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The girl crush defined

By Lauren Gold, The Frisky
A girl crush is not based on sexual attraction, says columnist.
A girl crush is not based on sexual attraction, says columnist.
  • Columnist: Girl crushes are when you admire or envy some quality about another female
  • It's not a physical or sexual attraction -- it's part jealousy, part admiration
  • Use it as a catalyst to improve yourself-- appearance or skills

(The Frisky) -- There's this thing called a girl crush, and we all have them.

You don't think you do? What about that girl in high school who had the best clothes? You always loved her fashion sense, and you occasionally go to her Facebook profile when a new album of hers pops up in your newsfeed. You long for her Chanel bag and adorable romper for a few minutes, and then you move on. That's a girl crush!

Or what about that friend of a friend who socializes in the same circle as you? Heads turn when she walks in the room, and you love that she speaks two languages fluently, just like you've always wanted to. That's a girl crush, too.

Sometimes, you can't help but be attracted to qualities or characteristics in other women, whether they're qualities you want or not.

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But take note: a girl crush cannot be in your current group of friends. This is someone you admire from some kind of distance, like a co-worker, classmate, or old friend that you haven't seen or spoken to in years. Girl crushes fulfill certain voids, like your want for a new wardrobe or that auburn hair color that no hair colorist could ever duplicate.

A girl crush is by no means a physical or sexual attraction. It's part jealousy, part admiration.

While I've come to terms with my curly, out-of-control hair and Type A personality, it's still nice to "crush" on acquaintances with more carefree attitudes (and straight hair, too). It's OK. It's healthy, as long as you still love who you are.

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For example, an old roommate of mine is a true Southern gal. Born and raised in Memphis, she is always put-together -- hair blown out, makeup done, perfectly matched outfit. You know the type. She's lovely, but even the best-dressed girl has a girl crush.

She used to obsess over an acquaintance of hers who rocked a mismatched, tousled hair, urban style. She tried desperately to achieve the "effortless" look with multi-colored scarves and funky sneakers. At the end of the day, she was still herself, trying to look like someone else. She realized her style is just that --it's hers, but that didn't mean she stopped Facebook-stalking her girl crush. It helped her develop her own style.

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So, what should you do about your secret crush? Enjoy it, but use it as a catalyst for something good. Sign up for that Spanish language class you always thought about, and start planning your next vacation to Argentina. Or, tell that fashionista how much you admire her bold, trendy style.

Make your girl crush's day, and tell her how awesome you think she is (unless it's someone you really don't associate with, in which case your profession of love could translate as creepy). Take inspiration from others and apply them to your own life. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, after all. At the end of the day, remember to love who you are. And then wonder who could be girl-crushing on you ...