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[E-mail From The Floor]

E-mail From The Floor

To: AllPolitics
Fm: Ed Turner, CNN
In: San Diego
Posted: Aug. 11, 1996

Subject: Last Convention Of The Yeahbuts

This will be the last convention of the Yeahbuts. We have been purchased, taken over and bought out by the Hobgoblin, Ltd. mega-megas. We no longer will have the right to turn to the close political other (CPO) sitting next to us in the den while we listen to a leading politician say something that is absolutely opposite to what he has been proclaiming for years, even hours.

At that point, fellow Yeahbutters may recall, you would sputter, "Yeah, but---so and so." No longer. The company that bears the motto, "Consistency is the Hobgoblin of Little Minds," now owns our franchise of frustration. So, as you and your CPO wander through the channels of convention coverage, returning always to the intrepid CNN, of course, please refrain from the old refrain, "YEAH, BUT DAMNIT, LAST WEEK YOU SAID..." That is now politically inconsistent.

Speaking of channels, San Diego viewers can watch GOP-TV, a presentation of Haley Barbour and the party. A careless viewer could think the offering is real TV. GOP-TV has floor reporters, anchor desk, anchor tosses to packages, guests, commentary and everything but both sides. Not that one would expect either political party to be fair, honest and objective like all we real journalists, but the slick GOPers have stolen our gig.

It takes years and millions of dollars of make-up, designer clothes and voice training for a real anchor to achieve that certain attitude of listentomenowstopeverythingyouaredoingthisinstant. And no few of the network anchorfolk are real newsies, having been shot at in some of the more exciting war zones of our time. Just like Bill Clinton grabbing a Republican idea, the ultimate insult is the closing credit which reads just like the CBS/NBC/ABCetc evening news: Managing Editor, Haley Barbour, Supervising Producers, Correspondents and on and on. Well, GOP-TV, good luck, and we'll see you in Chicago. Won't we?

It is to hoot to see those journalists of a certain age, meaning we old guys, genderless, injecting California talk in the copy coming out of here as we grasp for hipness. Gnarly and fer'sure are not normally words one finds in the copy of those of us from the effete East, or effete South, in the case of CNN/Atlanta.

Most of the 11-jillion newsies out here are searching for the soul of California in a nifty 1,000 words and pictures. Some of us just came out of Atlanta, where the world press did thousands of pieces with the city and the South on the global couch. So if our readers in CA don't mind, I'll leave your head alone, will not splash your spot on the beach with my surf board, and will leave it to Raymond Chandler to describe the inner child.

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