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To watch or not to watch? A letter to Monica

By Bruce Morton/CNN

Monica,

I don't know what to do. We've been together for just over a year now. But we've never met. We could meet tonight, I suppose, if television counts as meeting, but that other woman would be there, and after living with you all this time, would I want her around?

I remember how our relationship -- should I call it that? -- I remember, anyway, how it all began.

I was in the CNN newsroom in Havana, and the Pope had just arrived, and I was having a good time and then the boss said, "You. Back to DC, next plane. There's this woman." The whole plane was full of reporters chasing reports of you. That was how it all began, and that first day I didn't even know your name.

Now, of course, I can't imagine calling you anything else. A Monica by any other name would be as sweet? Don't think so.

So I, and all the rest of us, have spent a year with you and never met you. We've learned how you talk, from all those tapes your best friend made. We've learned how you dress, from all those months of screening videotape of camera crews screaming your name. We learned, of course, about one particular dress, learned about jokes, and gifts. We've never met, Monica, but I know you pretty well.

You could say we met, of course, in that deposition they played at the Senate trial. But that was cold and formal, and I could tell you'd practiced lawyer-talk -- say as little as possible, just 'yes' or 'no.' That doesn't count somehow.

This will, I suppose. But how would I feel, watching that other woman make you cry? Is this the Monica I spent a year with, teary-eyed? To watch or not to watch, that is the question.

Maybe, Monica -- my virtual workmate, or whatever you are -- maybe I'll just read your book, and hope it makes a lot of money and lets you find a life, far away from this city.

I never spent a year with a person I never met before. I expect we're both glad it's over.

Sincerely,

Bruce Morton/CNN


Investigating the President

MORE STORIES:

Wednesday, March 3, 1999

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