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Should you be invited to my wedding?

  • Story Highlights
  • Future in-laws and future husband can inflate wedding guest list
  • Trimming list is easy if you ask potential guests some questions
  • Guests should know names of both bride and groom
  • Should know whether bride has kids, where she lives, if she went to college
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By Audrey Irvine
CNN
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(CNN) -- One of my girlfriends recently got engaged. Before we could even bask in her happiness, the conversation turned to the dreaded guest list.

Audrey Irvine was not only invited to her cousin's wedding in 2004, she served as a bridesmaid.

Fun questions like, "So, honey, do we have to invite your great aunt, whom you haven't seen since you were 10?"

So, who should get an invite?

Too often, women are pressured into inviting way too many people to their weddings out of a sense of obligation. Parents, prospective in-laws and grooms can turn a simple wedding into a grand affair.

And as soon as that engagement ring catches her eye, that occasional lunch acquaintance feels entitled to share in your happy nuptials.

Then you realize too late that the majority of people at your wedding don't really know you or what has been going on in your life up until your big day. iReport.com: Share stories of your not-so-perfect wedding

This quiz is something I shared with friends years ago and feel inclined to share with other women.

Here are 10 questions couples can use to trim that guest list and weed out the people you really don't want at your wedding.

1) Name the city I'm living in now (Good one to weed folks out, especially if you have moved a lot. Don't use this if you've lived in the same place for 10 years).

2) Name at least two of my closest friends.

3) Name my current employer and my past employer (Again, if you've remained in the same job for 15 years, this does not apply).

4) Do I have any kids?

5) Do you know the name of my fiancé? Bonus question: Where and when did we meet?

6) Do you know where my parents are and whether they are still alive? (Imagine a friend at your wedding asking how long have your parents been married when they divorced years ago).

7) Name at least two of my hobbies.

8) How old am I? (My favorite is when family friends would query, 'Are you 28 now?" Imagine their surprise when I proclaimed, 'yeah, 10 years ago!')

9) Where did I go to college? (Some people might not remember whether you attended college or even graduated.)

10) Name my last boyfriend before this engagement. Bonus question: if you can name the last two and why we broke up. If you get the bonus question right, that might automatically get you in.

Scoring helps determine whether you get invited.

If you score 50 percent or below, you definitely are not getting invited.

If you score barely over 50 percent, you are on the waiting list. If someone who scored better than you cannot attend, you might get an invitation. This barely acceptable person who might be invited may get you a great gift because of their guilt for scoring so low.

If you score over 60 percent, you get an invitation.

Now, you don't have to be as extreme as I would love to be and send these questions with the save the date card. However, imagine if, over the course of your engagement, you pitch these questions to a few prospective guests just to see how they do.

In the end, what matters most is a beautiful wedding day and a sustained marriage.

Wouldn't you like to celebrate it with loved ones who are invested in your past and present in addition to your future? Plus, it will help you avoid the embarrassing introduction of your new husband to someone who didn't even realize until that moment that you didn't marry your college sweetheart, whom you haven't seen in 15 years!

All About WeddingsEtiquette and Manners

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