Review: 'Mooseport' leaves droppings
By Paul Clinton
CNN Reviewer
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Maura Tierney, Ray Romano and Gene Hackman in "Welcome to Mooseport."
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(CNN) -- The new feature film "Welcome to Mooseport" is just too cute for its own good.
To begin with, everything in Mooseport is so-o-o-o-o-o-o quaint. There's quaint architecture. A quaint little park. A quaint gazebo. Lots of quaint characters right out of central casting. And even a quaint moose wandering the quaint streets.
It's enough to make you wanna gag -- in a quaint kind of way, of course.
This film is Ray Romano's live-action debut (he provided the voice of Manny in the animated comedy "Ice Age"). Romano is a likable character who essentially plays himself on his hit sitcom "Everybody Loves Raymond," and he does it again with "Welcome to Mooseport."
Unfortunately the script by Tom Schulman (who won an Academy Award for writing "Dead Poets Society") is, at best, a mildly amusing made-for-TV movie. Tickets should come with a frozen dinner.
The movie's saving grace is that Romano is surrounded by some first-rate actors. When watching two-time Academy Award winner Gene Hackman, or Oscar winner Marcia Gay Harden, or veteran character actor Rip Torn do their stuff, you forget for minutes at a time that this is a really bad movie.
Then, out of the blue comes some inane, stupid one-liner, or a ridiculous situation, and you're jolted out the moment and reminded that not even great acting can save an idiotic script.
Hackman plays Monroe "Eagle" Cole, an extremely popular former president who is going through a nasty divorce from his vindictive wife, Charlotte, played by an hysterical, over-the-top Christine Baranski. He's given her their main house and is moving to his summer residence in Mooseport, Maine, where he plans to write his memoirs.
Then he's asked by the good people of Mooseport to run for mayor, since their current mayor dropped dead right before the election. Unbeknownst to Cole, a popular hometown guy -- and owner of the local hardware store -- "Handy" Harrison (Romano) is also running.
(Yes, he's a handyman named Handy. Isn't that just so -- well -- quaint?)
But Handy has more problems on his hands than running for mayor. His longtime girlfriend, Sally, a local veterinarian (Maura Tierney, best known for TV roles in "ER" and "NewsRadio"), is running out of patience and wondering when Handy is going to pop the question. When the newly single ex-president asks her out for a date, she accepts in order to make Handy jealous.
However, the president is equally clueless about his own love life. His longtime assistant, Grace Sutherland (Harden), has been in love with him for years and he hasn't got a clue. Not even when she moves to Maine with him.
As the two men face off over politics and Sally's affections, what had begun as a friendly run for a political office in a backwater town becomes a national event. Cole is in trouble. If he wins, it looks like he's beating up on a civilian unfamiliar with the world of politics. If he loses, he's a joke for losing to a civilian unfamiliar with the world of politics.
Eventually, the two men hold nationally televised (!) debates as they slug it out for a job neither of them really want. The debates are followed by one unfunny situation after another as Cole tries to save his presidential legacy and Handy fights for the woman he loves.
Overall, this movie is a tremendous waste of Academy Award-caliber talent. So, welcome to Mooseport. But if you're smart you'll lock the doors and keep driving until you hit the Canadian border.
"Welcome to Mooseport" opens nationwide on Friday, February 20.
