If you're a movie lover and want to go back in time to imagine that you're in "The Maltese Falcon" or "Indiana Jones" then Cairo is for you! A sprawling buzzing mass of humanity.
5 p.m. ... London ...
I arrive at Heathrow International departure lounge to discover four Scotsmen in kilts, we have a drink or I should say the make me have a drink! They're convinced I won't be able to get any booze in Cairo; I try to reassure them that I'm staying in the Four Seasons and that I can, to no use!
10 p.m. ... Cairo ...
Arrived at Cairo International on an Air Egypt flight, to be met before passport control by a big Egyptian dude, he takes me through passport control and I'm in a cab zooming through Cairo, boy do they drive bonkers style! Best image was eight kids in the back of an ancient Renault then a really big woman got in too! Poor kids.
Midnight ... Hotel ...
Speak to Claude (MC Solaar) on the phone and arrange to meet each other in reception, as the hotel is probably the biggest hotel in the world! It takes us about 15 minutes to find the bar, end up asking about 10 security guards where to go and avoiding big statues. Turns out Claude lived in Cairo when he was nine... for about a year!
1 a.m. ... Hotel ...
Meet my camerawoman Dana in the hotel bar; she's a war photographer, kind of cute in a funny sort of way, does yoga!
8 a.m. ... Outside Hotel ...
Hook up with Dana, Alli the driver, Nora the fixer and Claude. We head off to the pyramids at Giza. All's well until a couple of undercover cops arrive brandishing handguns! Saying we've been filming military people, gets quite heavy! Nora does brilliantly! Boy she's a tough wee cookie. Suddenly, like magic, a wee man appears! He's tiny but a couple of words to the cops and we have access anywhere at the pyramids.
10 a.m. ... Giza ...
Make Claude rap inside the Kings Chamber inside the great pyramid! It doesn't make the film as Claude's management want dosh for it, shame but can't blame them.
Midday ...
Go to Claude's old school, more dudes with guns, they won't let us film again, Nora try's her charm but this time they're not budging, even the prospect of a backhander doesn't shift them. Was about to give up when one of the teachers arrives, a French geezer who speaks to Claude. That doesn't work either, he says no, but in conversation with Claude, he asks him what he does. Claude replies that he's a musician and an old boy from the school and I explain to the teacher that Claude is MC Solaar and he physically begins to shake and gets very very excited. Before you know it we're in, shooting in Claude's old classroom. We're surrounded by more excitable French teachers than you can shake a baguette at!
2 p.m. ... Downtown Old Cairo ...
It's bonkers; the noise, the smells, the crush of humanity. Get some great shots, plenty of dudes ask who we are. Or should I say shout at us, "what channel you?" Have decided that Egyptians shout all the time! Think it's prudent to pretend we are French TV. We are invited into a tea cafe where Claude and I are treated to real proper Egyptian tea and a hubbly bubbly. My tummy's not been the same since! More dudes shouting! But it's cool as there are no coppers. More shouting!
5 p.m. ... Bridge on the Nile ...
More trouble, this time with traffic cops. Loads of kids are around us, shouting about football, quite a laugh.
6 p.m. ... in a boat on the Nile ...
Nice and calm, great views of the city. Chill out. Finish filming.
10 p.m. ... "After Eight" Night Club ...
Really cool little club for dinner and a drink. It's up an alleyway behind a news vendor's stall, all very movie like, there's even a door flap that opens to identify us. As we're there, our new friend, the French teacher arrives with his wife, nice guy, and keeps wanting to buy drinks! Good fun.
Saturday ... 10 a.m. ... Cairo International Airport ...
Waiting for flight, only to discover I'm in the Baghdad flight crowd waiting to board. I want a smoke so go to the smoking room. I kind of stand out a wee bit! Lots of dudes give me odd looks, so for the first time I use my CNN ID and get myself into the First Class lounge! Home.