Taking the kids: What to know before your child flies alone

(Tribune Media Services) -- Blake Sims, 15, is no "wimpy guy," but he was pretty scared when he recently checked into a hotel in Salt Lake City, with just his 10-year-old sister for company.

"It was awful," said Blake from his mom's home in Fairbanks, Alaska. "My sister was freaking out."

His mom, Adriana Ables, was even more upset when Blake called to say that he and his sister had missed their Delta connection and were waiting by themselves outside Salt Lake City International Airport for a shuttle bus to a hotel without any adult to look after them.

"Everything that could possibly happen to them went through my mind," said Ables, a dental hygienist. "I was scared to death."

How the Sims kids ended up fending for themselves in Salt Lake City is an object lesson for anyone putting kids, especially teens, on flights alone this summer -- and we're talking about hundreds of thousands of children winging their way between divorced parents, to camps, adventure trips and more -- when there are unprecedented delays, missed connections and canceled flights derailing even seasoned travelers.

"You are taking a real chance if you send an unaccompanied minor on an itinerary where it's not a direct flight and there aren't numerous flights scheduled that day," said Associated Press Travel Editor Beth Harpaz, who learned that lesson the hard way a few summers ago when her 11-year-old son, Danny, and a friend were stranded in Atlanta on their way to camp in Kansas.

"The best thing a parent can do is not go hysterical when things don't go as planned," suggested Robert Washburn, after his 16-year-old daughter, Lane, got stranded overnight in San Juan on her way from Kansas City to a summer sailing program in the Caribbean.

"Keeping an even temper and calm attitude significantly helps," he said. "Thank goodness for wireless technology to help communicate!"

NOTE TO PARENTS: Make sure teens have a working cell phone and cash with them. A temporary credit card -- like Visa TravelMoney -- is also a good bet.

Robert Washburn was able to reach the sailing program liaison stationed at the San Juan Airport for just such emergencies. She spent the night with Lane (the airline provided hotel vouchers).

Harpaz persuaded the airline to fly her to Atlanta free so she could take charge of her son and his friend until she could get them on a flight to Kansas. Make sure you've got round-the-clock cell phone numbers for those charged with picking the kids up, she suggests.

Airlines are supposed to take care of unaccompanied minors, even if they are stranded overnight. But teens are a different matter. Unless the teens tell airline officials they're flying solo, the airline wouldn't even know. Make sure your teens -- no matter how shy or confident -- let airline personnel know they're traveling alone and have them seek out Travelers Aid at the airport (www.travelersaid.org). "We help children and teens traveling by themselves all the time, especially in summer," said Martha Morris, Travelers Aid's international spokesman.

Teach them that if delayed or stranded, they should call you immediately so that you can discuss the options with an airline representative right there. Perhaps if Blake Sims had done that, the situation would have turned out differently.

"How would they feel if it were their children? Is this the way they'd want Delta to treat their kids?" asked the kids' grandfather, Chris Miller, a retired Army lieutenant colonel, and Delta platinum flier. He readily acknowledges that mistakes were made, but he asks, "Does that mean Delta didn't have any responsibility?"

Like a lot of kids from divorced families, Blake and Briana Sims were flying between parents, from Alabama where their dad lives to Alaska, where their stepfather, an Army air traffic controller, is now stationed after returning from Iraq.

The Alabama travel agent who booked their $2,000 flight assured their dad that he didn't need to pay the $75 fee for them to be unaccompanied minors because Blake was 15. That was mistake number one, according to Delta spokesman Anthony Black. Teens must be 18 to accompany a young sibling. Mistake number two: The kids were booked on the last flight of the day -- not permitted for kids flying solo, said Black, to prevent exactly what happened in this case -- youngsters getting stranded en route.

TIP FOR PARENTS: Book kids and teens on the earliest nonstop flight of the day. But before you do, Google your airline carrier to check their rules for unaccompanied minors, each airline has different regulations and fees. Southwest Airlines, for example, doesn't charge a fee but only permits children flying alone on direct flights. Once they are 12, they are on their own. "If a parent feels a young teen isn't capable of making the trip alone, they should seriously consider making the trip with them or send the teen with another family member or friend," says Southwest spokesman Linda Rutherford.

Other airlines, like Northwest and Delta, require children up to age 15 to fly as unaccompanied minors and charge $75 each way on connecting flights. Parents can opt to pay for the service for kids up to 17 -- not a bad idea these days on connecting flights, no matter how much the kids object.

Delta insists the Sims kids misrepresented their ages, didn't follow directions from airline personnel and that at every turn Blake indicated they could take care of themselves (anyone who has raised a teenage boy can understand that scenario). Adriana Ables insists that wasn't the case. "I'm tired of them saying they didn't do anything wrong," she said. "No one took the initiative to take care of these kids!"

Had the kids been identified as unaccompanied minors or had things gone as a parent would hope, they would have been taken off the plane by flight attendants in Salt Lake City and handed off to responsible ground personnel who would have looked after them until their flight the following night, immediately apprising their parents of the situation, said Delta spokesman Anthony Black.

Instead, Blake and Briana were eating pizza at 2 a.m. in a hotel room by themselves while their parents, grandparents and other relatives spent the night frantically trying to figure out what they could do to remedy the situation. "I never felt so helpless," said Ables. Their stepfather went to the Fairbanks Airport to try to get a flight to Salt Lake City (he couldn't). Calls were flying between Alabama, Alaska and Delta supervisors in Salt Lake City. Ultimately, a retired Salt Lake City police officer, a friend of a friend, collected the kids and took care of them until their flight the following night.

Delta and the family now have faced off: Each side has a different take on the disconnect that left these kids on their own.

But what really matters in the end is that they're now safely home -- and that this never happens again.

Before you put your child on a plane

Make sure your child has a copy of his itinerary and knows where he's supposed to be going and who is picking him up. (There have been cases where unaccompanied minors have been sent to the wrong city. Even a 7-year-old should be able to speak up if he knows he's supposed to be going to visit his dad in Cleveland and the pilot just announced they're going to Detroit.)

Make sure your child has a working cell phone and a card with the numbers for you and your backups, in case you are momentarily unavailable, and for those charged with meeting them at their pickup point.

Pack plenty of food and entertainment in their backpacks. Airlines are increasingly stingy with the snacks they offer and with tarmac delays your child could be stranded for hours without anything to eat. A portable DVD player and movies is always a good bet.

Stash something new in their backpack, along with a sweatshirt and a clean T-shirt.

Request a "gate pass" to go through security with your kids and wait with them until they board.

Just don't count on a goodbye kiss. E-mail to a friend

(For more Taking the Kids, visit www.takingthekids.com, where Eileen Ogintz welcomes your questions and comments.)

Copyright 2009 EILEEN OGINTZ, DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

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