would say I never grew up. The most important issue in this election was not an issue in this election. That is, the control of nuclear reactors and nuclear weaponry left in the wake of the Soviet Union that now is readily available to be purchased by any hate group for a few rubles. I believe that one of these countries in the Middle East will use a nuclear weapon before my lifetime is through.

Question from Littlebear: You are a great and funny guy, but do you think that maybe you should take the election more seriously?

Paul Rodriguez: It is not my job to take the election seriously. It is my job to point and holler and say that the king has no clothes. In ancient times, court jesters subliminally suggested and affected policy in the kingdom. I see myself in the same way.

Chat Moderator: Paul do you have any final thoughts for us today?

Paul Rodriguez: The good news is democracy works, and there is no bad news. We, all of us Americans, regardless of race, creed, color, religion or sexual preference, have built a nation that is virtually indestructible.

No one person, president or not, can change or affect or reduce the quality of our lives. We all can go to sleep tonight knowing that whether George or Al or Bob, Ted or Alice are running the country, they can't affect our way of life because we are enamored with freedom, justice and the pursuit of happiness. And for that, all of us are willing to pay the ultimate sacrifice.

Chat Moderator: Thank you for joining us today, Paul Rodriguez.

Paul Rodriguez: I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places that this old heart of mine embraces.

Rejoice America! It's a good time to be alive! Adios.

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Presidential election remains tantalizingly tight
11/7/00

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