Political Academy Awards
By Bill Schneider
CNN Political Unit
 |  "The Aviator" is up for 11 Oscars. |
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 CNN's Bill Schneider looks at the best political performances of the last season.
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HOLLYWOOD, California (CNN) -- Politicians are like movie stars. They can make us laugh or cry or choke on our popcorn.
We're here in Hollywood to celebrate the past year's outstanding performances, with the coveted awards from the Academy of Political Arts and Sciences.
And the best part? No tacky musical numbers or bad jokes.
Well, maybe a few.
The envelope please.
The Academy of Political Arts and Sciences presents the award for best actress to ... Hillary Clinton.
This was a difficult role for the New York senator. Did she really want John Kerry to win? Clinton's performance at the Democratic National Convention was utterly convincing when she said, "John Kerry is the man we need to be our president and commander-in-chief!"
The award for best actor goes to George W. Bush. He stayed on message, from early March, when it became clear that John Kerry would be his opponent to the night before the election, at his final campaign rally.
For best screenplay, the academy honors Barack Obama, for a star-making performance with a great script at the Democratic convention.
"The hope of a skinny kid with a funny name who believes that America has a place for him, too."
For best supporting actress, who can forget Teresa Heinz Kerry delivering this immortal line to a newspaper reporter?
"You said something I didn't say. Now shove it."
The award for best actor in a supporting role goes to former Georgia Sen. Zell Miller. A Democrat! You can't get more supportive than what he said about President Bush at the Republican National Convention.
"I have knocked on the door of this man's soul and found someone home -- a God-fearing man with a good heart and a spine of tempered steel."
The award for best song goes to "This Land, "a little ditty spoofing the election that became a big hit on the Internet.
The best director prize goes to the man who directed the winning campaign: Karl Rove. A great director knows exactly how he wants his movie to turn out.
"He increased his popular vote total by 11.6 million votes since 2000. That's four-and-a-half times the increase that President Clinton got between '92 and '96," Rove said in February.
And finally, for best picture of the year ...
And it's -- oh my God, a tie!
Not only that, but the political award goes to the movies. Two movies by filmmakers of opposite political persuasions, who turned the nation's red-blue division into box-office gold: Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11" and Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ."
The cultural divide defined American politics in 2004. And two controversial movies defined that cultural divide.
