Editor's note: Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz are the sarcastic brains behind humor blog and book Stuff Hipsters Hate. When they're not trolling Brooklyn for new material, Ehrlich works as an associate editor at Mashable.com and Bartz is news editor at Psychology Today. Got a question about etiquette in the digital world? Contact them at firstname.lastname@example.org.
(CNN) -- Chances are, you have one or two vices. And that's OK, we do, too -- and we're not talking about the determinedly indie magazine.
While the Web can be a prime locale in which to nurture said ills and watch them flourish in "real time," turning one's soul into an eight-byte mess, it can also serve as a way to keep tabs on your own bad habits -- essentially taking on the work of the long-gone angel who once perched upon your shoulder.
Read on for seven apps and services that will at least make you feel like a better person as you live your life in line with the seven deadly sins. We admit it, though: We largely subscribe to Billy Joel's famous axiom that "the sinners are much more fun."
Being that we reside in America (aside from everyone reading CNN International, yo), otherwise known as "the land of plenty," there's a good chance everyone reading this is a glutton of some sort. In this case, we're going to forgo the obvious "FatBooth" recommendation and instead address smokers, aka gluttons for self-punishment.
If your lungs are aching to ache, might we suggest downloading Quitter, a free iPhone app that tells you how much money you're saving by not smoking? Sure, all that cash could lead you to indulge in No. 2 on our list, but we're just getting started...
Blew all your cigarette money on moonshine and snooker? Well, once you shamble back from the 1920s, alleviate your soul-crushing guilt by giving back: Sign up for Catchafire, a service that will match you up with a social good organization based on your skills -- whatever they may be.
Granted, you'll only be able to offer up your services (pro bono) if you have skills, which leads us to sin No. 3...
This is a tough one, because the Internet basically breeds more sloth than the rain forest -- especially where that great time waster, Facebook, is concerned.
For the students among you, we suggest checking out hoot.me, a Facebook plugin that turns the social network into a study group, allowing you to connect with other users and get homework help. For those of us whose school days are long gone, maybe just exercise a little self control -- or, if all else fails, have a friend change your password and bravely suffer the pangs of withdrawal.
We can say it once, we can it say it 1,000 times: A public forum is not the best place to get out your rage -- unless you work in a field that encourages said rage, like the arts or talk radio (in which case we No. 5 you, carry on).
For the rest of us cubicle supplicants, here's a little toy to help you reign in your wrath: RageGage Connect, a USB gadget that hooks into your Facebook, allowing you to "punch" your friends and co-workers in effigy. Think of it as a really high-tech version of punching your pillow.
Your friend just posted an entire album to Facebook titled "My New Summer Condo!" Your former drama-school classmate just tweeted that he will be appearing on "Entourage." Your sister just Instagrammed a photo of her new convertible.
Aside from the fact that it seems like everyone you know is a total tool, you're feeling jealous of their success. Instead of busting out the voodoo dolls, do something that makes you feel better about you (cue the Muzak), like asking for a raise.
GetRaised will help you on your quest for fiscal feast by helping you create a letter outlining why your deserve a raise. Pro tip: "Because I do!" probably should not be included in the text of that letter.
Really proud of your poem/nature photography/"Buffy The Vampire Slayer" fan fiction? Well, then, post it in an anonymous forum. That should smack the smug smile off your face.
Or visit Opinionaided, a much more positive Q&A experience -- with badges for good advice given, etc. -- than, say, Formspring, if you need to talk about yourself but you're overly prone to crying.
As we said before, the sinners are much more fun, so we're not about to suggest using the Web to quell your lustier desires. However, if you are in dire need of some sort of cool down, here, look at these baby animals.