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It's Gotta Be The Heat

By Charles Bierbauer/CNN

WASHINGTON (July 18) -- It's another "Code Red" day in Washington. A 3-H day -- hazy, hot and humid. The heat is creating mirages.

I had this vision of myself about to vault from the high dive into a cool azure pool. But what were Bill Archer and Charlie Rangel, Pat Moynihan and Bill Roth, Erskine Bowles and Bob Rubin all doing out on the end of the board?

Getting up their nerve to take the plunge into agreement on $85 billion worth of tax cuts, according to one congressional source. At least, that's how the aide described the Wednesday night meeting that was the "first airing" of all the issues. The negotiators -- House and Senate and White House, Democrat and Republican -- have a self-imposed gag order on these talks. Public silence is usually a sign of serious negotiations. "Progress was made," a Republican aide said.

The negotiators are expected to take another look from the top of the diving board, but could decide to hold hands and jump together over the weekend if things go well.

That means they'd have to come to some compromise on just what level of income -- lowest in Clinton's plan -- qualifies for the $500-per-child tax credit that's central to any tax cut. Democrats keep trotting out working families with appealing kids. They earn some $20,000 and pay taxes and say, "Hey, don't we deserve a break."

. But those families also qualify for the Earned Income Tax Credit worth as much as a couple thousand dollars, to which Republicans say, "Hey, you're already getting a welfare benefit."

Which one of these is the mirage?

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It's been a month now since the tobacco industry agreed to a $368 billion plan to settle claims against the cigarette manufacturers and insure themselves against huge future suits.

"It's the Marlboro man riding into the sunset on Joe Camel," one of the state attorneys general exhaled when the agreement was reached.

"It's a Trojan Camel," Minnesota Attorney General Hubert "Skip" Humphrey told the Senate Judiciary Committee this week. Humphrey says the settlement could become "another sad chapter in the tobacco industry's long history of deception." He cites the millions of documents that tobacco does not want publicly disclosed.

Smoke and mirrors? Or smoking gun?

"Smoking howitzer," the attorney general suggested. "In our judgment, these documents show where the bodies are buried."

At least one senator -- Vermont Democrat Pat Leahy -- declared the tobacco companies would get no immunity without full disclosure.

Congress may not get around to those parts of the tobacco deal it must facilitate with legislation before next year. Any idea the tobacco settlement was wrapped up was illusory.

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Is that Congressman Bill Paxon doing the weather forecasts on the CBS Saturday Morning News?

It's stormy weather, Bill. The other half of Congress' cute couple scuffed his image as a rising Republican star this week. Paxon may be lucky House Speaker Newt Gingrich didn't bite his ear off. Politics ain't pugilism. But, as the saying goes, politics ain't beanbag, either.

Paxon resigned his post among the Republican leadership after consorting with dissidents who were contemplating whether they'd be better off with someone other than Gingrich as Speaker. Paxon was the someone many thought should replace Gingrich. Gingrich didn't think so.

While Paxon denies he was out to unseat Gingrich, he's accurate when he says he had to resign because he'd lost the speaker's confidence. Gingrich may not be too enthused either about others in the Republican leadership -- Dick Armey, John Boehner and Tom DeLay. Gingrich reportedly told those lieutenants he felt ill-served by their contact with the rambunctious Republicans and their failure to protect him.

Paxon is the husband of Rep. Susan Molinari, both New York Republicans. She quit the leadership earlier and will leave Congress shortly to become a CBS news anchor. Only a few months ago Molinari and Paxon -- and their infant daughter Susan Ruby -- were the Republican values poster family.

Now Paxon will have his Saturdays free to babysit while Molinari offers TV analysis of Republican political prospects. As for that CBS interview with Speaker Gingrich....

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Mirages are supposed to appear in the desert, not the mountains of France. But that's where the U.S. Postal team is competing in the Tour de France.

No, it's not a joke. Spokeswoman Margot Myers called from her cell phone along the race course -- did you think she'd send a postcard? -- to explain.

The Postal Service is in the second year of its sponsorship of the bike racing team. It's part of the service's marketing program, particularly to promote collectible stamps and its international programs.

Since the Postal Service just announced a one-cent increase in stamp prices, the obvious question is what's it spending to sponsor a bike team? $5 million.

But that's over three years and has "not much impact" on a $57 billion corporation, Ms. Myers explained.

Besides the team is doing pretty well -- 10th place so far among 22 teams competing in cycling's premier event. All nine riders -- three Americans and the rest from Denmark, Poland, Russia, Spain and France -- are still in competition.

"We're getting a hell of a lot of attention," says Myers, who got the Tour public relations assignment because she speaks French which ought to make her French-teacher-mother happy.

More importantly, Myers says the Postal Service has already made a $1.6 million profit on two 50-cent bicycling stamps it issued last year.

In fact, she said, the service does have some letter carriers who deliver the mail by bicycle.

I'm telling all my creditors that their checks' are in the mail -- somewhere in the Pyrenees.