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Bride a widow after one day

Woman loses husband, son and mother

From CNN's Robyn Curnow
Sara Adamsson lives in hope of finding her husband Christer.
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Sara Adamsson lost her husband, son and mother in the tsunami.

Swedes say their government didn't move fast enough after the disaster.

Sweden is the hardest hit country outside southern Asia.
• Aid groups: How to help
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• Special report: After the tsunami

STOCKHOLM, Sweden (CNN) -- Sara Adamsson and her husband, Christer, loved Thailand so much they held a second wedding on a beach there on Christmas Day.

They had already married in Sweden but felt such a strong bond for the Southeast Asian country, they also wanted a Buddhist blessing for their marriage.

Joining the couple on their holiday were their two-year-old son, Johannes, and Adamsson's mother, Marianne Tivemark.

The picture-perfect ceremony was held on Khao Lak beach, and Adamsson says it was the best day of her life.

The Swedish woman's dream turned into a nightmare just a day later, though, and when the tsunami hit, she lost her son, husband and mother, and has not seen them since.

Now home in Sweden, Adamsson is desperate to know where her family are and every day she relives the terror of December 26.

Adamsson, her mother and her son were on the beach when the tsunami struck, while Christer was in the hotel, thanking staff for organizing such a special wedding the day before, she says.

"Then everything comes over us. I just hold my baby. To protect him from the waves, protect him from the house falling apart. The roof is falling apart. I just think I have to save his head."

Her mother was swept away, but Adamsson managed to grab Johannes and take refuge behind a house. When the house collapsed with the force of the water, she lost her son.

So far, 52 Swedes have been confirmed dead but 702 are listed as missing and another 1,201 remain unaccounted for.

Thailand is a popular destination for Swedish holiday makers to escape the ice and snow of their homeland.

More than 20,000 Swedes were in the region when the disaster struck.

Adamsson says all she remembers is feeling as though, surrounded by water, she would drown.

"I lose my baby in the wave. I can't hold him. It's like oil. I call 'Johannes. Johannes,'" she says.

"I can't do anything. Then I started to scream to myself, 'I not going to die. I'm not dying, I'm not dying, I'm not dying.'"

She remembers, the day before at the wedding ceremony, guests wishing the couple and their son a long life together as a family.

Now she is haunted by the events of the following day.

"I can never forgive myself for dropping my baby. I will always see his eyes when he disappears," she says.

And she is desperate to have them home, one way or another.

"I have to live on the hope that my family, especially my baby, is alive. Until I have proof, like DNA, or I can see the bodies with my own eyes, then I don't know what will happen. Until then I will still try to search," she says.

"I want to find my family dead or alive to get peace in my soul. I am so afraid, that I never get any answers, that I will search for my baby for, my husband, my mother, for the rest of my life."

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