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Ashley Smith fights drug addiction, and for her childBy Kyra Phillips  Ashley Smith and CNN's Kyra Phillips return to the apartment where Ashley came face-to-face with Brian Nichols. RELATEDYOUR E-MAIL ALERTSATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- "It's very strange to be here," Ashley Smith said as she returned to the apartment that one year ago was the setting for the last act of a deadly 26-hour drama that terrorized the Atlanta area. One day last March, Smith, a recovering drug addict, was settling into her new apartment in the Atlanta suburb of Duluth when she decided to step out to buy some cigarettes. When she returned, she says Brian Nichols put a gun to her head and forced himself into her apartment. Nichols had been on the run from police for the past 17 hours. Earlier in the day, he allegedly overpowered the guard bringing him to court for a rape trial, and police say he stole her gun, and shot and killed the judge, court reporter, sheriff's deputy and police say, later a U.S. customs agent. He eventually made his way to Smith's apartment. (Take a look back at that deadly day) "I remember thinking I don't care what he does. I don't care if he beats the crap out of me. I don't care if he rapes me. I just want to get out of here alive," Smith told me. Last month, Smith and I went back to her apartment for the first time since she moved out a year ago. I asked her what she was thinking about as we neared the apartment. "How nervous I was going to be coming in here and just how weird it feels. I am just short of breath," she said. Smith took me through her apartment, retracing every step she and Nichols took. According to Smith, Nichols tied her up. Then he took a shower. After that, incredibly, she made him pancakes and started to open up about her past -- the murder of her husband, her drug addiction, her 5-year-old daughter Paige. Smith said Nichols asked Smith if she had some marijuana. She didn't have any, but she did have some crystal methamphetamine, which she gave him. I asked her why she had it. "Because I was addicted at the time to it," she replied. I asked her if she felt a need to take the drug with him. "No way. That was my last chance. I had been more of a prisoner to that type of drug for the past few years than I was to Brian Nichols in that apartment. It took control of my life. It took control of everything that I have. It even made me give custody away of my daughter, the person that I love the most in the world," she said. Smith earned Nichols' trust and he eventually let her out of the apartment to keep a scheduled visit with Paige. Once she was out, she called 911. SWAT teams moved in. Nichols surrendered and went back to jail. Smith got her 15 minutes of fame and wrote a book. (View a gallery of the victims and the investigation) Over the past year, as the spotlight dimmed, Smith has been living with her Aunt Kim, who has custody of Paige. She's been catching up on lost time, trying to rebuild their relationship. "I'm just now ready to be her mom. And not ready in a selfish way, but I'm just now good enough for Paige. I'm what Paige needs now," she said. Smith credits her Aunt Kim's intervention and determination as the reason she's been able to turn her life around. "She has not ever given up on me, and she has pushed and pushed and pushed and she's challenged me. And I really believe that I would be dead today if she didn't continue to challenge me." While Aunt Kim still has custody of Paige, she agrees that Ashley is ready to be a mom again. "She is healed spiritually, physically, mentally. And she seeks guidance as she says, 'Okay, Aunt Kim, what do I do with this situation with Paige, and what do you think I should do here and...you know, what's the bedtime schedule?' And I slowly turned over the parenting role, and it's all hers now," Aunt Kim said. Smith is now fixing up a home of her own to move into with Paige, and plans to start studying psychology this fall. While she still does speaking engagements across the country, Smith is still well aware of how easily it can all fall apart. She took me to one of those reminders, a house on the outskirts of Augusta where she fed her crystal meth addiction. Smith is shocked to find some of her own furniture still there. "This is absolutely disgusting. It's not any different. It really isn't. It goes to show what is left. This part of my life. I almost lost my life, because I was just in such a state of psychosis and mentally, physically, just unhealthy." Smith grew reflective as she thought about where her life would go from here. "I know people are looking at me, going, 'Oh, is she gonna mess up again? Is she gonna mess up again?' I can't live my life in fear that I'm gonna mess up, because I know I'm gonna mess up. But I've learned from a lot of the mistakes that I've made before, and I won't make the same ones," Smith told me. "And I'll be the best example that I can for Paige, as a godly mom, friend, daughter... I have another chance to prove to my daughter that I do love her by my actions. And I do that every day." 
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