Unspectacular football spectacles
By Mary Fischer
CNN Headline News
(CNN) -- Why do they throw a crummy high school dance party in the middle of my big football game? I know the Super Bowl isn't the only game with a halftime show, but it's the one with all the hype.
I totally ignore all the college bowl halftime shows, but it seems like watching the Super Bowl "extravaganza" is a requirement to keep your U.S. citizenship. And inevitably, it's not nearly as exciting as the people throwing it want you to believe. (Accidental nudity doesn't count.)
For many years the halftime show of the NFL championship game mostly featured marching bands. Football and marching bands go together in high school and college. I suppose it's natural to think they should continue their relationship in the pros. Maybe that's why it doesn't seem odd to have people in toy soldier outfits take the field with instruments.
Wheeling out huge stages, fog machines and hundreds of dancers, on the other hand, is not in any way natural. Though apparently Carol Channing starred in a Mardi Gras show at Super Bowl IV.
I have to tell you, if they replayed that halftime show, I'd watch every minute, natural or not. I bet it was wonderful. She was back two years later for Super Bowl VI's salute to Louis Armstrong, so she must have killed it in Super Bowl IV. (Carol Channing is quite a showman.)
Once the AFC-NFC matchup became the high holy day of American sporting events, they made the halftime show more "spectacular."
I think they know that the actual games are often lopsided and they try to make up for it, but I don't think it works. "Look, it's Chubby Checker and 88 grand pianos for Super Bowl XXII! Why? Who knows? Denver's down 35 to 10 against Washington. It's not much of a game. I guess I might as well look at 88 grand pianos."
The producers also seem to think that they can draw an audience that usually doesn't watch football for the big game if they have a halftime show that appeals to no one who watches football.
Take for instance the silver anniversary of the Super Bowl that featured New Kids on the Block. No one who wanted to see the Giants play the Bills wanted to rock out to "Hangin' Tough." And no one who wanted to see New Kids do their little dance cared that there was a pretty good game going on in Tampa.
Really, what they should do is just jam the halftime with more commercials. The network could make millions. Plus, the ads are usually better produced and people genuinely seem to want to watch them.
