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8 so-called 'chivalrous' moves that creep us out

By Kate Torgovnick, The Frisky
The purse may be heavy, but some women don't want to see their boyfriends carrying the bag.
The purse may be heavy, but some women don't want to see their boyfriends carrying the bag.
  • Some male actions once seen as chivalrous, may be kinda creepy today, writer says
  • She doesn't want a man to walk her to the ladies room
  • Pulling out her chair or helping her with her coat makes writer feel awkward
  • Letting her win at games or using code words for bathroom seems silly

(The Frisky) -- Blake Lively and Penn Badgley are definitely the cutest actors who've played a couple on TV that refuse to acknowledge they're one in real life too.

Luckily, "Gossip Girls" in training all around New York are constantly telling the tabs about their Blake/Penn sightings. The two were spotted having brunch and smooching at Five Points restaurant.

According to People, "The actor was very doting and even walked his girlfriend to the bathroom at the end of their meal. The two left the restaurant arm-in-arm."

Um, back the truck up a second. He walked her to the bathroom? I'd never heard of this particular convention until last summer, when a date offered to do this.

"Why would you walk me to the bathroom?" I asked. "Oh, I thought that was common courtesy," he said.

Sweet, but I'm a big girl. I can make it the 15 feet to the bathroom on my own. I'm not really interested in having you join me for the walk, unless you're planning to join me in there.

I'm all for opening doors and you giving me your jacket when I'm cold, but here are eight other supposedly gentlemanly moves we don't understand. Though any effort is always appreciated, even if it's a little weird.

1. Ordering my meal for me. This has always struck me as bizarro, because chances are you don't know what I want. The only time this is cool is if I have no idea how to pronounce something and you do.

The Frisky: What does being a gentleman mean these days?

2. Letting me win at a game of Scrabble/pool/bowling when you are clearly better. No fun! Please give it your best shot. I want the satisfaction of really beating you.

3. Using a code term for going to the bathroom. Especially retro words like "tinkle." You can just say, "I'll be back in a minute." I'll get it.

4. Pulling out my chair. Someone told me this tradition started when women wore loads of crinolines and, thus, scooting in your chair was difficult. That's no longer the case. It just makes me nervous that you won't push it in at the right moment and I'll land on the ground with a thud.

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5. Carrying my purse. Yeah, it's heavy, but I'm pretty used to it at this point. You carrying it just looks funny. I have enough of a hard time with murses.

6. Asking my dad for my hand in marriage. So outdated. Pops just shouldn't be involved in our relationship. No one should know you want to marry them before they do.

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7. If you're paying for dinner, not letting me put in for tip. Or get a round of drinks after. If I offer, it's because I want to. I swear.

8. Helping me put me coat on. This is sweet, but it's always awkward because my hand misses the sleeve or gets stuck somewhere in there. It's easier to just do it on my own.

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