Review: '50 First Dates' repetitive futility
Mirthless annoyances, over and over again
By Paul Clinton
CNN Reviewer
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Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler in "50 First Dates."
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(CNN) -- Remember the comedy "Groundhog Day," in which Bill Murray is forced to relive the same day time and time again? Well, "50 First Dates" has the exact same premise with one big difference: It's not funny.
This pedestrian pic starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore never gets out of neutral, and should have been left in park -- back in the junkyard.
The film is set in Hawaii, and I'm sure everyone involved got a great tan, not to mention all of that quality time with Don Ho. Sandler fans will once again find their hero displaying his wounded puppy-dog look, and Barrymore fans will once again find her bubbly and appealing. Indeed, this movie will probably enjoy a great opening weekend due to the marquee value of its two stars.
Then it will drop like a stone down a deep, deep sewer.
Cute meetings, ugly script
The limp script, by George Wing, features Sandler as Henry Roth, an arctic marine life veterinarian. Yes, "arctic" in Hawaii. Wait, it gets even better.
Anyway, Henry only dates women who are just visiting Hawaii, never locals. He wants no emotional entanglements -- none, that is, until he meets the girl of his dreams: Lucy, played by Barrymore.
To use the Hollywood vernacular, they "meet cute" at a local diner. Lucy is fond of using her breakfast waffles to build little log cabins, and Henry helps her make a waffle door using a toothpick as a hinge. See, I told you it got even better.
Among the co-stars in "50 First Dates" is Sean Astin (left), who comes way down from his "Lord of the Rings" performance, says CNN critic Paul Clinton
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True love strikes, and despite the fact that Lucy is a local art teacher, Henry makes plans to meet her again the following morning.
Here comes the big twist. The next morning at the diner, Lucy has no idea who Henry is, and rebuffs his advances. Workers at the diner quietly explain to Henry that due to a car accident on her father's birthday the previous year, Lucy has no short-term memory. So now the film is "Groundhog Day" meets Dory from "Finding Nemo," without the sharks or cleverness.
Now Henry has no choice: He's forced to make Lucy fall in love with him every day, day after day. And you guessed it. Every time they meet, they "meet cute."
It's enough to give you sugar shock. Pass the insulin.
Bad news
To really stretch this concept to the outer limits of sanity, Lucy's family enters the act. Her father Marlin (see? "Finding Nemo"!), played by Blake Clark, and her brother Doug, played by Sean Astin (in an unfortunate role after his triumph in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy), recreate her final day of memory over and over again so she won't know about her handicap.
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Sandler with a walrus in "50 First Dates." According to our critic, the walrus gets the best line in the movie.
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Every morning she reads the same newspaper (they've had hundreds of copies made), plans Marlin's birthday, paints her father's office, and has breakfast at the same diner -- all the things she did on the day of the accident.
How long can her family keep up the charade? How long can Henry and Lucy keep "meeting cute"? How long can the audience stand this idiotic drivel?
Too long, too long, and not long at all.
To add insult to injury, this film features a number of eccentric characters who are so contrived, so stunningly stereotyped, it defies description -- but I'll try. First is brother Doug, a steroid-popping body builder with a lisp and no goals or ambition beyond making his gluteus maximus rival the Cliffs of Dover. Obviously, Astin has a big mortgage and he can't live off his "Lord of the Rings" checks forever.
Objectable character number two is Ula, played by Rob Schneider: he's a one-eyed beach bum stoner with numerous kids and an overweight wife who lives vicariously through Henry's love life.
Then there is Henry's co-worker Alexa, played by Lusia Strus. He or she -- no one is really sure which -- puts the make on everyone and everything. Sporting blond pig tails and a blank stare, this androgynous character serves as a walking punchline that's punched far too often.
Let's put it this way: The highlight of the entire movie is when a walrus vomits all over Alexa. Now, THAT'S entertainment.
"50 First Dates" opens nationwide on the all-too-appropriate Friday, February 13, and is rated PG-13.
