'Freddy Got Fingered' is a bad, bad film
Gross, stupid, sick. And that's being kind
(CNN) -- The new comedy from Tom Green, "Freddy Got Fingered," is quite simply the worst movie ever released by a major studio in Hollywood history.
Co-written, directed by and starring Green, this train wreck disguised as a movie is a case study of an annoyingly vibrant attack of arrested adolescent development. There is not one single moment in the entire 86 minutes of this film that is the least bit redeemable on any level.
The film's press kit describes "Freddy Got Fingered" as a story about an unemployed young man living in his parents' basement who battles with his father (played by Rip Torn) over the son's future. The son, Gord (Green), is supposedly "just an overgrown boy with a wild sense of humor," according to the spin.
Yeah, right. And Jeffrey Dahmer was just a misunderstood guy with a taste for exotic meat.
Gord's (read that: Green's) taste in comedy is big on shock and schlock, but devoid of any genuine humor what…so…ever!
In following his dream of becoming an animator for television cartoons, Gord's diverted by one inane, sick situation after another -- none of which has anything to do with the film's plot, by the way.
Oops, forgive the use of the word "plot." That's term doesn't apply to this miserable mess.
About that title...
A sample of the mess: Gord gets up close and personal with the private parts of an aroused stallion; beats the legs of his wheelchair-bound girlfriend with a cane; and, after delivering a baby, he swings the newborn around the room by its umbilical cord. Ha-ha! Mom gets spattered with blood!
In case anyone is interested, Gord's younger brother is named Freddy. Gord accuses their father of sexually molesting him -- hence the title. Now that's comedy.
People will roll in the aisle, right out the door … and to the nearest bathroom.
There is nothing wrong with broad, teenage, gross-out, sophomoric humor: "American Pie" (1999) and "Scary Movie" (2000) come to mind. But Green apparently felt he had to scrape the bottom of the barrel of this genre, and the results are disgusting.
Artists pushing the envelope should not only be accepted, they should be encouraged. Movies should provoke people and make them think as they challenge established ideas. Yet films also should make sense and offer up some type of entertainment. And hey, if it's a comedy, it would be really great if the movie were funny.
Hagerty, Torn: Hang your heads
Julie Hagerty plays Green's mother. She hasn't done much since "Airplane" (1980) and "Airplane II" (1982), so maybe she needed the money to occupy the screen with Green.
What is Torn's excuse? He should be ashamed of himself for appearing in this cinematic scum. He's quoted as saying, "I think Tom's humor is refreshing." This veteran actor may need a reality check. Did he read the script?
Green, a 29-year-old native of Canada, made his mark on MTV with his gross-out comic antics. The problem with his shtick is that he apparently feels constant pressure to outdo himself. The results are hideous and have no point, other than shock value. Just how low can he go?
Green one day may grow up and become an actual filmmaker, but he's not there yet. At this point the studio behind "Freddy" might as well have taken the millions of dollars this film cost and thrown it right out a window.
"Freddy Got Fingered" is, when all the gagging subsides, no more than an enormous pile of horse dung. There's nothing humorous about it.
Note to Green: Come back when you have something funny, but until then, stay away from theaters. And pull up your pants on the way out.
"Freddy Got Fingered" opens nationwide on Friday. Rated R. 86 awful minutes.
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