Dennis Miller: A rant with a view

Dennis Miller's new book is called "The Rant Zone," featuring more of his trademark, reference-laden riffs.

By Paul Clinton
Special to CNN

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Dennis Miller -- an avowed conservative libertarian who puts the "so" into esoteric -- didn't think anything was really funny following the events of September 11.

"Your humanity dictates that you take a bit of a break," Miller says. "Humor wasn't my first instinct."

Then, Miller being Miller -- unkempt hair, a scraggly beard, mischievous eyes, and, of course, razor-sharp tongue -- he just can't help himself, and starts riffing.

Miller on the news media: "We've got [CNN anchor] Joie Chen walking around on a map of Afghanistan, going, 'We think that Special Operatives are coming here,' " he rants. "I'm saying, what are we doing, for God's sake! Forget the Freedom of Information Act right now."

Miller on politicians: "I look at [Senate Minority Leader] Trent Lott standing there and jabbering on, and I think, 'If Trent Lott was my neighbor I wouldn't talk to him across the hedge, much less listen to him on a microphone.' He's got that Bobby Goldsboro helmet hair, and I'm thinking, 'Does anybody take this guy seriously?' "

Miller on living normally: "These people talking about living normally," he muses, "live your life like you did before September 11, they say. You know what? On September 10, I was cautious. They act like I was a cliff diver on September 10 or something."

Miller on anthrax: "I have some politician, who hasn't opened his mail since he was 16 and got his first Playboy subscription, and he's telling me I'm supposed to be brave and open my mail!"

Miller on Washington: "It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C.," cracks the comic. "That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he ends up there. Gary Condit make sense to me. He's away from his family, he's in D.C. -- if he was a car dealer in the [San Fernando] Valley somewhere out there, he'd be the guy who was trying to get laid by offering you the free undercoating package."

A way of communicating

Writer, comedian, and NFL sportscaster Dennis Miller doesn't just march to his own drummer, he marches to his own orchestra -- complete with trumpets, a string section and percussion. Miller's biting observational humor is featured on his award-winning HBO series "Dennis Miller Live" and in his books of rants, the fourth of which, "The Rant Zone" (HarperCollins), has just been published.

The word rant is defined in the dictionary as, "To talk or say in a loud, wild, extravagant way; declaim violently; rave." Sounds crazy and unhinged, and it usually is. But to Miller, ranting and raving is just his way of communicating. He rants. He raves. Therefore he is.

But he's quietly forthright in describing his beliefs.

"I have a real strict set of opinions that I live my life by," he continues, sitting in a nondescript production office on a West Los Angeles industrial street.

"And you know what? They stop right here," he says, pointing to the end of his fingers. "I don't care what anybody else thinks, because I give them the respect -- that I assume your opinion means as much to you as mine does to me."

'I've always been a polarizing agent'

He has a similar attitude about his gig as an announcer on "Monday Night Football," now in its second year.

"I've always been a polarizing agent," he points out, "Even in comedy, for God's sake. So I knew when I took football on that there'd be, you know, some people who like it, some people who don't like it."

Each chapter of Miller's books on rants begins with "I don't want to go off on a rant here, but ..." and ends with, "That's just my opinion. I could be wrong." His latest tome covers the gambit from jobs to child stars to people who eat their dogs.

And, indeed, Miller could be wrong. But he doesn't really care, he says. He's taken a lot of criticism for everything from his political rants to his sports commentary, and he says the critics could be right -- regardless.

"They're right for hating me if they hate me, and the people who like me are right for liking me. I just do what I do, they make their judgments," he says. "I just don't understand the need to get everybody on your side in this culture."