It's so bone-chilling, nose-numbing cold that ....

(CNN)Cold weather complainers bicker and brr. That's a given. But their typically tired grievances are kind of valid this time.

About 99 million people under a winter weather advisory. And nearly 80 percent of the country will fall below-freezing temperatures by next week.
So how cold is it? It's so cold that ....

... you find new ways to accessorize

    Like surfer Dan in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. He created this icy look after catching some waves on Lake Superior.

    ... you have the restaurant patio all to yourself

    Hey, no wait at restaurants in Breckenridge, Colorado!

    ... you make your own personal igloo

    Because a slanket won't cut it.

    ... you bundle your best friend

    This weather's fit for neither man nor beast.

    ... you can't resist showing off a little

    Especially if you're a real Montanan, like Steve Clay here.

    ... you get a brain freeze

    The cold may be abominable, but it's no match for finals week.

    ... you sport sleeves (while playing football)

    The Chicago Bears play the Green Bay Packers this Sunday in what might be the coldest home game in team history. Bears linebacker Pernell McPhee says sleeves are a sign of weakness. His head coach says it's a sign of intelligence.

    ... you can't resist riding your unicycle. While playing a bagpipe. That breathes fire

    Like Brian Kidd. He's from Portland. So, we're not sure it has to do with the weather at all.